


Time After Time

by Rakshi



Series: Time Series [3]
Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-22
Updated: 2011-11-22
Packaged: 2017-10-26 10:36:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 69,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/282071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rakshi/pseuds/Rakshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's fifteen years since they met, and ten years since they've been together. And now they fly towards America and a new life, each of them with their own worries and anxieties about the path now before them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_  
Time after time  
I tell myself that I’m  
So lucky to be loving you  
_

 _So lucky to be  
The one you run to see  
In the evening, when the day is through_

 _I only know what I know  
The passing years will show  
You’ve kept my love so young, so new_

 _And time after time  
You’ll hear me say that I’m  
So lucky to be loving you_

Elijah glanced out the plane window, but saw nothing. It was night, and if there was a moon it was hidden from view. Staring out the window into inky blackness, hearing only the low hypnotic hum of the jet engines, left him feeling mildly disoriented, as though he had suddenly entered a void that existed beyond time and space.

He drew a deep breath and turned to look at Sean, thinking that chatting with his lover would renew his connection with reality. Then he sighed. No help there; Sean was fast asleep. His body was twisted toward Elijah, his right arm extending across his chest, as though he had been reaching for him when he finally dropped off. Elijah touched his hair, feeling reassured by the sound of his soft breathing.

Sean had seemed unwell at times. His handsome face occasionally wore a pinched look, almost as if he were in pain. Elijah had enquired anxiously and been gently finger-poked and prodded by a grinning _‘Dr. Sean’_ who insisted on reciprocating with his **own** thorough examination. Elijah smiled at the memory. Sean’s ‘examination’ had ended in a highly satisfying manner, and Elijah had let the matter drop for the moment. He had not forgotten, however, and fully intended to nudge, and if necessary **force** , Sean into a complete physical as soon as they were settled.

Elijah knew Sean was stressed. The emotionally intense weeks since their reunion, the thought of actually ‘coming out’ as a couple to their families, and some slightly worrisome behavior on the part of his second-youngest daughter had all weighed heavily on Sean’s mind.

Lizzy was a puzzle whose pieces Elijah had yet to fathom. She had been only two years old when he last saw her. And though they had never discussed it, he could tell that Sean was anxious about what Elizabeth’s reaction would be when he revealed their new arrangement. Further, she seemed to be deliberately avoiding her father. Nearly every time Sean tried to call her, Chris told him that she was ‘out’. The one time he **did** speak to her, Sean was noticeably withdrawn afterward.

Elijah was not inclined to look kindly on anyone who caused Sean pain, and Sean’s children were no exception. But he knew it would only make matters worse if he said anything, so he kept his irritation to himself. Hopefully, once they settled in California and Elizabeth got to know him, things would resolve themselves naturally.

Elijah sighed and glanced at his watch. Six a.m. Los Angeles time. Another five and a half hours before landing. Elijah fidgeted, wishing he didn’t feel so nervous about the days and weeks ahead, then leaned his head against Sean’s shoulder, thinking he’d try to nap.

“Hey,” a soft voice murmured.

He glanced up into two hazel-grey eyes that slanted warmly into his. “Hey yourself,” Elijah said. “Thought you were asleep.”

Sean took a surreptitious look around, then gave Elijah a quick, soft kiss. “I was,” he whispered.

“Afraid of being seen?” Elijah teased.

Sean sighed and shook his head. “I know,” he said. “I’m a jackass. I’m a lucky man to be **able** to kiss you.”

“Stop it,” Elijah snapped, shaking his arm. “You’re not a jackass. You’re just not used to it yet.”

Sean glanced at him shyly and Elijah laughed. “And **THAT** is no way to avoid a public display of affection. You’re more apt to incite one that way than avoid one.”

Sean smiled and clasped Elijah’s arm. He tugged, inching him a bit closer, and tilted his head until their foreheads were nearly touching. “I want you to know,” he said quietly. “I want you to know in every atom of your being that I know how blessed I am that I have this chance. This chance to make it all work. This chance for happiness.”

Elijah smiled. “I know, Sean. I do know. It’s the same for me. We could have lost it all so easily. And for a decade we **DID** lose it all.” He looked into Sean’s eyes, thinking for the millionth time how much tenderness and love was reflected in this face that he adored. And how overwhelmed with gratitude he felt when he realized that the love this good man felt for him had remained unaltered for fifteen years. “You’re not the only one who feels blessed,” he whispered.

“We won’t lose it again,” Sean said with quiet resolve. “I’ll never let you go again, Elijah, no matter what happens.”

Elijah smiled and covered Sean’s hand briefly with his. Then he leaned back a bit, needing to catch his breath. “Dom’s meeting us?”

“He said he was. He was on a tear about how he couldn’t wait to see ‘Sam and Frodo’ together again. Going on about a Fellowship reunion.” Sean faked a shudder. “Scary!”

Elijah punched his shoulder. “Scary! You’re not up for a Fellowship reunion?”

Sean rolled his eyes and Elijah laughed out loud. “Do you think Ian would make it?” he queried.

Sean shrugged. “I dunno, babe. He had that one bad episode a year or so ago, but was fine last I heard. We’d just have to ask and see. If he’s well enough, I doubt wild horses could keep him away.”

“Be something wouldn’t it?” Elijah mused out loud. “I mean, all of us together again. Is Dom really pushing this idea?”

“Pleading for it is more like it,” Sean said, reaching absently for Elijah’s hand.

“Well, I’m in favor of it, too, and I plan to encourage him,” Elijah said firmly. Sean shot him a pretend grimace and Elijah laughed, then nodded toward their joined hands. “You think the flight attendants will understand?”

“Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke,” Sean mumbled, snuggling his face against the small airline pillow. “Try to nap, baby. Big day tomorrow.”

“Sweet dreams,” Elijah whispered, releasing Sean’s hand. He closed his eyes and tried to follow Sean into sleep, but his mind was whirling. His whole life had been turned upside down in the past few weeks and he still felt dizzy with the emotional impact of his transformation.

He had been peaceful, if not entirely happy, in his quiet Paris house. Now, almost overnight, he was headed back to America to build a new life in hectic, garish Los Angeles. He searched his feelings ruthlessly, but no matter now painstakingly he examined them, he found no suggestion of regret. He had yearned for this reunion with Sean. But in spite of his joy that they were together once again, his stomach churned with apprehension. So many unanswered questions. So much uncertainty.

And now, as their plane hurtled ever closer to the new life that they both wanted so desperately, that uncertainty gnawed at Elijah, robbing him of peace. _‘We were safe in Paris!_ ’ He thought unhappily. _‘Nothing could touch us there.’_ But in Los Angeles, Elijah felt, their love would be constantly threatened. He realized that his fears were totally irrational, but could not shake them off.

Close beside him, Sean tried desperately to quiet his mind enough to nod off. Ever since childhood he’d been able to escape into sleep when faced with problems over which he had no control. Unpredictable situations frightened him. He was never able to find the faith it required to simply let the universe unfold without his active participation. He felt sure something dreadful would happen in any situation where he wasn’t able to exert at least **some** direct influence, which went a long ways toward explaining why he felt anxious about flying. But now sleep eluded him. Like Elijah, he wrestled with thoughts that refused to release him into sleep.

He’d already thought long and hard about Elijah’s decision to move back to America. He knew how much Elijah was giving up to follow him to Los Angeles. And though Sean **would** have stayed in Paris with him rather than see them part again, it would have been hard on him to do so. His three daughters needed his presence in their lives and he needed theirs in his.

Yet, Sean knew that Elijah loved the quiet streets of his Paris suburb. Further, he knew that Elijah was not fond of the frenetic lifestyle that sometimes was part and parcel of living and working in Hollywood. Sean was no more fond of it than Elijah, but less apt to get dragged into it. It had been years since he had been a working actor, and longer than that since he’d been part of the Hollywood culture.

His job as a director of educational television was as far removed from glitter and ‘glam’ as one could get. But Sean found it satisfying in ways that his ‘Hollywood’ years could never approximate. Not even the years when he had been enormously successful.

He appreciated Elijah’s vow to decline any acting jobs for the next year while the two of them made up for the ten years they had lost, but he was wise enough in the ways of film-making to know that the pressure on Elijah to forego his promise would be enormous. He had just won an Oscar, and already his agents were calling him, pleading with him to at least **read** some of the scripts that were being sent to their office on a daily basis. Directors and producers, wanting to capitalize on his popularity, were already vying with each other to have him in their latest picture.

Sean would not hold him to his vow, and would, in fact, encourage him to go back to work once they were settled. He hoped and prayed that making their relationship public wouldn’t do anything to weaken Elijah’s position as an Oscar winning actor. He would have been content to keep their relationship under wraps for that very reason, but Elijah refused to even discuss such an arrangement. They were together, people could like it or lump it, and that was that.

There was only one person whose rejection Sean feared might have an immediate impact on their lives, and that was Elizabeth. He had asked Ally not to say anything to her younger sisters about him and Elijah so that he could explain things to them himself. But from Elizabeth’s reaction the one time they talked on the phone, he felt sure that either Ally had slipped and said something, or someone else had.

He had found it odd that she was so constantly ‘out’ whenever he called. And when he finally did catch her at home, their conversation had seemed somewhat stilted.

“Hi, cutie! How’ve you been? I miss you.”

“Miss you too, Dad. I’m cool.”

“I’ll be home in a few days. I’ll be so glad to see you!”

“You coming home alone?”

“Alone? What do you mean, alone?”

“I mean… alone, Dad. Without anyone coming with you.”

“No. Uncle Elijah is coming with me. I know you haven’t seen him for a long time, but he remembers you and is dying to see you.”

“Umm, Dad? Where’s he going to be staying?”

Sean hesitated for a moment, then took a deep breath and spoke. “With me. Why?”

“I thought you’d **stopped** being friends with him.”

“No, I didn’t. We just hadn’t seen each other in a long time. Elizabeth, what’s going on? Why are you asking me all these questions? Why the attitude?”

There was a long silence, then a muffled mumble, as though Elizabeth had covered the phone to talk to someone else. Then she spoke again, her voice heavy with sorrow. “Oh, no real reason, Dad. Just… curious, I guess. I gotta go, Daddy. See you when you get home.”

“OK,” Sean said, sadly. “Love you, princess.”

“Love you too, Pops.” And she hung up.

Sean wondered for a moment if Chris had said something to turn Elizabeth against him, then quickly dismissed the idea. He would not believe that she could ever denigrate him to their children. It simply wasn’t her style. Although strictly heterosexual herself, she was completely open to the idea of gay relationships and had many homosexual and lesbian friends. After their divorce, she had encouraged him to seek out Elijah and renew their relationship. She even told him that she’d very nearly called Elijah herself because she could see how unhappy Sean was in the latter days of their marriage.

So what **had** instilled this attitude in Elizabeth? Sean would talk to Chris as soon as he reached Los Angeles to discuss the possible reasons for their daughter’s obvious unhappiness. He couldn’t bear to think that his actions had hurt his little girl. Yet, Sean knew that if the terrible choice was forced on him of building his life with Elijah or losing the daughter he loved, he would stay with Elijah. His heart would break, and he feared that he might never be the same again, but he would not be blackmailed into once again giving up this love that was his whole heart and soul.

When he paused to ponder his life, Sean mourned for many dreams that he believed had been lost along the way. He had never directed a major motion picture, though he still thought he had the talent for such an undertaking. He had never been successful in the political arena, or powerful enough to be a catalyst for real social change.

Sean mourned these dreams as only a man who is fiercely driven to succeed **can** mourn them. But the lost dream that had truly withered his spirit was the dream of being with Elijah. Of sharing his life with the young actor who had so completely stolen his heart during the filming of 'Lord of the Rings'. When that dream died, it defeated him utterly, leaving him indifferent to all other hopes.

Now that this dream had been reborn, Sean would not let it go again. Out of the barren desert that his life had become, a miracle had sprung, born out of a love that neither time nor age could destroy. Sean had only two dreams now. To watch his children grow into strong, loving adults, and to walk through the rest of his life with Elijah by his side. He refused to see these two dreams as irreconcilable. And finally, as he focused on the these thoughts and the promise of their unfolding future together, he relaxed enough to drift off.

Elijah managed to doze now and then, but Sean slept through the rest of the flight. As they landed, he grinned and poked Sean's arm to wake him. "Hey, sleepyhead! Some damn company **you** were!"

Sean yawned, bleary eyed, and leaned over Elijah to peer out the window. "We here?" He could see little through the dingy pane, but it appeared that they had landed.

"Almost at the gate."

Sean sat back and looked at Elijah intently for a moment. "Well, you're back. How does it feel?"

Elijah wrinkled his nose as if smelling something distasteful, then laughed. "Ask me in a week." He stopped and appeared to ponder. "Make that a month."

Sean nodded and stood to grab the bags they'd stowed in the overhead. Elijah took his from Sean's hand and shrugged as they moved toward to the exit door. "It's going to take awhile to sink in, you know?" He felt exhausted and half-stumbled as they stepped onto the jet-way. Sean quickly grabbed his arm, and steadied him. "You OK?"

"Yeah. Just tired."

"We'll be home soon."

"Home," Elijah said quietly. His tone carried a touch of sadness, and Sean shot him a quick look. "Sounds good," Elijah added with a grin.

"I know you'll miss Paris."

Elijah shrugged. "Not as much as I would have missed **you**."

The airport was teeming, as usual. They wove their way through the crowd, heading to the baggage pickup area. Halfway there, Sean glanced at Elijah and laughed. He was wearing a jaunty Parisian hat that had been stuffed in his overhead bag. It was pulled down over his eyes at a roguish tilt and he walked with an exaggerated swagger.

"That your Jacques Cousteau impression?"

Elijah grinned. "Don't you need water for that?"

"Yeah," Sean drawled dryly. "That, and a getaway car."

Elijah giggled and shoved him gently. "Are you dissing my hat?"

"Who ME?" Sean queried innocently, shoving back. "I wouldn't dream of it," he assured Elijah, rolling his eyes.

They were both laughing as they walked through the door leading to 'baggage claim' and turned as one when a wild shout rose above all other noises in the crowded room.

"Hey Frodo!! Welcome to Hollywood!"

They both spotted Dom moving toward them at a trot. He swept Elijah into his arms and they hugged, laughing joyfully. "My **god** , I'm glad to see you!" After a moment he turned to embrace a grinning Sean. "Jesus, man,” Dom said quietly. “It's been too long."

"I know," Sean said softly, returning his hug. "I'm sorry about that, Dom."

After releasing Sean, Dom stood back a bit, shoving Elijah slightly to place him at Sean's side. He stood silently for a moment pondering them thoughtfully, then he nodded. "That's how it **should** be," he said softly. Then he shook his head and grabbed Sean's overhead bag. "Sure as fuck **took** you two long enough!"

"I was waiting for him to grow up," Sean said, and immediately ducked away from Elijah's fake punch.

"Well, he appears to be full grown now," Dom said, laughing. He took Elijah's arm and steered them toward a conveyer belt that was just beginning to turn. "I checked already. Your luggage will be at this one. Let's get it and get the hell outta here. I've got a car waiting."

They chatted happily as they waited for Sean’s and Elijah's luggage. Sean eyed Elijah as he laughed and talked with Dom, looking for any sign that he was uncomfortable or unhappy. He saw none. Elijah was his usual animated self, and seemed as overjoyed to be with his friends as he had ever been.

"You're pushing for a Fellowship reunion?" Elijah asked Dom as he reached for one of his bags.

Dom helped him drag it off the belt. "Jesus! What have you GOT in here? You smuggling stuff from the Louvre?" He wrestled the suitcase to the cart beside them.

"Pussy," Elijah observed dryly.

"Dick," Dom shot back without missing a beat.

"You two should get along well," Sean said, snickering. He reached past them to grab his own bag. "THIS," he said, shaking his suitcase in Dom's face, "is the only one I have! Unlike SOME people!" He nodded toward the conveyer belt. "That huge blue thing belongs to the Ringbearer."

Dom rolled his eyes and yanked the massive blue trunk from the belt, piling it on a cart with the others. "C'mon. Limo waiting."

"The reunion?" Elijah reminded him as they walked.

"Oh! Yeah! I've already gotten hold of Viggo and Bean, and they're wild about the idea! Haven't reached Ian yet. Billy? He's a go. You know Bill. He can't WAIT to get his hands on me."

Sean and Elijah exchanged a look. "Riiiight," Elijah said. "It's BILL who can't wait, huh?"

Dom pointed to a long, black limo at the curb. "There's our car." His face, Sean noticed, had acquired high flush. "And, yeah. Of course he can't wait. He's always been nuts about me!"

Dom handed the luggage cart over to the driver and dove into the waiting limo, ignoring the chuckling behind him.

Sean and Elijah clambered in after him, still laughing. "Oh, knock it off, you two!" Dom spouted, still blushing. "So," he turned to Sean. "Where we headed? Your place?"

Sean bit his lip, feeling a sense of mortified shock flood his body. His place! Of course! That's where they'd have to stay until they found something else. It hadn’t occurred to him until now. But it was so SMALL compared to Elijah's beautiful Parisian home. He glanced at Elijah then turned away. "I - I guess so. But…"

Dom looked at him questioningly.

"What's wrong, Sean?" Elijah asked, laying his hand on Sean's arm.

"God, Lij," Sean stammered. "My place is so - well, it's just so..," he shook his head and sighed.

"It's so… what?" Elijah asked, laughing.

"It's just an apartment," Sean said quietly. "It's - well, it's small. Nothing like your place, Lij. I hope you - I mean I hope that it…". He sighed again. "I hope it's OK" he said softly.

Elijah took Sean's hand. "Do YOU live there?" He asked.

"Well… yes. Of course I live there."

"Then it's got everything I need," he said, kissing Sean's cheek. "Stop it, Sean. You know what really matters to me."

Sean leaned forward to give his address to the driver, then settled back between his two friends. "OK, we're on our way. It IS a small place though," he said, turning back to Elijah. "We need to talk this through. We need a bigger place soon, especially with Gabrielle coming over…"

"Gabrielle?" Dom enquired.

"Elijah's housekeeper," Sean said.

"A **FRENCH** housekeeper??" Dom said happily. "I demand to be introduced!"

"She's 65 years old, Dom!" Elijah said, then laughed at a visibly disappointed Dom. He turned back to Sean. "Don't worry about it. Your place will be fine for now. I'll put Gabby up in a hotel if we haven't found a place by the time she gets here."

"Where were you thinking of looking?" Dom asked.

"I don't know," Sean said.

"Malibu?" Elijah asked.

"Can't afford it," Sean said quietly, avoiding Elijah's gaze.

"Sean?" he said softly.

"We need to talk about it," Sean murmured, his voice barely audible. He leaned forward to tell the driver where to turn, and behind his back Dom and Elijah exchanged a worried glance.

Sean leaned back, recaptured Elijah's hand, and turned to Dom. "So have you talked to Ian yet about the reunion?"

"Haven't been able to reach him," Dom said. "Lij, do you have a more recent phone number?"

"I might have," Elijah told him. "Let me try to find it after we settle a bit."

The rest of the drive was spent in amiable conversation, catching up with each other's lives, and asking about mutual friends. Dom glanced at Sean as they turned into his apartment complex. "Please tell me it's not on the second floor!"

"Nope. It's on the third!" Sean laughed as they stepped out of the limo.

"Oh my god, my aching back," Dom moaned, walking toward the back of the car.

"Make him help you with those bags!” Sean directed. “He's the one who packed them!"

"Hey, I'm moving here!" Elijah protested, helping Dom pull his blue trunk out of the limo. "This isn't a long weekend, you know."

Dom growled as he pulled on the trunk. "Jesus, Lij!" He glanced mournfully at Sean. "Third floor?"

Sean laughed and took pity on him. "First floor, Dom. Follow me." He grabbed his bags and led them to an entrance toward the back of the apartment complex. Dom and Elijah staggered behind him, laughing, each holding one side of Elijah's blue trunk while the driver followed with the other bags.

"Jesus, Sean, hurry!" Elijah begged, laughing as he sagged under the weight.

"Puuuussy boy," Dom chanted, causing Elijah to laugh and sag even more.

Sean opened the door and ushered them into the apartment, where they gratefully dropped the trunk on the floor. They were in a small utility room that led into the kitchen. Sean tipped the driver and turned to deal with the pile of luggage, but Elijah ignored the baggage in favor of walking further into the apartment to explore his new home. Sean and Dom wrestled the bags into the living room before collapsing onto Sean's leather couch.

"Is there anything cold in that fridge, mate?" Dom asked.

"Beer," Sean said, idly thumbing through mail that had been gathering on his coffee table. "Bring me one too, OK?"

"You got it!"

Elijah found that Sean's apartment, while far from spacious, was not as small as his words made it seem. The joint kitchen and dining area was ample. The two bedrooms were big enough for comfort, particularly the master bedroom, and the living room was absolutely huge. Sean's furniture reflected his taste. Made of leather and wood, it was oversized and utterly comfortable. Elijah could see how it might get a bit cramped when the girls visited, especially after Gabrielle arrived. But it would do quite nicely until they found a home of their own.

He wandered into the bedroom and gasped in delight as he saw a skylight over the bed. "This is cool!" he yelled. "We can watch the stars while we make love!"

Dom wandered back into the living room with two beers in his hands and grinned as Sean blushed furiously. "Skylight," Sean murmured in explanation, nodding toward the bedroom.

Dom laughed at the blush and yelled: "Too much information, Frodo. You're embarrassing your boyfriend!" Then he turned to Sean and handed him the beer. "How did they manage a skylight for a first floor apartment?"

"Because there's nothing but trees above my bedroom."

Elijah walked back into the living room. "No beer for me?" he whined, dropping onto the couch beside Sean. "And I don't know what you're so fucking worried about. This apartment is **NICE**! It'll do just fine for now."

"Yeah, for now," Sean said dryly, handing his beer to Elijah. "You drink mine. I'll get another." He stood and wandered toward the kitchen.

"You'll spoil him, Sean," Dom yelled after him, then he leaned toward Elijah and spoke softly. "You two gonna be OK? He seems pretty anxious."

"We're fine," Elijah said, sipping his beer. "He gets that way about the money thing."

"It can be an issue," Dom conceded.

"It won't be an issue," Elijah said firmly. "He's going to let me help out, and that's the end of it!"

Dom laughed. "My god! Poor Sean!"

"Why 'poor' Sean?" Sean asked, returning to the living room, beer in hand. "You should be saying 'lucky' Sean." He sat down beside Elijah and wound his arm around Elijah's neck, hugging him close.

"You'll find out why 'poor' Sean," Dom replied, setting his empty beer can on the table, and standing up. "OK! I'm outta here for now if you two can manage. I'll give you a call tomorrow."

Sean and Elijah rose at the same time and embraced Dom in turn, thanking him for the help and promising to meet him for dinner before the weekend. Sean walked him to the front entrance, then shut the door behind him.

"Wow!" he laughed, returning to flop on the couch beside Elijah. "I'd forgotten how much energy he has!" He turned to Elijah and leaned forward to kiss him, suddenly realizing how long it had been since he'd held him close. He felt Elijah's lips part under his and wound his arm around Elijah's waist, pulling him closer, pressing their bodies together. "Mmmmmm," he moaned softly. "I was missing this!"

Elijah sneaked a peek at his watch as his arms encircled Sean's neck. "My god, Seanie. It's only 1:15 in the afternoon! It feels like midnight!"

"It's nine at night in Paris," Sean murmured, burrowing against Elijah's shirt collar. "We've been up for days."

"Not days, duffus!"

"Days," Sean said firmly, then he leaned back and smiled. "Wanna take a nap?"

"Nap?" Elijah said suspiciously. "What bullshit THAT is!" He eyed Sean, grinning. "I question your motives, Mr. Astin."

Sean batted his eyes, flirting in a hugely exaggerated southern accent. "I swear, Mr. Lijah, sir. I just wanna sleep."

"Ha!" Elijah said, pushing on Sean's broad shoulders. "Quit being a wanker. I want to talk for a minute."

Sean drew in a deep breath and sat back. "OK. Talk away. What's on your mind?"

"Finances," Elijah said. "More accurately, **OUR** finances."

"Easy discussion from my side, since I have none." He was smiling, but Elijah felt him pull back a bit, as if distancing himself, or screwing himself up to go into 'stubborn' mode.

"You have **NO** money?" Elijah asked, incredulous. "You gave Chris **EVERYTHING**?"

"No. Not everything. I also set up trust funds for the girls." Elijah could see a flush rising on his face. "And… I have a bit of money saved and some investments. It's not enough to pay for half of a Malibu house though, baby." He studied his hands for a moment. "I'm sorry."

"It doesn't have to be Malibu. And who said you had to pay **HALF**? I have tons of money!"

The dogged look that swept over Sean's face was predictable, and Elijah sighed. He was handling this badly. "Sean, please listen to me."

"I will **NOT** let you be the only one paying for a home we'll both share," Sean said. "We need a financial agreement, Elijah. We talked about this! I will not take advantage of you that way."

“Sean, please. Just listen!” Elijah grabbed his arm and shook it. Sean immediately quieted.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “Sorry, baby. I just – I mean it’s hard to…” he sighed in frustration. “Oh hell, you know what I’m trying to say.”

“Yes. I do. Now you listen to **ME**!” He turned Sean toward him and looked him squarely in the eye. “If you want us to have a financial agreement, fine. You know a lawyer who’ll do it for us? Fine. But you don’t have to put half down on the house. Just put what you can, and let the agreement state that if or when it’s sold, you get that percentage from the profits. Then, at least, it can fairly be in both our names.”

Sean started to speak, then stopped.

Elijah dropped his eyes. “Jesus, Sean. Why are we hassling over fucking money!” He dropped his hands from Sean’s shoulders. “I hate these kind of discussions! They seem so… beneath us.”

Sean’s arms encircled him and pulled, dragging Elijah across his lap, cradling him in his arms. “Lij, we’re not ‘hassling’, we’re talking.” He drew Elijah close and curled his finger in a soft caress around Elijah’s ear. “We need to be able to talk about it… don’t you agree?”

“Your tactics are blatantly unfair,” Elijah complained, “but you do have a point.”

“As always,” Sean murmured, pressing soft kisses to Elijah’s lips. “Wanna go check out the skylight?”

“You’re just determined to get me into that bedroom, aren’t you,” he said laughingly, clutching handfuls of Sean’s curls, then laughing harder yet as Sean nodded vigorously, his face pressed to Elijah’s throat, growling and snapping playfully.

They both started when Sean’s phone suddenly rang. Elijah grabbed it, giggling, and answered. “Helloooo…,” he crooned. “Sean Astin’s residence.” After a moment he clambered off Sean’s lap, and flopped clumsily onto the couch beside him. “Oh… hi!” He was silent for a moment while Sean looked his puzzlement. Elijah held up a finger, asking him to wait.

“It’s good to hear your voice too,” he said quietly. Another moment of silence. “Thank you, Chris. That means a lot to me. Here he is…” He held out the phone to Sean, making a comical face of mock terror, nearly dropping it in Sean’s lap in his haste to turn it over.

Sean laughed softly and picked it up. “Hi, Chris. How’s it going?”

Elijah stood and grabbed one end of his blue trunk, dragging it across the carpeted floor as Sean talked with his ex-wife. _Jesus,’_ he thought, pulling his trunk toward the bedroom. _‘That’s going to take some getting used to!’_ He had never been on bad terms with Chris, though his feelings for Sean had always left him feeling somewhat awkward in her presence. Their relationship had only become strained after Sean spoke openly to her about his feelings for Elijah. Shortly after that, Elijah left for Paris.

To his astonishment, she had spoken amiably just now. She even expressed happiness that he and Sean were finally together. _‘She seemed totally sincere! That’s so awesome!_ ’ Elijah thought, yanking the trunk through the bedroom door. He stayed in the bedroom, examining the closet and drawers, which were nearly empty, giving Sean privacy for his phone call.

He was yanking clothes from the trunk and transferring them to hangers when Sean walked in and smiled at him. “Well, that’s a nice sight! Your clothes in the closet with mine.” He sat down on the bed. “I've waited a long time to see that.”

“You don’t appear to have much **in** your closet,” Elijah said. “Got a drawer I can have?” He waved underwear at Sean. “Need some place to put this stuff.”

“There’s a whole empty dresser in the other bedroom. Why don’t you just appropriate it?”

Elijah grabbed a handful of briefs and t-shirts and walked toward the bedroom door. “Good enough!”

Sean leaned back, stretching out on the bed.

“Chris was nice to me,” Elijah called from the other room. “Felt good! But also a bit weird!”

Sean laughed and shook his head. “I’m sure it felt weird to her, too. By the way,” he said, raising his voice to be heard in the other room, “I found out why Lizzy’s been acting so strange.”

Elijah walked back into the bedroom and immediately crossed to sit on the bed beside Sean. “Why?”

“Chris’s mother,” Sean said, bitterly. “They’re very religious. Hard-core Christian-right kind of thing. We’re an _abomination_ , don’t you know.” He shook his head in disgust. “Jesus, just what we needed.”

Elijah stared at the wall, then spoke softly. “God fucking **DAMN** it!”

“Lij, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Elijah asked sharply. “None of this is your doing. Jesus Christ, Sean, you refused the happiness with me that we both wanted! Now, when we finally have a chance to find that happiness we have to hear that we’re an **ABOMINATION**?!” His blue eyes flashed as he gazed at Sean. “This is just fucking wrong!”

Sean twisted, and leaned on his elbow, then raised Elijah’s hand to his lips. He held it there for a moment, eyes closed. “God, why couldn’t we have had just one week of peace?”

“What are you going to do?”

“Chris has talked to her mother, and to Elizabeth. Her mom agreed to lay off after Chris lambasted her, but Lizzy still hates the very idea of us being together.”

Elijah pulled his hand away and ran his fingers anxiously through his hair. Anger stormed through his chest. His heart pounded with it. He knew what Sean’s children meant to him, and he knew this had to be breaking Sean’s heart. But right now Elijah could find no words of comfort within him, he was simply too angry.

He lifted his head and reached to touch Sean’s cheek. “I love you,” he said finally. “I love you with all my heart.” His voice was tight and the hand on Sean’s cheek was trembling. “And I am NOT giving you up because your twelve year old daughter doesn’t approve of us! I gave you up last time for your kids. I walked away without a fight. I won’t ever do it again, Sean.”

“Elijah, there’s no question of that. I feel the same way. I won’t give in to this. But, Lij, she’s young. She doesn’t understand.”

“Sean, you don’t have to defend Elizabeth to me. I’m pissed off at the people who did this to her, not at her. What about Isabella?”

“Evidently Issy doesn’t buy into it. She’s more inclined to listen to Ally, and you know Ally adores you.” Sean sighed. “Liz is the middle child. I think it hurt her a lot more when her mom and I divorced. She feels as though you’ve supplanted her mother... though Chris has told her repeatedly that this isn’t the case. Hell, **SHE** asked for the divorce!” He pressed Elijah’s fingers to his cheek, taking comfort from the touch.

“What should we do?” Elijah asked him. “God, I have NO fucking clue how to deal with a pissed off teenager. Are the kids coming over this weekend?”

“Well, Ally and Isabella probably will. Chris doesn’t want to force Elizabeth to come if she’s not comfortable with it. And… I agree.”

“But if she won’t come around me, how can I win her over?”

Sean pulled Elijah down beside him on the bed. They sprawled across it sideways, their bodies pressed close. Sean buried his face against Elijah’s shirtfront. “Elijah, I just don’t know. And I’m too tired to figure it out right now.” He breathed in the heady scent of Elijah’s body, burrowing against him, breathing his name. There might be difficult times ahead, but at this moment Sean felt light-headed with gratitude that the greatest love of his life was here, in his house, in his arms.

For a long time they lay there together, taking solace, as always, from each other’s nearness, and eventually Elijah felt the anger fade. Scattered afternoon sunlight flickered down on them through the leaves that waved gently over their skylight. And after a while, they slept.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elijah awoke to the sound of furniture being scuffled around in the guest bedroom, and stumbled in to see what was going on. Sean was struggling with the spare dresser, trying to wrestle it to the door. Elijah wandered in, yawning and scratching his head.

“Hey, sleepyhead!” Sean said, smiling. “Stop yawning and give me a hand here. Let’s put this in our room. There’s plenty of room for it. We’ll buy another one to put here for the girls.”

They carried the dresser into the master bedroom, and situated it along the wall next to Sean’s. “There!” Sean said, admiring the new addition. “That looks great!”

Elijah draped himself over Sean’s back, arms around his neck. “How long did we sleep?” he asked, nuzzling the nape.

Sean turned to take him in his arms. “Ohhh, about 2 hours I guess. You feeling perky yet?”

“Not really. Tell you the truth, I feel exhausted. And slightly disoriented.”

“I know.” Sean rocked him gently, his hand moving slowly down the back of Elijah’s head, smoothing his hair. “You have to feel as though your whole world has been turned upside down. None of your nice things around you… all this craziness to deal with.”

Elijah relaxed into Sean’s arms and closed his eyes. _‘If I could just stay like this,_ ’ he thought. _‘Just stay in his arms with my eyes closed… everything would seem perfect._ ’ He inhaled deeply, taking in the clean, gingery scent of Sean’s skin, then lifted his head and rubbed his cheek against Sean’s stubble of a beard. “I’m fine,” he murmured. “I knew it would seem odd at first. Gabby is packing the Paris house, and she knows which ‘nice’ things I want sent along.” He kissed Sean tenderly. “Hey… we both knew there’d be issues to deal with. Hell, we haven’t even heard from your **mother** yet!”

Sean groaned, and Elijah leaned back, giggling. “C’mon, big guy. Help me unpack.”

The rest of the day was spent unpacking and getting Elijah settled into the apartment. Their phones didn’t ring and no one came calling, which was something of a minor miracle, but one they welcomed wholeheartedly.

When night fell, they crawled into bed together, too exhausted to do more than whisper their love to each other, and fall asleep, clutching each other close.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bed was empty when Elijah awoke. But he could hear noises from the kitchen and music playing softly. Glancing up, he saw rain falling gently onto the glass of their skylight and a grayish sky behind the leaves overhead. After making a shortcut into the bathroom, he ambled into the kitchen, looking for Sean.

He found him in shorts and a t-shirt standing barefoot over the stove, scrambling eggs. There was a pile of crisp bacon on a plate next to the stove, and a bowl of fresh strawberries sprinkled with powdered sugar was already on the table, along with coffee and glasses of orange juice.

“Mornin’, love,” he said, grinning at Elijah. “You hungry?”

“You ever know a Hobbit who wasn’t?” Elijah replied, moving to lean against him from behind.

“Then sit. This is almost ready.”

Sean’s kitchen was large, with a central island for cooking and plenty of counter space. The walls were a combination of pale yellow paint and cheerful flowered wallpaper. The room radiated light and warmth, and Elijah liked it. It felt good. He sat down, sipping his juice, and let Sean wait on him.

“I get to cook for you too, you know,” he informed Sean as a plateful of eggs was set before him.

“Yeah? Well, OK, if you insist. But please let me know ahead of time so I can increase my life insurance.”

Elijah swatted his ass in response, and stuffed his mouth with eggs. “Mmmffth good,” he mumbled.

They were chatting happily over breakfast when there was the sound of someone fumbling at the utility room door as if they were trying to unlock it. Sean started to stand, but before he could do so, the door swung open and a voice called: “Hey, bro! You here?”

“Yeah, Mack!” Sean called. Come on in!”

Mackenzie wandered into the kitchen with a beer in his hand and a happy smile on his face. Elijah immediately stood and hugged him. “Mack!” he said, kissing his cheek! “God, man, it’s good to see you!”

“Hey, little brother,” Mack said, hugging Elijah. “I heard you were coming back with our boy, here.” He turned to Sean. “Can’t call a person? Can’t let a person know?”

Sean waved dismissively with his piece of toast and stuffed his face with eggs. “Hey, Mack,” he mumbled, “Elijah’s coming back with me.”

“Oh, funny! Very funny man,” Mack said, taking a seat at the table.

Elijah grinned as he re-seated himself and dug into his breakfast. _‘Some things never change,’_ he thought. _‘The Astin brothers are still at it.’_

Sean, still chewing, pointed at the beer.. “Some breakfast!”

Mackenzie sighed. “Yeah. Well, actually it’s more like dinner. I’ve been doing night shoots the past week and sleeping during the day. Ally actually told me about you and Frodo, here. She’s quite happy about it, but I hear that Elizabeth’s balking a bit.”

“I don’t know what to do about that, Mack,” Sean said quietly. “Do you have any suggestions?”

“Yeah. Send her to her room and ignore her.”

“He can’t do that, Mack,” Elijah said. “She needs to know that her feelings are respected… acknowledged. She’s hurt.” Sean looked his love and gratitude.

“She’s being a brat,” Mack said. “I love the kid, but this is emotional blackmail, pure and simple. She couldn’t stop the divorce, and she’s been harboring a not-so-secret hope ever since then that you and Chris would get back together.”

Sean’s eyes widened as he gazed at his brother. “I didn’t know that!”

“You’re not the favorite uncle with whom she shares all her secrets,” Mack told him smugly. “I am!”

“Well you could have told me,” Sean said irritably, turning back to his breakfast.

“Oh right! And that’s **certainly** the way to hold the kid’s trust. Betray her deepest, most intimate secrets.”

Sean nodded. “OK. You’re right, of course.”

“I’m only telling you now because I thought you might need to know what’s at the root of the problem,” Mack said quietly. “But hell, Sean, every kid wishes for that when their parents divorce.”

“I didn’t!” Sean and Elijah both said at exactly the same time, then grinned at each other.

“Well, I did,” Mack said softly. “I figured that once she saw that it wasn’t going to happen, she’d get over it.”

“Hell, Chris wouldn’t have me back if I **DID** want that!” Sean said, tossing down his fork.

“But you **DON’T** want that… right?” Elijah said.

Sean turned to him, his mouth open in astonishment. Then he grimaced and shook his head, his expression telling Elijah more clearly than words that his question was just plain foolish. He turned to his brother. “I was hoping to see the girls this weekend,” Sean said. “But I won’t force Lizzy to come here.”

Mack sat his beer can on the table. “Listen, you two have waited years for this. Don’t let anything take it away from you. You deserve this happiness. And, frankly, I’m overjoyed that you both finally came to your senses.”

Elijah glanced protectively at Sean. “Well, Mack,” he said softly, “he did have a family to think of.”

Mack rolled his eyes. “I won’t even get into it. My brother’s tendency to sacrifice his own happiness in order to run for the title of: ‘World’s Only Perfect Human', has been thoroughly documented. Let’s move on. You two going to look for a place?”

“Yes,” Sean said. “We are. But only after we sign some kind of financial agreement.”

Mack squinted at Elijah. “That **YOUR** idea?”

Elijah scowled at him in response.

“Didn’t think so,” Mack said dryly. “I rest my case.”

Elijah heard his cell phone chiming from the bedroom and dashed to grab it. “Here we go,” he called over his shoulder. “The day’s officially started.”

Sean smiled after him as he left. And Mack reached out and covered Sean’s hand with his. “I’ve never seen you look happier.”

“I’ve never **BEEN** happier, Mack. It’s like a miracle. And you’re right. I should have done this a long time ago.”

Mack dismissed Sean’s statement with a wave of his hand. “You’re together now. That’s what counts. But why the financial agreement, Sean? Do you and Elijah really need that?”

“Mack, you know my financial situation. He’d give me everything if I didn’t have some checks and balances in place. I won’t take advantage of him.”

“When are you supposed to go back to work?”

“Season’s over ‘til fall. I’m due back in August for prep.”

Mackenzie nodded. “I suppose he’s swamped with offers,” he said nodding toward the bedroom where they could hear Elijah’s voice, talking on the phone.

“Yeah, but he refuses to consider any of them. He says he won’t work for a year. He wants us to have time together.” Sean shook his head.

“You have to talk him out of that, Sean. **YOU** can’t stop working for a year. And he should be taking a victory lap now.”

“I know, Mack. I know. But I want us to at least get settled before I start trying to manage his life.”

Mack rolled his eyes, and Sean laughed. “Elijah knows what he’s doing. I **WILL** encourage him to go back to work. I know how important it is. But… it’s also important that we be together.”

Mack nodded. “Guess it would be a bit of a bummer if he were forced to take off to god-knows-where on location before you’d even unpacked.”

“Exactly.”

Elijah wandered back to the kitchen, glaring at the cell phone he was holding in his hand. “Another script,” he muttered. “I swear I thought Martin was going to cry.”

Sean scowled and Mack shook his head and sighed. “I’m out of here,” he said, standing. “If you two need help with anything, let me know. And,” he said, turning to Sean, “if I can help with Liz, I will.”

“Thanks, Mack,” Sean said, standing to hug his brother.

Mackenzie hugged Sean, then turned to hug Elijah. “See ya, squirt,” he said, grinning. “Don’t let him be **TOO** perfect. Makes the rest of us look bad.”

“He can’t help it,” Elijah countered, smiling back at him. “He was born that way.”

“Oh my god,” Mack said, turning to walk through the utility room to the back door. “Being in love makes people positively batshit **crazy**!” And he was gone.

Sean and Elijah both laughed and Sean stood to start clearing the table. “He does have a point.”

Elijah gathered the rest of the dishes and followed Sean to the sink. “About us being batshit crazy?”

Sean sat his dishes in the sink, then took the rest from Elijah and added them to the pile. He sighed softly, gazing down at the dishes.

“See something in there?” Elijah asked.

Sean turned and took Elijah in his arms, gazing into his eyes.., His own countenance was filled with so much tenderness that Elijah’s breath caught in his throat. “You’re so beautiful,” Sean whispered. “So completely exquisite in every possible way. Not just your body. Not just your face. It’s everything. Everything about you is just so unutterably dear to me.”

Elijah closed his eyes, feeling them burning. “Sean,” he whispered. “Seanie…” He pressed his face to Sean’s t-shirt and drew a trembling breath.

Sean’s lips were nearly touching Elijah’s ear. “You need to start looking at some of these scripts, baby. You need to work.”

Elijah leaned back, words of protest forming on his lips. But Sean’s hand covered his mouth before he could speak, his other arm tightening to pull Elijah tight against him. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do. I’ll never do that. But, baby, this is a golden time for you. Right now you can have your pick. You can have the best of the best. That door won’t stay open forever. You know this business. Please,” he murmured, his voice low. “For me, Elijah. At least look at some of the scripts you’re being offered. I’ll look with you if you like. There might be an once-in-a-lifetime role among them. One you were born to portray.”

Elijah sighed. “I don’t want us to be separated,” he said quietly. “Sean, I was so lonely...” he drew an unsteady breath and didn’t finish.

“I was, too!” Sean said. “And I don’t want that either. But we don’t know that we would be separated! All I’m asking is that you don’t turn scripts down without at least reading them.” He lowered his head, and pressed his forehead to Elijah’s shoulder. “Lij, I’m going to have to go back to work. I can’t afford not to.” He looked up, gazing steadily into Elijah’s eyes. “You don’t want to sit around waiting for me to come home from the TV station. I know you don’t. You’ll be bored out of your skull. It’ll drain your spirit. You need to work, Lij. You know you do.”

Elijah looked into his eyes for a long moment then sighed again. “OK. I’ll have them send me the scripts they think are really good.”

Sean smiled and kissed him. “That’s all I ask.”

Elijah turned and walked toward the bedroom. “But I don’t like it!”

Sean watched him leave then sighed and turned back to the dishes. “Me either,” he muttered.

Once Elijah went back to work Sean knew he would become expendable in the eyes of everyone associated with Elijah’s professional life. In fact, he could easily be seen as an impediment to Elijah’s continued success. Sean Astin was a Hollywood brat. He knew this town. He knew the unwritten laws that governed working in show business. He knew there was a vast difference between the kind of treatment given an Oscar winning actor and that handed to a director of educational television. He also knew that living together as an openly gay couple could affect Elijah’s popularity at the box office. There would be enormous pressure on Elijah to terminate their relationship for the sake of his career.

But Sean had no choice. He had to encourage Elijah to do what he loved doing. Acting was in Elijah’s blood and had been since he was a child. He loved the craft. He loved both the technical aspects and the emotional landscape it allowed him to explore. It was Elijah’s passion, and Sean could not allow him to walk away from it at this, the peak of his professional life. To do so would be a betrayal.

Maybe it would cost him everything... even the cherished love that had come to him after so many years and so much loneliness. He would just have to have faith in their love for each other, and hope for the best.

TBC...


	2. Time After Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've settled into Sean's small apartment and are adjusting to their new life. But now come the complications: Sean's children, Elijah's career, financial decisions. Can they find the serenity they seek?

_Time after time  
I tell myself that I’m  
So lucky to be loving you _

_So lucky to be  
The one you run to see  
In the evening, when the day is through_

 _I only know what I know  
The passing years will show  
You’ve kept my love so young, so new_

 _And time after time  
You’ll hear me say that I’m  
So lucky to be loving you_

The weekend arrived too quickly. Sean had spoken to Chris and Ally, and had been assured by both of them that Elizabeth was coming over on Saturday with her two sisters. From all reports, she seemed to be, if not happy, at least resigned to the situation between her father and Elijah. Ally felt sure that she would eventually soften and accept Elijah as her father’s partner. They had planned a stay-at-home dinner, which Sean and Elijah were cooking, followed by movies.

Elijah changed clothes five times on the day of the girls’ visit. He continually ran to Sean to model different shirts, begging for opinions and suggestions. Sean had never seen him so nervous. “Will you relax!” he said finally, after approving shirt selection number four. “It’s not like you need their approval. You’ve got the job.”

“I want them to **LIKE** me!” Elijah moaned.

“Number one,” Sean said, dragging Elijah down to the couch beside him, “two-thirds of them **DO** like you! And number two, I doubt that the one-third who has her doubts will have them allayed because you’re wearing the striped shirt instead of the blue one.” He snuggled Elijah close. “I, on the other hand, am **VERY** susceptible to what you’re wearing. What ever happened to that little transparent number? You know. The one from that sexy picture?”

“ **SEAN!** ”

“Just asking!”

“This is **serious!** ” Elijah said, jumping up. He looked down at his clothing and frowned. “I don’t like this t-shirt. Too.. dark.” He stalked back to the bedroom and Sean quietly threw in the towel.

Chris drove Elizabeth and Isabella to the apartment. Ally was coming a bit later in her own car. Sean greeted Chris and the girls in the living room while Elijah hovered unobtrusively in the archway leading to the bedrooms, battling butterflies in his stomach that felt as huge as jumbo jets.

Isabella leaped onto Sean, squealing, and was spun and kissed exuberantly. Elizabeth’s greeting was more subdued, but her father welcomed her joyfully, lifting her up as he hugged her and kissed her cheek. He then turned to Chris and gave her a sedate hug. “Good to see you,” he told her, smiling. “Brought you something from Paris,” he said, pointing to a small package sitting on the end table.

“Sean, you didn’t have to!” she said beaming.. “Where’s…” she began, then stopped as she spotted him standing shyly in the doorway. She immediately left Sean and walked to Elijah. “Hey there!” she said brightly. “Good to see you, Lij!” She hugged him gently and whispered into his ear. “Courage, kiddo.”

Elijah returned her hug gratefully. “Chris, it really is good to see you.”

Chris leaned back, but kept both Elijah’s hands in hers. “I’m so glad you’re with him,” she said softly. “He needs you, Elijah.”

Elijah ducked his head, feeling hot tears burn his eyes. Then he lifted it and looked straight into Chris’s eyes, letting her see the emotion overflowing in his. ' _I owe her this,_ ' he thought. ‘ _This, and a lot more._ ’

“And I need **him** ,” he replied simply. “He’s my life.”

Chris nodded, as if satisfied, and tugged Elijah into the room by the hand. “Come say hello to your uncle Elijah,” she said to the girls. “He used to bounce you on his knee, Elizabeth. But I don’t believe he ever met you, Issy.”

Elijah half-stumbled forward, holding Chris’s hand. Sean moved to meet them with an arm around each of the girls. Isabella grinned up at him, looking so much like Sean that Elijah couldn’t help grinning back. “I just saw you at the Oscars!” she said excitedly. “You were **GREAT** in that movie. I saw it!”

“Thank you, Issy,” Elijah said, holding out his hand. “I’m glad you liked the movie. It was sort of a sad story though, don’t you think?”

“It was!” Isabella said. “Were you sad when you were making it?”

“At times,” Elijah said soberly. “They made me work so **HARD!** ” he whined, pulling a face. Issy laughed delightedly, and shook his hand.

Then Elijah turned to Elizabeth, who stood quietly at her father’s side. “Hello, Elizabeth,” he said softly, holding out his hand to her in turn. “You were just a baby when I saw you last. You were pretty then, but you’re beautiful now.”

“Thank you,” she said in a flat voice. She hesitated before taking Elijah’s hand, but after a glance at both her parents, shook it briefly.

Sean moved to the couch with the two girls, and Chris turned to go. “Are you dropping them, Sean? I can pick them up if you’d rather.”

“No. Lij and I will drop them off later,” Sean told her. “Chris? Thanks.”

Elijah went to her and took her hand. “Won’t you stay for dinner? It’s not much,” he said, “and Sean and I cooked it so you’d best beware, but you’re welcome to stay.”

“Thank you, Elijah, but I must run.” She threw Elizabeth a glance, then kissed Elijah’s cheek. “See you later. Girls? Mind your father!”

Elijah handed her the gift they'd brought her from Paris and walked her to the door. “Jesus Christ, Chris, I’m terrified,” he confessed. He could hear Sean chatting with the girls and wondered briefly if he was equally nervous.

“Elijah, don’t be,” Chris told him firmly, taking the package from his hands. “Teenagers smell fear. It’s power to them. She has to respect you so don’t let her do otherwise.” She patted his cheek. “It’ll all be fine,” she said. "Thank you for this," she indicated the package. "I'll open it later."

After Chris was gone, Elijah re-entered the living room. Sean and the girls were on the couch, chatting. Issy was doing most of the talking, but Sean’s arm was around both girls, giving each equal attention. Elijah fell into the recliner, determined that he would not be cowed before Sean’s teenaged daughters.

Isabella asked him about Paris, and he was telling her the many ways it differed from Los Angeles when he heard the front door open and a feminine voice called, “Daddy? Uncle Lijah?? Where is everyone?”

“In here, honey,” Sean called.

Ally burst into the room carrying a huge bag of books. Elijah rushed to take the bag, setting it on the floor. In the next instant he had an armful of Sean’s oldest daughter, who hugged him exuberantly, squealing at the top of her lungs. “Uncle Lijah!! Oh my god, I never thought I’d see you again! I’ve missed you!”

Elijah hugged her tight and kissed her forehead. “My god, girl. You’ve grown up. You’re so beautiful!”

“Remember when I used to say I was going to marry you because you were so cute?” Ally teased.

Elijah hugged her with one arm, leading her to the couch where Sean was getting to his feet to greet her. “What I remember,” Elijah said, laughing, “is that you could never decide between me and Dom! He wore your silver washer for years!”

“Uncle Dommie’s a dear,” she said, then whispered: “But he’s not as cute as you. And now daddy’s gone and beaten my time!” Stunned, Elijah stared at her, unable to think of a response. But Ally didn’t appear to need one. Laughing, she embraced her father. “Hi daddy! How’s things?” As she hugged Sean she waved at her two sisters. Isabella stood to hug her, but Elizabeth turned her head, ignoring them.

Elijah picked up her book bag and gasped at its weight. “My god! What are you studying? Brain surgery?”

“Maybe in a couple years,” she said. “Those are chemistry books. God, it’s fucki… er.. sorry, Pop. It’s incredibly hard.”

“Anyone ready to eat?” Sean asked. “Lij and I fixed a fancy dish straight from Paris. Had to go to the Louvre for the recipe.”

“Sean,” Elijah protested, laughing. “We fixed spaghetti,” he said to the girls. “And the recipe is your dad’s.”

“And how do **YOU** know I didn’t get it from the Louvre?” Sean said teasingly to Elijah, reaching out to poke his ribs.

“Good guess?” Elijah replied, poking back. “When do we do presents? After dinner?”

“Ooooo!” Ally cooed. “Presents?”

“Presents!” Isabella chirped. “Oh, daddy! What did you bring me?”

“A pony,” Sean said seriously. “Had a bit of trouble getting it in my suitcase, so we stuffed it in Uncle Elijah’s trunk. It wasn’t bad ‘til the pony pooped and **THEN** all the people on the airplane started to complain! We had to drop it off with a parachute. I felt so sad,” he said, wiping his eyes. “Uncle Elijah actually cried.”

“Daddy!” Issy said reproachfully, walking into the dining room. “You’re so silly!”

“I’ll show you the trunk later,” Sean told her. “You could **FIT** a pony in that thing. Darn near broke Uncle Dommie’s back.” He bent and whispered to Isabella. “You can still smell the pony poop.”

Elijah followed them with Ally, both of them laughing at Sean’s antics, his arm around her waist. “It’s just so good to see you, honey. Thank you for your support. It means so much to both of us.”

“He’s been so lonely, Uncle Elijah,” she said too quietly for Sean to hear. “I’ve been worried about him.”

“He won’t be lonely anymore,” he said firmly, holding out her chair so she could sit. “I promise you.”

He heard a soft inhalation, and turned to see Elizabeth staring at him, evidently overhearing his remark to Ally. Elijah felt his stomach sink, but not knowing what else to do he turned and held out Elizabeth’s chair too. “Here you go, Elizabeth,” he said quietly. She took her seat without comment and sat staring at her plate.

Elijah walked to the island where Sean was dishing out spaghetti. “Oh god, Sean,” he murmured.

“What?” Sean said, alarmed by the tone of his voice. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Elijah said. “Just- just – nothing. I’m just nervous.”

Sean smiled at him. “Don’t be. I think it’s going great!” He started to wrap his arm around Elijah who jumped back, wide-eyed. Sean frowned. “What’s this?” he asked, obviously hurt. “Don’t **act** like that.”

“Sean, it’s just that Elizabeth…” he shook his head. “Let’s just eat. Please, Sean. We can talk later.” He quickly grabbed two plates of spaghetti and walked to the table, setting them in front of the girls. Sean followed him, carrying the rest of the plates.

Elizabeth was silent for most of the meal, only responding when Sean addressed her directly. Elijah was quiet as well. He was realizing with every passing minute how out of his element he was in dealing with Sean’s children. He silently blessed Ally and Isabella for their cheerful, animated chatter.

He caught Sean glancing at him several times, a look of undisguised worry on his face, and tried to reassure him with a smile. But Elijah’s heart felt like lead in his chest. He felt afraid even to smile too lovingly in Sean’s direction, worried that Elizabeth would see it and be more put off.

After dinner, Elijah and Ally cleared the table and filled the dishwasher while Sean took the younger girls into the living room. Ally chattered happily as they worked, and Elijah tried to respond in kind, but his heart wasn’t in it. When they finished, they joined the others.

“Time for presents!” Sean announced. Ally and Isabella cheered, and even Elizabeth smiled. “Lij?” Sean said. “Come help me?”

Once they were in the bedroom with the door closed, Sean turned to him. “What’s wrong? Did Lizzy say something to you?”

“No, no,” Elijah said. “I’m sorry, Sean. She overheard me saying something to Ally.”

“What did you say?”

Elijah sat on the bed, feeling miserable. “Ally said that you had been lonely, and I promised her that you’d never be lonely again.”

Relieved, Sean sat down beside him and took his hand. “And that’s what you’re worried about?”

“She looked at me like I was…,” he hesitated. “…an abomination.”

Sean gasped and grabbed Elijah’s arms. “Don’t **EVER** say that again. Don’t ever use that word again! We are not anything of the kind!” He took Elijah’s face between his hands and gazed into his eyes for a long moment. Then he kissed him tenderly. “Elizabeth will get over it,” he said finally. “Or she won’t. I’m beginning to think that Mack was right.”

“Sean, she’s just a kid. She’s had her mind poisoned by others. We just have to give it time.”

Sean snorted. “I’ll give her ‘time’ alright. Time grounded in her bedroom. And Chris will totally support me.” He stood and gathered up the gifts they’d bought for the girls. “I want to know at once if she ever treats you disrespectfully. You hear?”

“Yes, daddy,” Elijah said, grinning. “I feel better now. I’m sorry for being such a drama queen.”

“Let’s go play Santa,” Sean said, heading for the door.

They had bought each of the girls beautiful shawls and matching blouses, hand-made of finest Parisian silk. All three girls squealed their happiness and Sean, sitting on the couch surrounded by his lovely daughters, beamed.

Elijah laughed from the recliner, thinking that maybe things would be all right after all. After kissing Sean in thanks, Ally and Isabella ran to kiss his cheek as well. But Elizabeth turned to her father. “Thanks, daddy.”

“Thank Uncle Elijah too,” Sean said, smiling. “They’re from him as well.”

Elizabeth mumbled something under her breath and Sean leaned closer to her. “What did you say?” he asked, tipping her chin up so he could hear her.

“I said he’s **not** my uncle,” Elizabeth replied in a flat voice.

Sean frowned and started to speak, but Elijah quickly interrupted. “She’s right, Sean.” He turned to her and smiled. “Elizabeth, you’re right that I’m not your uncle. Please just call me Elijah if you like that better.”

“What I’d _**like**_ is for you to go back to Paris and leave my dad alone,” she said with bitter sarcasm.

Ally and Isabella both gasped in shock, but Sean’s voice was the crack of a whip. “ **ELIZABETH!** ” he said instantly. “Shame on you! Apologize to Elijah at once!”

“I won’t!” she said defiantly. “My grammie told me about the two of you. What you are! It’s disgusting! Make him go away!” She pointed at Elijah. “I hate him!”

Sean got to his feet and stood over her silently. For a moment her eyes met his defiantly, then they slowly dropped before her father’s gaze. After a long moment, he spoke. His voice was low and perfectly calm. “Elizabeth, there is no possible excuse for your behavior. Your grandmother is wrong in the things she told you. Wrong to think that way. Wrong to speak that way. Elijah is part of my life now, and yours. You will apologize to him this instant or…”

“Sean!” Elijah blurted. “Wait! Please, wait!”

Sean turned to him, his eyes filled with pain. Elijah got up and went to him. “ _Don’t_ ,” he begged in a low whisper. “Please don’t give her an ultimatum. Just take her home.” He saw tears glistening in Sean’s eyes, and reached up to touch his cheek. ' _Elizabeth or no Elizabeth,_ ' he thought heatedly. ' _He needs to feel my touch._ '

“Ally,” Sean said in a hoarse voice. “Will you take your sisters home for me please? And tell your mother that I’ll call her later tonight? There are certain matters that she and I need to discuss.” As he spoke, he looked again at his middle daughter, but Elizabeth’s eyes remained lowered.

“Of course, daddy,” Ally said, glaring at Elizabeth. “Issy, get your things.” She walked to Sean and whispered into his ear before kissing his cheek, then she said softly to Elijah, “I’m sorry.”

Elijah shook his head. “It’s OK, Ally.”

Isabella hugged her father then turned to Elijah. Her wide eyes and trembling hands made Elijah’s heart ache. He hugged her tight and whispered. “I’ll show you the pony-poop trunk next time you visit.”

“OK,” she said, then glared rebelliously at Elizabeth. “OK, **UNCLE** Elijah.”

Elijah stifled a smile, but Sean’s face remained a mask. He stared coldly at Elizabeth as she left the apartment, then collapsed slowly onto the couch and laid his head back against it, staring at the ceiling. “Jesus H. Christ,” he moaned softly.

Elijah sat next to him and reached, hesitantly, to touch his arm. “Sean? I’m so sorry.”

Sean shook his head and sighed, misery etched across every feature. Elijah pressed his face to Sean’s arm. “Oh, Seanie, please don’t. It’ll be OK. I can’t bear to see you sad.”

Sean’s head slowly turned to gaze at him. “ **YOU’RE** sorry? You’ve done nothing to be sorry **FOR**. It’s **ME** who’s sorry. I dragged you into all this. You had a peaceful, happy life and I…”

“Just wait a fucking minute,” Elijah interrupted. “Stop right there.” He wrapped both arms around Sean, holding him close. “I wouldn’t change a thing!” Elijah whispered fiercely. “Not a fucking thing!”

Sean sighed, but Elijah tipped his face up and forced him to meet his eyes. “Are you saying you’re sorry we're together simply because we now have to deal with a confused teenager? You're upset, Sean. You're not thinking straight. My life in Paris may have been peaceful, but it was a far cry from ‘ _happy_ ’. You _know_ that!”

Sean smiled at him. “I know,” he whispered. He fingered Elizabeth’s shawl and blouse, which she had left behind. “Jesus,” he muttered sadly.

“Don’t feel too badly, Seanie,” Elijah said firmly. “We knew something like this might happen. So, OK. It happened. It’s out now. She hates me. We just have to see where it goes from here. This isn’t over. We’ll work on it! She **CAN’T** hate me forever! I’m too fucking…,” he rolled his eyes, floundering, searching for a word.

“Hot?” Sean offered helpfully, wrapping Elijah in his arms.

Elijah laughed. “Some say I am. Some say I ain’t.”

“Irresistible?” Sean asked, nuzzling his throat. He closed his eyes, wishing he could dissolve into Elijah’s body.. be inhaled into it.. be completely immersed in that place where pain and sadness couldn’t touch him.

“To **YOU** maybe,” Elijah said, melting into Sean’s embrace.

“Beautiful beyond the power of words to describe?” Sean breathed against his ear. He was trembling, and Elijah blocked out everything except the sensation of their bodies pressed tightly together..

“Sean,” Elijah whispered, his hands moving to clasp Sean’s face gently. He kissed his cheeks, and pressed soft kisses to his eyelids. His heart ached for the pain he knew Sean was feeling, and he yearned to somehow make it better for him. To soothe his heart. To ease his mind. “I love you,” Elijah said. “That’s all that matters. That’s all that matters, Sean.”

“I know,” Sean moaned. He lifted his head and dragged Elijah’s lips to his, kissing him passionately, a deep and all-consuming hunger flooding his body. For long, sweet moments they kissed with desperate longing, gasping for breath at those brief moments when they allowed their lips to part. Elizabeth’s disapproval had only served to reinforce the love they felt for each other. And they kissed now as though they could never get enough.

“Wanna… ,” Sean stammered, then gasped as Elijah’s lips crushed down on his again. “Wanna check out the skylight?” he whispered when their lips finally parted. Sean tightened his arms, pulling Elijah even closer, his whole being aching with the need to hold and caress him.

“You and that fucking skylight!” Elijah growled, pushing himself up from the couch. He took Sean’s hand to pull him to his feet, and together they staggered to the bedroom. Twice Sean stopped along the way and pressed Elijah against the wall, kissing him again and again, molding their bodies together.

“Oh,” Sean moaned. “Oh god.” He felt Elijah’s cock against his thigh. The hardness of his arousal took Sean’s breath, and he slid his hands under Elijah’s t-shirt, wildly caressing his chest and sides. “Hurry, baby!” he moaned urgently, gently pushing Elijah toward the bedroom. “God, please hurry!”

They stumbled into the bedroom, tearing at each other’s clothes… at their own clothes… at anything that kept skin from sliding against skin. Finally naked, they fell onto their bed clutching each other close, moaning, their senses reeling.

Elijah’s skin was incredibly hot and smooth. Sean’s tongue traced a wet line from his throat down to his navel, whimpering as the taste of Elijah’s skin filled his mouth and mind, driving him wild with need. He licked down the length of Elijah’s hard erection, then moved lower yet, licking his balls and flicking his tongue against the smooth skin just behind them.

He clasped Elijah’s round, firm buttocks in both hands, lifting them so his lips could find the opening there, licking it, whimpering as he heard Elijah’s moans grow louder… more high-pitched and frenzied.

“Now!” Sean growled. “God, Elijah! Now!” He sat up abruptly, reaching blindly toward the bedside table for the small tube he knew was in the drawer. He smeared them both with the slippery substance as Elijah clawed at him.

“Take me!” Elijah begged. “Oh god, Sean, don’t wait! Do it now!” He lifted his hips, his hands guiding Sean to the opening of his body.

Sean moaned and pressed hard against his lover’s body. He sheathed himself in Elijah until he was enveloped completely. Gasping with white hot desire, Sean withdrew slowly then thrust deep inside him again, feeling Elijah take all of him. With a wild cry of pleasure, Sean thrust again… then again.

Elijah’s arms clutched Sean’s body, straining to keep them as close as possible. And as Sean thrust deep into him, their lips met, crushed together with a fierce and savage passion.

Sean’s hand reached between them and grasped Elijah’s full, pulsing cock. As his hips rocked, merging their bodies, he stroked Elijah’s hard erection, his hand moving faster as the passion mounted higher… the pleasure almost beyond bearing.

Sean gave a great cry and pressed into Elijah with all his strength as he came. Lightning bolts of raw pleasure wracked him again and again. Moaning in ecstatic agony, he lifted his head and stared down at his lover. Elijah’s face was beautiful. His brow and hair were wet with sweat, his face twisted with tortured desire, his eyes were dark, and his lips were wet and swollen. The sight of Elijah’s face as he writhed in passion was enough to make Sean come again, his body shuddering violently.

Then Sean heard Elijah cry out and felt him convulse into a chain of spasms as he came, wildly, explosively, spilling himself over Sean’s hand.

“Oh my god!” Elijah moaned. “Oh my fucking god!” His arms tightened, clutching Sean’s body to his own. He gasped repeatedly as the pleasure took his breath.

Sean, still buried in Elijah’s body, pressed his face to his lover’s throat, feeling that he trembled on the very edge of infinity. He was lost to himself, aware of nothing outside the merging of their bodies. They were one, and that joining was Sean’s whole existence. He sighed into it, feeling peace seep into his veins like a drug.

“God,” he moaned, “if we could just stay like this!” He felt Elijah sigh as he combed his fingers through Sean’s damp curls.

“Well, I’m certainly for it,” he murmured. “Though it might make dinner with the folks a bit awkward.”

Sean tried not to laugh, but failed. “I say something that romantic and schmaltzy and you joke?”

“I do,” Elijah confessed. “I felt a laugh was needed, big guy. You disagree?”

Sean lifted his head and looked down on the face he adored. “No. I don’t disagree. It WAS needed.” He snuggled against Elijah once again, his lips brushing Elijah’s throat, feeling Elijah’s slender fingers trailing up and down his spine, teasing the cleft of his ass.

“But,” Sean murmured, “this IS good!”

“This is way beyond good,” Elijah said.

“Mmmmm…” Sean moaned softly. “Yesssss, way beyond good.” He nestled closer, feeling himself drifting toward sleep still buried, half-erect, inside Elijah’s body. Groggily, he wondered if perhaps he should force himself to wake up and move so that Elijah could breathe more easily. And as he was thinking this… he drifted off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He awoke the next morning to Elijah’s voice. “Seanie? Wake up! Chris is on the phone!”

“Oh! God. OK, babe.” He sat up, instinctively fumbling for the phone, then saw Elijah was holding it out to him. “Thanks.” He took it and held it to his ear, then grabbed Elijah’s hand and pulled him down to the bed beside him. “Hi, Chris,” he said.

“Oh god, you’re right. I did tell Ally I was going to call you last night. I’m so sorry. But I was – ummm I got…,” He glanced at Elijah who was grinning expectantly, obviously waiting to hear what excuse he was going to offer. “Ermm.. I just couldn’t talk about it last night. I am sorry, Chris.”

Elijah listened intently to Sean’s side of the conversation.

“I know, Chris. I know. I was just about to deliver an ultimatum when Elijah stopped me. Was Elizabeth upset last night?” Sean listened for a moment, then laughed softly. “Well, bless her. She’s a good kid.” He listened for another moment. “Chris, I know that Lizzy’s a good kid too. Neither of us said even one unkind word to her.” Another moment of silence. “All I said was that her behavior was shameful and she had to apologize, which she didn’t do.”

Sean listened for a long moment, nodding his head, then sighed. “Well, I tend to agree. There’s not much else we can do. She’ll have to come to it on her own.” He listened for another moment then: “OK, Chris. Thanks for touching base with me. If there’s anything I can do or that you need, please call me. OK. Bye-bye.”

He hung up then handed Elijah the phone and ran his fingers through his hair. “I gather that Issy took Elizabeth to the cleaners last night. She was really pissed!”

“Poor kid,” Elijah murmured. “She has to feel as though everyone’s against her.”

“She has to learn, Elijah,” Sean said quietly. “You can’t just go around judging people that way… hurting them that way. It’s wrong. That’s not how she was raised. Thank god, Chris is in total agreement with me. Liz is grounded for the foreseeable future.”

“That’ll just make her hate me more,” Elijah muttered.

“She has to take responsibility for her actions. It’s not about you. What she did last night in our home was inexcusable. Nothing could justify it. And she has to learn that such behavior comes with a price.”

Elijah stood. “I agree. But I would have preferred it if she hadn’t had to learn it from **US**!”

Sean sat on the side of the bed, fishing on the floor for his discarded briefs. “Where the hell did I throw those damn things?” he grumbled. “When I lived by myself I never had **ANY** trouble finding my underwear.”

Elijah, dressed only in jeans, flipped Sean’s briefs to him with his toe. “There! I found your skivvies so stop your whining.”

Sean slid into his underwear, then donned his sweats and followed Elijah to the kitchen. As they walked, he reached out to trail his fingertips down Elijah’s naked spine. “You seem to have a bit of a limp this morning, sweetie.” he said slyly.

Elijah wheeled and leapt up into Sean’s arms, his legs tight around Sean’s waist. Sean laughed and staggered, trying to balance them both.

“ **YOU’RE** the reason I’m limping, _**BIG**_ guy,” he grumbled, then grinned. “And such behavior, so I’m told by an authority on the subject, comes with a price. You now get to carry me to the fucking kitchen.”

Sean groaned softly, then hefted Elijah to settle him more firmly in his arms. “Cheap at twice the price,” he muttered, stumbling toward the kitchen door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They had an appointment with Sean’s lawyer that afternoon to discuss the financial agreement, and had arranged to meet Dom for lunch beforehand. He arrived at the restaurant before they did, and eagerly waved them to the table. “Guess what!” he said, smacking the tabletop with his hand.

“Well, tell us!” Sean said.

“I finally reached Ian! And he’s tremendously excited about the Fellowship reunion. We’ve actually started to discuss dates! Do you two have anything pending?”

Sean and Elijah looked at each other, then shook their heads. “Sean goes back to work in a month or so, and I’ve been preventing my agent from committing suicide by looking over a few scripts, but nothing major is pending. Just let us know in plenty of time.”

“Oh, Martin won’t commit suicide,” Dom said, waving his hand dismissively. “He just likes to whine.”

“Nevertheless,” Elijah said, “I’m probably going to go back to work too, once I find a script I like.”

They gave the waiter their order, then Sean asked Dom, “What about Orlando?”

Dom shrugged. “That high and mighty bastard? Haven’t heard from him yet.”

“Dom!” Elijah said, laughing. “Orli’s not like that.”

“OH yes, Orli is,” Sean said. “You won an Oscar and managed to stay level headed. All he did was get nominated, and he’s been a vain little stinker ever since.”

“Ahhh,” Dom said. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll find him. And when I do he won’t give me any guff or I’ll kick his weenie ass.” He glanced at the briefcase lying next to Sean. “What are you two up to today?”

Sean and Elijah exchanged a glance, and Elijah grinned. “Meeting his lawyer about the financial agreement.”

Dom shook his head. “Are you serious, Sean?”

“Yes!” Sean said. “We’re going to be sharing property. We need things spelled out.”

“Afraid he’ll steal the silverware, huh?” Dom whispered conspiratorially to Sean. “Can’t say I blame you. He’s a pretty shady fucking character.”

Sean simply scowled, but Elijah laughed out loud. “Yeah, he’s afraid I’ll walk off with that recliner of his, so he’s making me do a pre-nup.”

Dom looked incredulously at Elijah, then turned back to Sean. “Are you two thinking of getting married?”

“ **NO**!” Sean shot back, and Elijah’s giggle, which to Dom’s ears hadn’t changed one iota in fifteen years, rose high above all other noises in the restaurant.

“Did you **HEAR** that?” Elijah asked, still laughing. “He doesn’t want to marry me!”

“Oh my god,” Sean moaned. “I should know better than to have this kind of conversation with the two of you, especially in public.”

“Well, I think you **SHOULD** get married,” Dom said, gulping thirstily at an ebony-hued beer he’d ordered from the bar. “Set a good example for other Hollywood gay couples.”

“But Sean doesn’t think he’s gay,” Elijah commented, still grinning.

“Oh yeah?” Dom replied. “What **DOES** he think is going on in this relationship of yours?”

Sean blushed furiously and looked somewhat pleadingly at Elijah, who giggled again. “OK, OK. We’ve teased him enough.”

They ate lunch, talking nonstop, and before they parted, Dom had gotten their promise to help him coordinate the Fellowship reunion. It would be months before all their schedules allowed them to be in the same place at the same time. But Dom was optimistic and promised to reach Orlando sometime before he saw them again.

Elijah was visibly nervous as they walked into the lawyer’s plush outer offices. He fidgeted as Sean spoke to the secretary and Sean felt his hand clutch the hem of his jacket as they walked in and took their seats. Sean quickly introduced Elijah to his lawyer. “Lij, this is Andrew Bronner, my attorney. Andy, Elijah Wood.”

Elijah held out his hand, and received a quick but firm handshake. “Good to meet you, Elijah. Heard a lot about you.”

The agreement, once it was spelled out, was fairly straightforward, though Elijah found the language a bit daunting. He read it over cautiously: _“This separation agreement, in plain text, is a simple financial agreement between two homosexual males who have been living in a de facto relationship as defined in the Property (Relationships) Act of 1984 who have separated and ceased cohabitation in the State of California and want to finally divide property without Local or Supreme Court orders.”_ He slowly lowered the paper and turned his bewildered face to Sean.

“Elijah,” Andrew explained, “this contract simply states how property which is common, or owned by both of you, will be divided in the event that you terminate your relationship.” He pointed out the various percentages, all numbers which Elijah and Sean had already agreed upon, and explained how things would work should the contract ever have to be invoked.

“Do you want to have your attorney look this over, Elijah?” Andrew asked.

“No!” Elijah replied, handing the contract back to him. “No, not at all. I don’t really want this in the first place, but Sean insisted.”

Andrew smiled. “I know. He told me. He’s trying to protect your interests, Elijah.” He then turned to Sean and pulled out another sheaf of papers. “Do you want to sign the will at the same time, Sean?”

“Will?” Elijah said, startled. “ **WILL**?” He looked at Sean, his eyes wide. “ _What_ will?”

“I had Andrew draw up a new will for me,” Sean said quietly. “Since we’re together now, I want to be sure that you're protected in case I – well, in case of… oh, hell, you know what I’m trying to say.”

Elijah stared at him for a long moment, then sighed. “I hate all of this! First we’re talking about our relationship being terminated... now we’re talking about **YOU** being terminated! I want this to end.”

Andrew smiled and leaned toward Elijah. “The will is the same as his previous will, Elijah, except that it now stipulates that you will inherit any property or possessions owned jointly by the two of you. It’s a sensible precaution.”

Elijah nodded tightly. “OK. I understand. But, can we just sign where we have to sign and be done with it?”

Without speaking, Sean signed the papers where Andrew indicated, then he handed Elijah the pen and smiled at him. Elijah paused, his hand poised over the papers. ‘Sean? Are you **SURE** we need to do this?”

Sean nodded. He pointed to the line awaiting Elijah’s signature, and watched as he signed. Elijah’s hand was shaking as he scrawled his name on the dotted line and as soon as he’d finished he threw the pen to the desk and stood. “Can we go now, Sean?”

Sean nodded, and after shaking hands with Andrew, he took Elijah’s arm and guided him out of the office. He could feel Elijah trembling beneath his fingers. “Lij?” he asked, tightening his grip. “You OK?”

“Fuck **NO** , I’m not OK!” Elijah said pulling his arm away from Sean’s fingers. “Jesus, Sean!”

“OK. OK,” Sean said quietly. “Let’s just go home. It’s over now.”

Elijah stalked off ahead of him. “It’s fuckin’ depressing!” He didn’t slow down until they’d reached the street and were walking toward their car. “That’s it!” he said, adamantly. “I’m done with the legal stuff. From this point forward we’re just going to have to trust each other.”

“Lij,” Sean said pleadingly, pulling on his sleeve. “It’s not **ABOUT** me not trusting you, or you not trusting **ME**! It’s about legal protection for both of us!”

Elijah wheeled and moved to within an inch of Sean’s face. His voice shook as he spoke. “If I thought for one fucking minute I needed to be protected from you… do you really think I’d **BE** here?”

Sean’s face paled. He’d never seen Elijah like this before. He tried to speak, but couldn’t, and now it was _his_ hand that trembled. “Lij,” he finally choked out. “Please don’t be angry. I’m not trying to hurt us. I’m trying to protect us from unfair laws that offer little or no protection to gay partnerships.”

Elijah fell forward into his arms, oblivious of the fact that they were on a public street in downtown Beverly Hills. “I know,” he sighed “I’m not mad at you. I’m just upset. I don't like having to think about such things.”

“Let’s go home,” Sean murmured, then took a quick look around. “Before we get arrested.”

Elijah leaned back and stared at him in disbelief. “This is Beverly Hills, Sean. We could probably fuck on the sidewalk and not get arrested.”

“True, but irrelevant, since I have no such intentions.” He looked into Elijah's eyes. “You’re **SURE** you’re not mad at me?”

“I’m sure,” Elijah said, walking to the car. “Let’s go home.”

“You scared the shit out of Andrew,” Sean said, chuckling as he climbed behind the wheel.

“I’ll apologize another time,” Elijah told him. “But for now, let’s get the hell out of here.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Paris house was very nearly closed. Elijah had been in constant touch with Gabrielle, making decisions about what he wanted to leave behind and what he wanted shipped to California. Clearly, his furniture wouldn’t fit into Sean’s apartment, so Elijah began to make enquiries about storage space. Gabrielle was eager to begin her new life in America, but Elijah asked her to postpone her plans until their situation was a bit more settled.

They’d looked at a few homes, but found nothing to their liking, as the houses were either too small, too big, or too close to the city. And though Sean’s apartment was adequate for their current needs, it wasn’t what they wanted for the future.

Sean had taken the apartment after the divorce with barely a glance at the design and no thought whatsoever about its location. At that point in his life, he hadn’t really cared. He’d just wanted a place to sleep. The years he spent living there had been, for the most part, sad and lonely ones. Now, he craved something with more light, more openness, more room to stretch out. He would not be unhappy to leave it behind.

They saw Ally and Isabella almost every weekend. Elizabeth had been ungrounded, though her comings and goings were still restricted. She was not speaking to her father, a situation that nearly broke Sean’s heart. But he did not know how to approach her without surrendering. He would not have her at the apartment unless she apologized and agreed to treat Elijah with respect, and Chris had informed Sean that she refused to do either.

Elijah begged Sean to take her out to dinner alone and talk with her. He knew that not seeing Elizabeth was hurting him terribly, and he hoped that an evening alone together would give them time to talk, and possibly repair their relationship. Eventually Sean agreed.

He had arranged to pick her up at six. They were going to have dinner at a quiet restaurant not far from Chris’s house. Sean could not believe his nervousness. He paced the bedroom like a caged tiger, glancing at the clock every ten seconds while Elijah sat on the bed watching him, not knowing whether to laugh or weep.

“Sean, for god’s sake, sit down a minute. You’re not being presented at court, this is your **KID** for fuck’s sake!”

“I know. But you know how things have been. And I don’t have a good feeling about tonight.”

“Chris said Lizzy was agreeable to going out with you. And you know she’s missed you. Chris said she’s been miserable.”

“Yeah, she agreed. As long as **YOU** weren’t coming.”

Elijah sighed. “Well, yeah. That is a bit discouraging. But, maybe tonight will help. Sit down a minute!” he said, holding out his hand.

Sean took his hand and sat next to him. Then he wrapped an arm around Elijah and pulled him close. “Thank you for being so wonderful about all this. I know it has to hurt you.”

“I feel bad for you, baby. I know how much you love her. But, I do agree that we can’t condone her behavior. It would just make things worse later on.”

Sean nuzzled his cheek, then kissed it.

“You going to take her Paris gift to her?” Elijah asked, stroking his hair.

“No,” Sean told him, leaning back. “She has to come here to get that gift. And she has to apologize to you. End of story.”

“OK. Whatever you say.”

“Time to go,” Sean said, and stood up. “I won’t be late, babe.” He grabbed his jacket and walked toward the door, with Elijah following.

“See you when you get home,” he said, kissing Sean’s cheek at the door. “Be safe.” He sighed as he watched Sean walk to the car, then ambled back to the living room and picked up the script that he’d been reading. This one was, at least, holding his interest. He often couldn’t believe the incredibly bad scripts that his agents foisted on him. He settled in the recliner, his favorite chair, and began to read.

Sean had been gone about a half hour when the phone rang. Elijah felt a surge of alarm as he reached to grab the receiver, hoping that it wasn’t Sean reporting bad news. He glanced at the caller ID and grinned. Viggo!

“Mortensen, you slimy mother fucker!” Elijah said. “What the **HELL** have you been up to and why haven’t we seen you?”

“Hey, Hobbit,” Viggo drawled in that unmistakable voice. “How are you and Samwise doing? I’ve been meaning to call you two for a get together. How’s Sean? How are things going?”

Elijah laughed. “They’re going great, Vigs. I’ve never been happier. Sean’s having a bit of trouble with Elizabeth, though. She’s not taking to our situation too well, but he’s having dinner with her tonight, so maybe it’ll start to get better.”

“I heard about Elizabeth. I’m sorry, buddy. That has to hurt Sean. I know how he is about those girls.”

“It breaks my heart to see him this sad. Worst part is how helpless I am to do anything to help. How did you hear about it?”

“Dom. He’s been driving me crazy about this Fellowship reunion stuff. He told me about Elizabeth. Actually, he told me something else too, and that’s the reason for my call tonight… that and to say ‘Hi’ to you.”

“What’s that?” Elijah asked, sprawling in the recliner again, throwing one leg over an arm of the chair.

“Dom said you two were looking for a place.”

“We are! Sean’s apartment is nice, but it’s just not big enough. I’ve got stuff coming from Paris, including a housekeeper. We need something bigger, and, hopefully, further away from the city.”

“Buddy, do I have a house for you! It’s out here in Topanga Canyon not too far from where I live. It would be perfect for you two. Hell, it’s even got a nice guest house for your housekeeper.”

“No shit, Vigs! When can we see it?” He felt his heart skip a beat with excitement. Topanga Canyon was the closest thing to ‘rural’ that Los Angeles had to offer.

“Hell, you can see it tomorrow if you like. I’ll meet you guys there. I’ve got the key. The house belongs to a friend of mine who wants to sell it quickly.”

“Give me the address, Vigs,” Elijah said, rising to grab a pen.

Viggo gave him the address, which he wrote on the back of the script. They chatted for another few minutes and said goodbye, promising to see each other the next day.

Elijah hung the phone up and leapt into the air. “ **YES**!” he yelped. This was exactly the kind of place they needed - plenty of room and out in the country, which is where Sean and Elijah both yearned to live.

He tried to go back to his script, but he was just too excited. He called Dom and chatted for a bit, then alternately tried to read, and ran to gawk out the window looking for Sean’s car until, finally, he saw his headlights pull up outside.

Elijah jerked open the door as Sean walked up. “Well?” he asked. “How was it?”

Sean shrugged and silently passed him, only stopping when he reached the couch. Then he slowly turned and looked at Elijah. “Well,” he said, sighing. “It was… OK.”

“Doesn’t sound all that good,” Elijah said, hoping he didn’t look as disappointed as he felt.

“She – I mean we – we had a good talk,” Sean said. “And I guess it’s better than it was before. No, it **IS** better than it was before. But…” he glanced at Elijah, his handsome face troubled. “But she still doesn’t want to come over.”

Elijah went to him quickly, his heart aching. He knew that Sean would never abandon him because of Elizabeth’s resistance. But he also knew that Sean adored his daughters and saw his role as ‘father’ as one of the most important in his life. The soft hazel eyes he adored were shiny with tears and Elijah had to fight off a quick surge of anger toward Elizabeth for hurting Sean this way.

He wrapped his arms around Sean’s neck and was quickly embraced. He felt Sean trembling as he pressed his face against Elijah’s shoulder. “Jesus, I’m sorry, Seanie,” Elijah whispered.

Sean leaned back and they gazed into each other’s eyes until they could no longer bear the emotion. Then Sean bent and kissed him softly, tenderly. “Thank you,” he whispered, his voice shaking. “I love you so much.”

Elijah felt his eyes burn. “I love you, too,” he said. “I never stopped loving you. I don’t think I ever could. Sean, I’m so sorry. I feel… responsible.”

“But you’re **NOT**!” Sean declared vehemently. “God, you’re **NOT**! Please don’t think that. This will pass, Elijah. She’s a kid and thinks like a kid. I won’t give in to this. Mack was right. It’s emotional blackmail. I won’t ever give you up again. I surrendered my life with you once for my children’s sake. I won’t do it again.”

He embraced Elijah, rocking him against his body, nuzzling his neck. Elijah thought how many times he’d been in this man’s arms. How many times he’d felt the gentle rocking motion that was an integral part of Sean’s embrace. And how this embrace, more than anything else in his life, freed him from fear and soothed away sorrow. He only prayed that his did the same for Sean.

“I wish I could tell you,” Elijah whispered. “I wish I could tell you how good it feels when you hold me. It’s the best feeling in the world.”

Sean kissed his cheek, then breathed against his ear, “Feels the same way to me.”

Elijah smiled and nodded, then remembrance came to him like a thunderbolt. He leaned back from their embrace, eyes wide. “Oh my god, Sean! Viggo!”

Alarmed, Sean asked, “What? What about him? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong! He thinks he’s found us a house! Out in Topanga Canyon. We can go see it tomorrow!” He laughed aloud as he saw the patented ‘Astin grin’ spread slowly over Sean’s face.

“Oh my god, that’s **GREAT**! Sean exclaimed, grinning.

Elijah kissed him with hungry passion, then they walked together to the bedroom. Elijah kicked his shoes off and sprawled on the bed, and Sean immediately lay down beside him and swept Elijah into his arms. For a long time they held each other close, kissing with a seemingly endless need.

After awhile, Elijah felt the trembling in Sean’s body cease as he relaxed in his arms. Sean licked his way slowly across Elijah’s lower lip with eyes closed, as though he was memorizing its lush curve. “Have I mentioned lately how much I love you?” Sean finally whispered.

“You have,” Elijah replied. "But I don't mind hearing it again." He yearned to make love… to feel Sean’s naked body pressed hard to his, but he knew instinctively that tonight Sean simply needed to be close to him.

Resting in his arms, Sean felt light-headed with the emotion that flooded through him. It wasn’t desire that left him giddy, or even the grief he’d felt when his daughter refused to come to his home. Instead, he was overcome with gratitude. The healing that came to him when their bodies were close restored his faith and left him confident that all would turn out right.


	3. Time After Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The problems with Sean's daughter continue, Elijah can no longer stand to see Sean in pain, and a house becomes a home.

The next day, Elijah was up practically before dawn. He was beside himself with excitement and yearned to shake Sean awake, but remembering that Sean hadn’t been sleeping all that well lately, he managed to restrain himself. The moment Sean’s eyes peeped open, however, Elijah pounced on him. “Get up! You’ve slept forever! We go see our house today!”

Yawning, Sean gazed lovingly at the vibrant dynamo seated next to him shaking his shoulder. “What time are we meeting Viggo?” he asked sleepily.

“Around 1:00.”

“Jesus, Elijah. It’s only 10:00 AM!” Sean batted Elijah’s hand away and rolled over. “Call me in an hour,” he muttered.

“No! Wake up! You have to get up and keep me company. I’m going fucking nuts with this waiting.” He pulled on Sean’s shoulder and turned him around to face him. “Please, Sean? Wake up? I’m wigging out here.”

“Elijah, you don’t even know if we’ll like this place.”

“Sean I just **KNOW** we will! I just feel it. From what Viggo said, it’s perfect for us.”

Sean rolled his eyes and sighed in resignation. “Oh, good grief,” he said finally, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “Fine. I’m up. Call Vigs and see if we can meet him earlier. Tell him I’m afraid you’re gonna lose your fucking mind if we wait ‘til one.”

Elijah bolted from the room to get his phone.

“Won’t be far from the truth,” Sean said with a wry chuckle, stumbling toward the shower.

Viggo was standing at the end of a long driveway when they pulled up to the address he’d given them. They got out of the car and ran to meet their friend. After many hugs and kisses, and a long ‘hello’, Viggo pointed up the driveway. “Let’s walk up,” he said. “I want you to see the approach to the house.”

As they walked up the sloping driveway, they could see the white house nestled on a gentle hill, behind a lovely walled in garden. “It’s beautiful,” Sean said.

“It’ll appeal to the ‘Sam’ in you,” Viggo said, nudging Sean with his elbow.

  


  
  
  
  
| They took a long walk through the grounds, and were instantly in love. The setting was lovely. The house was surrounded with trees and boasted a fantastic view of green hills.   
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Viggo led Sean and Elijah to the front door, which he opened. They were both wide-eyed as they walked inside and began to explore. The house was large, with four bedrooms, a fabulous open great room, oak floors, oak beams overhead, and a wide fireplace.  


  
  
  
  
  
|    
  
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There was a spacious dining room, kitchen, and breakfast nook.  


  
  
  
  
  
|    
  
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There were four buildings outside.

  
  
  
  
| A studio which Sean mentally appropriated for his office.  
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| A pool, of course.  
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In addition there was a large guest house, a pool house which contained a small kitchen and a sauna, and a detached garage.  


  
  
  
  
  
  
| The master bedroom was huge, with windows on every wall and a door leading to a private patio that included a huge tree surrounded by a brick enclosure. The house looked enormously comfortable, very rural, and totally beautiful.   
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Sean stood in the center of the huge great room, looking up at the beautiful oak ceiling beams. Like the master bedroom, the walls in this room were filled with windows that offered a spectacular view of the trees covering the property and the hills beyond. It felt almost like being outside, for light seemed to flow into every corner of the room.

“Jesus, Lij,” he breathed. “It already feels like home.”

That was all Elijah needed to hear. He turned to Viggo immediately. “When can we move in?” he blurted.

“How much does it cost?” Sean said more practically from behind him.

“It’s 3 million… give or take a few hundred thousand,” Viggo told them.

Elijah moaned softly. His heart sank when Viggo told them the price, for he feared that Sean would not go for something that expensive.

“That’s cheap for a place like this!” Sean said, astounded.

Elijah wheeled to look at him, and the joy that lit his face nearly took Sean’s breath. His smile was luminous, and his beautiful heart-shaped face seemed to glow as he gazed at Sean with wide-eyed elation. It was clear that this house had very quickly captured his heart. It was also clear that he'd had very real doubts that Sean would be willing to take on this kind of financial burden.

And at that moment Sean vowed that no matter what the cost, he would get this house for Elijah. He would make this their home. A feeling of destiny surrounded their visit here, as though this place had always been theirs and had only been waiting for them to arrive. He embraced Elijah and whispered, “We’ll do it. This is our home. I can feel how right it is.”

Viggo smiled, and wandered off to give them a few minutes alone. He couldn’t have been happier. The artist in him felt the perfect symmetry that was created by the two of them and this house. It was a superb setting in which to live out their life together. It was perfect for them. It was perfect for Sean’s girls. It was simply… perfect. Plus he would now have Sean and Elijah as neighbors and that also delighted his heart.

They rejoined him in a few minutes, both smiling happily. “How soon can we make this happen, Vigs?” Sean asked him.

“Well, I’ll call Paul today and see when he can meet with you and I’ll give you a ring after I talk to him. I’m sure there’ll be bank stuff you’ll have to attend to anyway… right?”

Sean and Elijah looked at each other. “I guess so,” Sean said. “I have a bit of figuring to do, but that’s probably not going to take long.”

“Will you need to talk to Andrew?” Elijah asked quietly.

“Well, probably,” Sean told him hesitantly. “We’ll need some kind of…” He glanced at Elijah and saw that his brow was furrowing “OK, Lij. Maybe the agreement we already signed will cover this. Let me check it out.” He sighed and looked away.

“What’s this?” Viggo asked, noticing the change in both of them.

“Oh, him and his fucking financial agreements!” Elijah said, irritably.

“It’s only sense, Elijah,” Viggo said. “This is a huge purchase. It’s good to have the financial arrangement between you spelled out.”

“But it’s like conceding that we’re going to split up!” Elijah said, moving away from Sean to stand by the window. “Like we’re giving up before we even begin!”

“No it isn’t!” Viggo said firmly. “It’s not conceding that you are going to split up. It’s conceding that you love each other enough to protect each other’s interests in case something dire should happen to one of you! I know that’s not something you like to think about, Elijah. No one does. But it’s the wise move.” Viggo leaned toward Elijah, a twinkle in his eye. “It’s the mature move, Elijah.”

Elijah gave him a sour look, then looked at Sean, who was standing with his hands stuffed into his jean pockets, studying the floor. His baseball cap was tilted at a rakish angle. Suddenly he glanced up and met Elijah’s eyes, looking like a bashful 12 year old who had just been caught stealing a cookie. He was sweet, totally adorable, and Elijah’s heart melted on the spot. He walked to him quickly and straightened the baseball cap. Then he captured Sean’s face between his hands and kissed his lips softly. He felt Sean’s hands cover his and his eyes closed.

“OK,” he said softly, stepping back, a high flush on his cheeks. “I guess I’ve been over-reacting to the financial stuff. I just want it to be OK if I kick in a little more from time to time. I mean I’ve GOT a little more right now. It may not always be that way.”

Sean studied him for a moment, then he grinned at Viggo and shrugged. “What can I say?” he asked happily. “I’m a kept man.”

“If you want my opinion,” Viggo replied dryly, “you’ll earn every dime of it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

They spent the next hour or so wandering from room to room, talking about where certain items of furniture would go, savoring the thought that this would soon be their home. But eventually the afternoon shadows began to grow long, and they had to go.

“God, I hate to leave,” Elijah said, standing in the driveway looking up at the house.

“Soon we won’t have to,” Sean said, taking his hand and tugging him toward the car.

They parted with Viggo after making him promise over and over to call them the minute he heard from the house’s owner. “Will you two relax?” he said finally. “I’m telling you, he wants to sell the place, and it’s not even on the market yet, so relax.”

“You’ll call!” Elijah said, backing away from him toward the car. “Call right away!”

“Elijah,” Viggo growled, then waved at them and climbed into his car.

Sean steadied him and gently turned him toward the passenger door. “You’re about to fall on your ass, Doodle. Watch what you’re doing.”

“God, I’m going to be a wreck until we hear,” Elijah said, after climbing into their car.

“Uh oh,” Sean muttered. “It’s Crazy Hobbit time.”

“Oh, stop that,” Elijah said, poking him. “You can’t wait either.”

Sean agreed that this was true, and they drove away happily discussing the home they prayed would soon be theirs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the way home, Sean talked a bit more about his meeting with his troubled middle daughter. “She’s confused,” he sighed, gripping the steering wheel tightly. “She misses me, that much is certain. But she’s still got her grandmother’s voice in her ear.” Even in profile, Elijah could see the sadness in his face, and his stomach twisted with resentment. A resentment that he tried not to focus on Elizabeth.

“Did you talk to her about us?” Elijah asked. “Did you tell her that we stayed apart for ten years so you could center your life on your children?”

“It’s not that, baby. She just thinks that being homosexual is wrong. That’s what she’s been told. There are a **lot** of feelings mixed up inside her. Anger about the divorce. Probably a bit of jealousy. Hell, just being twelve years old! You remember how it was.”

Elijah sighed. “I understand, Sean. But, frankly, I’d like to punch Chris’s mother right in the nose.”

“So would Chris. But that’s beside the point now. We have to deal with the situation. I’ll see Lizzy now and then. I have to, Elijah.”

“Of course you do!”

“I won’t force her to come around us if she’s uncomfortable with the idea. Though,” Sean said softly, “it does break my heart.”

“Sean,” Elijah said, taking his hand. “She’ll come around. We just have to be patient and give it time.”

“I tried to talk to her about us. Told her I’d answer any questions she had about it as honestly as I could. But,” he shrugged, “she didn’t want to ask me anything. Said it was embarrassing.”

“Well, I know it would embarrass the hell out of **me** ,” Elijah said, squeezing Sean’s hand.

They laughed, and for the rest of the drive home they chatted about the house and their hopes for their future there. But Elijah had an idea germinating in his mind, one that he wouldn’t share with Sean. He felt he had to talk to Elizabeth himself. Try to make her understand how he felt about her father. It might not help, and Elijah had to admit to himself that it might even hurt the situation. But he knew he had to try.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once home, they tried to relax into their routine. Sean was busy preparing for the September launch of several new shows he was directing on educational TV. The biggest of these was an ongoing, and very popular, historical series called ‘ _In the Light of Truth_ ’ that he'd directed for several years. History had been one of Sean’s majors in college, and it was still a subject he loved.

The series involved using on-scene filming, digital effects technology, and dramatizations to re-create momentous events in world history. He had been going through video for weeks as he worked with the editor to put the shows together, and was close to being finished. Now he sat on the couch studying an editing schedule and making notes.

Elijah sat in the recliner and tried valiantly to read through a script taken from the ever- growing, ‘ **MUST READ** ’ pile that had been sent over by his agents.

Neither of them had much success at focusing. They jumped out of their skin anytime the phone rang, praying it was Viggo, and Elijah finally gave up and began to pace.

“Why doesn’t he call?” he stormed as he stalked around the room. Sean looked up from his notebook and sighed.

“Babe, he’ll call as soon as he has word. Maybe the guy was out or something when he tried to reach him.”

“But what if the guy found someone ELSE who wants the place? What if he sells it to THEM? What if he…”

Sean had been watching for an opportunity. He had set his notebook aside and when the right moment came, he reached out quickly and took Elijah's hand as he strode by. “Will you please relax?” he begged. “You’re going to drive yourself nuts…... and me right along with you.”

Elijah sighed and flopped down next to Sean, who leaned close to kiss him. At that moment the phone rang and Elijah leapt from his arms to grab it. He took one quick look at the caller ID, then turned to Sean, his sapphire eyes wide and glowing. “It’s VIGGO!”

“Hello! Hey, man!” he said excitedly. “Tell me! I’ve been going nuts here!”

There was a silence, during which Sean leaned forward eagerly, watching Elijah’s face for any clue it might give as to what Viggo was saying. It gave none. His expression didn’t change one iota and Sean felt a sick fear twist its way into his stomach.

“Lij?” he asked softly.

“OK, buddy,” Elijah said into the receiver. “Yes. I am. We’ll call you soon.” He hung up and turned to Sean, his expression sober.

“WHAT?” Sean exclaimed, hands extended pleadingly. “What did he say? Is it bad news?”

Elijah knelt in front of him and rested his elbows on Sean’s knees. His fingers twined into Sean’s curls and he leaned toward him, gazing into his eyes. Sean was just about to erupt into a yelp of frustration when Elijah’s face broke into a brilliant smile. “It’s ours,” he said softly. “ _Ours_ , Sean. We can close anytime.”

For a long time they stayed close in each other’s arms, without speaking a word. What was there to say? After fifteen years of waiting and loneliness, at last they would have a home.

Sean turned his head to kiss Elijah’s cheek and was not surprised to discover that it was damp, since his own eyes were bright with tears. “God, Lij,” he whispered. “I can hardly believe it.”

“Viggo said the owner would call tomorrow and we’ll set up a time to close.” He leaned back and looked at Sean. “Vigs sounded so happy for us.”

“He’s a good guy,” Sean murmured. His lips slid down Elijah’s cheek to his throat. “Mmmm,” Sean moaned softly. “Sweet. So sweet.” He licked behind Elijah’s ear and smiled in satisfaction when he heard a soft whimper. His heart was thudding in his chest, and his breath began to quicken.

Nothing… nothing in his life had ever affected him the way making love to Elijah affected him. It was more than a physical attraction. Even more than the overwhelming love he felt with his every breath, he had finally found sustenance for the emptiness within. For years that emptiness had driven him... yearning for fulfillment yet not knowing what was needed to nurture that dry and thirsting portion of his soul. He now, at last, had found wholeness.

All that he had ever sought was his when Elijah was in his arms. And though his logical mind fought against such romantic notions, a deeper, wiser part of him smiled in recognition each time they embraced. Knowing it had found all that it needed. Knowing that this is what would finally bring him to peace.

“Never let you go,” he whispered. “Never, ever again.” His arms tightened around Elijah, holding him fast. His lips slid to the curve of Elijah’s neck, kissing, licking… nibbling, feeling his desire redouble as the taste of Elijah’s skin flowed onto his tongue, filling his senses. His body had changed much in the past ten years. He wasn’t the slight, sylphlike boy Sean had fallen so desperately in love with fifteen years ago. He was a strong, well-muscled man now. And yet, so much remained the same. Still… the same moonlight washed skin, silken smooth. Still… the full, sensual lips that Sean adored. Still… the kisses that devastated.

He heard Elijah gasp and then moan, and he stood quickly, helping Elijah to his feet. They walked to their bedroom, hand in hand. And though each of them hungered for the other, they didn’t rush. They knew that there was no need to hurry. Nothing threatened them now. Time was no longer their enemy. They stripped off their clothes between kisses, and fell into bed.

It was night. Leaves brushed against the glass of their skylight caressing it with gentle fingers, and between the branches the moon and stars glistened against the darkness. Sean clasped Elijah’s naked body to his, feeling his yearning to possess mount ever higher, becoming unendurable. He found the lube and quickly spread it on them both, and slid into Elijah’s warmth in one long, slow thrust. He felt the scrape of Elijah’s bitten-off nails on his back and smiled, thinking to himself that **some** things about his lover had not changed in the intervening years. Then he heard the harsh rush of Elijah’s breath and forgot everything except the bliss of their joining.

Again and again he withdrew slowly, and then sank into him. Elijah arched his body willingly, moaning, crying Sean’s name with every thrust. And though Sean tried to make it last… tried to move slowly, the passion rising in him finally overcame his gentleness, and he plunged harder… deeper… filling Elijah completely. “Mine,” he growled with each slamming thrust. “You’re mine.”

“Yes,” Elijah whispered hoarsely. “Yours… Sean… Seanie.. yours.”

For a frantic few moments they were both consumed by their hunger, arching and colliding in perfect rhythm. Sean’s hand reached to stroke Elijah’s hard erection, and he heard him crying out between agonized gasps, “Now, Sean! Do… it… now! God!”

Sean pressed his sweat-covered face to Elijah’s neck, his hips moved in small circles as he pressed deep into Elijah’s body. And when he climaxed, it seemed to come from the depths of his soul. “I love you,” he cried. “Oh god, Elijah, I love you so much!”

He felt as though he was both exploding into a thousand pieces, and being made utterly and magically whole. He clenched again and again deep inside Elijah’s body as the exquisite pleasure wracked him, feeling his lover spending himself into his hand with an uninhibited cry of joy.

He felt Elijah’s arms wind tight around his neck. He was breathing in ragged gasps as he pressed Sean’s face against his chest and murmured his name.

“Seanie,” he whispered. “Seanie, my god, that was fucking incredible.”

Sean kissed the sweat-dampened skin under his lips, then licked slowly around the base of Elijah’s throat as he relaxed against him. “Jesus, I know,” he murmured. “I don’t want to move. I want to stay inside you forever.” Elijah’s only answer was to tighten his arms around Sean’s broad shoulders and hold him closer.

He lifted his head and gazed into Elijah’s eyes. They glowed silvery in the moonlight illuminating their room from above. His lips were swollen and Sean bent to capture them, this time with infinite tenderness. “You looked ravaged,” he whispered.

Elijah took a deep, shivering breath, then laughed softly. “You have only yourself to blame,” he whispered back.

Sean slowly eased away, sliding out of Elijah’s body to lie beside him. “Suppose we should shower,” he murmured. “Though god knows I’d rather just go to sleep.”

“Up,” Elijah told him, tugging on Sean’s hand as he rose from their bed. “C’mon, duffus. Let’s shower, then we’ll sleep.”

Sean watched him as he walked into their bathroom. The sight of his rounded buttocks as he walked away was enough to convince Sean. “Hold on,” he said, rising to follow him. “I’m right behind you.”

From the bathroom he heard Elijah’s voice: “So to speak…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They met with Viggo and Paul, the homeowner, the next day. Elijah could barely contain his excitement, but Sean managed to stay focused on financial considerations. He made arrangements for them to meet at his lawyer’s office the following day to sign papers. Then he and Elijah both visited their respective banks to draw checks to pay for the house.

Sean found he was able to contribute more than he’d originally thought. His portion came to nearly a third. “That’s what I get for having a good investment counselor,” he told Elijah, showing him the check.

“Whatever the reason,” Elijah told him, handing the check back. “I’m glad. I hope this doesn’t leave you broke, though.”

Sean shook his head. “No. I wouldn’t do that. It’s a healthy percentage of my liquid assets, but it’s also a sound investment. We could sell that place tomorrow and make money.”

“But we won’t!” Elijah said.

“I hope we live there for the rest of our lives,” Sean told him happily.

They signed the papers the following day, though they would not actually be able to move into the house for at least two weeks while the owner removed the last of his possessions. As they shook hands, Paul promised to move as quickly as he could.

“I know you’re anxious to move in,” he told Sean. “I’ll do my best to be out before the two weeks is up, then you get the keys.”

Elijah had not been surprised to learn they couldn’t take immediate possession of the house, but he was still hugely disappointed. Sean draped an arm around his neck, clutching the papers in his other hand as they rode down in the elevator, “Hey, the house is ours. And we have to pack up **OUR** place before we can move anywhere. Two weeks is probably optimistic.”

“I’ll be packed in an hour,” Elijah assured him.

Sean rolled his eyes. “You leaving all our dishes behind?”

Elijah grinned and nuzzled his cheek. “Just pack the lube and your sexy underwear and I’ll have all I need.”

Sean blushed and shoved him gently. “You’d better phone Gabby and give her a time frame.”

Elijah nodded and smiled. He’d be happy to see Gabrielle. He’d also be happy to have some of the things he loved - but had left behind him in Paris - back in his home again.

The following day Sean left early. He was headed to the TV station to meet with his editor, leaving Elijah alone for most of the day. Elijah decided to seize this opportunity, and as soon as Sean left, he phoned Christine.

“Hey, Chris.”

“Elijah! Hi! What’s up?”

“Chris, I’d like to talk to Elizabeth. I want to meet her face to face and talk with her. Maybe I can convince her to give us a chance.”

There was a long silence… then: “Does Sean know what you’re planning to do?”

“No. I want to do it on my own. God, Chris, he’s so unhappy about all this! And I feel horrible about it. I feel responsible. I just thought maybe if I could speak to her…”

“Elijah…” she hesitated again. “Elijah, I don’t like doing this without Sean’s knowledge.”

“I know,” Elijah told her. “I know it could backfire. But I feel as though I must at least try. Please, Chris. You can be there so she’ll feel more comfortable.”

There was a long silence, then a sigh. “Alright, Elijah. When do you want to do this?”

“Would today work? Sean’s at the TV station. Is Elizabeth around?”

“She’ll be home in about an hour. Come on over. I have no idea how this is going to turn out, but if you want to try to talk to her, I’ll help you.”

“Chris, you’re an angel. God, I can’t tell you how much this means to me.”

Elijah gave himself a pep talk all the way to Christine’s house. “She’s a kid,” he said. “I can handle her. I love her father. I can make her see that he’s happy with me.” But in spite of his self-encouragement, his hands were shaking when he knocked at Christine’s door.

She smiled as she escorted him into the living room. “Braving the lion in her den, huh?” she said.. “I still say Sean may have ten kinds of fits that we did this.”

“He’ll forgive me,” Elijah said with quiet conviction. “Chris, I can’t just sit by and see him this unhappy and do nothing. I have to try.”

They chatted about mutual friends while they waited for Elizabeth to show up, and then Elijah mentioned the scripts he’d been reading. “There’s one that looks interesting,” Elijah told her. “It’s a story about John Hersey, who was an writer and journalist during World War II.”

“He won the Pulitzer for ‘A Bell for Adano’,” she commented. “The man had a fascinating life.”

Elijah laughed. “I forget that you have the same college degrees that Sean does. Might know you’d know who he was. But, yeah, the script is a good one. One of the few good ones I’ve run across lately. I’m going to talk to the producers next week.” He started to speak again, then he heard a door open and Elizabeth’s voice called out: ‘Hey, mom! I’m home!”

“Hi, honey!” Chris replied. “Please come in the living room and sit down.”

The twelve year old walked into the living room, and immediately threw her mother a look of shocked betrayal when she saw Elijah seated on the couch.

“Hello Elizabeth,” Elijah said quietly.

“Mom!” Elizabeth said, obviously angry.

“Sit down!” Chris snapped. Her daughter sat. “Elijah asked for permission to speak to you. I expect you to listen courteously to what he has to say. Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Elizabeth said. Her tone of voice was subdued, but her eyes blazed with anger.

Chris rose from her seat and said to Elijah. “I’ll leave you to it.”

Elijah’s eyes widened. “You’re not staying?”

“Nope,” Chris told him, moving toward the kitchen. “You’re on your own.” She tossed him a grin and a thumbs-up as she walked out of the room.

Elijah swallowed hard and turned to Sean’s daughter who was seated in a chair across from him, her eyes on the floor.

“Elizabeth, please forgive me if this seems like entrapment. But it was very important to me that I have this chance to speak to you alone.”

Elizabeth did not so much as look at him, and Elijah’s heart fell. _‘She’s sure got her father’s stubborn streak,’_ he thought.

“It breaks your father’s heart that you won’t come to our home,” he went on. “And now that we’re buying a beautiful house in the canyon, it will be especially hard on him if you’re not there to share it with us.”

She threw him a quick glance. “House in the canyon?” she asked.

“Yes. You’re finding out before anyone else. It’s a beautiful place out in Topanga Canyon. We signed the papers yesterday. Lots of light. Lots of room for you and your sisters.”

Elizabeth sighed and squirmed on the chair. She glanced at Elijah again. “My Grammie said…” she began softly.

“Elizabeth, listen to me,” Elijah interrupted. “I refuse to say anything against your grandmother. She has her beliefs, and I respect that. I think she’s wrong in what she said, but I won’t disrespect the lady.”

Elizabeth stared straight ahead. “He’d come back to my mom if you weren’t around,” she said in a voice filled with sadness.

“Elizabeth, he wouldn’t!” Elijah said, almost desperately. “Your mom doesn’t want him back. She’s the one who asked for the divorce!” The moment the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them. He sounded defensive, and he knew instinctively that this had been the wrong tactic.

“Because she knew he wanted **YOU**!” Elizabeth suddenly raged, rising from the chair. “I won’t talk to you anymore,” she told him, beginning to cry. “I don’t **CARE** if I get grounded.”

Elijah looked up to see Chris quickly re-entering the room. She threw Elijah a sorrowful look, and guided Elizabeth toward the door. “Go up to your room,” she said quietly to her daughter. “We’ll discuss all of this later.”

Elijah sank back on the couch, feeling his own eyes burning. _’What is WRONG with me?’ he thought. ‘I’ve only made things worse!’_

Chris sat down beside him and patted his arm. “Teenage angst,” she said calmly. “Elijah, don’t let this upset you too much. I’ll discuss it with her and try to make her understand that you are not what stands between Sean and me reconciling.” Then she sighed. “Though, in a way, I’ll be lying when I say it.”

“Chris,” Elijah said sadly. “For any wrong I may have done you, god, I am so sorry.”

“That’s not what I meant, Elijah,” she said, mildly. “Matters of the heart aren’t under one’s control. You can’t help whom you fall in love with. And Sean fell in love with you a long, long time ago. He was miserable when you two were apart. Miserable and terribly lonely.”

“Thank you, Chris,” Elijah said. “I apologize if I put you on the spot.” Then he sighed. “God, I wanted to…” he whispered, his voice trailing off.

“Be the hero who made everything all better for him?” she said, smiling.

“Yeah, I guess so,” Elijah said dejectedly.

“But Elijah,” Chris said softly, “don’t you know? You’ve already done precisely that.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sean came home somewhat later than expected. He walked through the kitchen glancing around to see if Elijah had started dinner and seeing nothing on the stove, continued into the living room. “Elijah!” he called. “I’m home, babe. Sorry to be late but I…”

He stopped in mid sentence. Elijah was sprawled in the recliner with a look of abject misery on his face. Sean stood in stunned silence for a moment, almost afraid to speak. “Elijah?” he said finally.

“I have something to tell you,” Elijah said unhappily.

Sean quickly knelt at his feet and took his hands. “What’s wrong? What is it?”

Elijah explained quietly what had happened between Elizabeth and him. Sean asked a few questions, but for the most part let Elijah tell him about the meeting without interruption.

“And that’s it,” Elijah said finally, looking down at the floor. “I know I fucked up. I don’t blame you if you’re angry with me. I wanted to help… but I know now that I should have stayed out of it.”

After a long moment of silence he glanced up to see Sean staring hard at him. Anger would have been far better than Sean’s look of pain and disappointment. “Why didn’t you let me handle it, Elijah? **Why**?” He sighed and stood up.

“Sean, I’m sorry! I was honestly trying to help.” He stood too, and started to move toward Sean, who raised a hand to stop him.

“I know, Elijah. I’m not angry. Not really. But,” he sighed again, “I wanted the focus to be on Chris and me, not on Elizabeth and you. She barely knows you, and now she sees you as being against her in a situation that’s deeply personal to her.”

“But, Sean…” Elijah began.

“I know she’s wrong, Elijah,” he said, in a voice thin with weariness. “I know you’re not against her. But she’s twelve years old and the divorce broke her heart. She’s not thinking like an adult. I tried hard not to give her any excuse to single you out as her enemy. And now you’ve handed it to her and there’s not one damn thing I can do about it.”

Sighing, he turned and began to walk toward the bedroom, his broad shoulders sagging. “I’m tired, Lij. We can talk more about this tomorrow.”

Elijah stood in the center of the living room watching Sean’s back disappear down the hall. His eyes burned with tears, but he was determined not to break down. He clenched his fists to try to still the trembling in his hands and slowly followed Sean down the hall.

By the time he reached their bedroom, Sean was already undressing. He turned away and climbed into bed without a word while Elijah undressed, and he appeared to be well on his way to sleep before Elijah crawled into bed.

Feeling lost and totally alone, Elijah turned onto his side and stared despondently at the wall. Never had they fallen asleep like this. Always at night they held each other close, even if during sleep they twisted in opposite directions. He drew in a breath, thinking he would turn to Sean and say something, but heard his soft, even breathing, and decided against it.

Elijah was famous for being able to sleep anytime… anyplace. But not tonight. Tonight he lay on his side staring at the clock as he counted the passing hours ‘til dawn.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sean wasn’t in bed when Elijah awoke, though he heard him moving about in the kitchen. He rose quickly and padded down the hall. Sean, wearing cut-off shorts and a ripped t-shirt, was standing at the sink pouring orange juice into two glasses.

Elijah stood hesitantly in the doorway, not knowing what to say or do. He felt a wave of uncertainty wash over him. Never before had he felt unsure of his welcome with Sean, and feeling that way now nearly broke his heart. He turned away despondently , but before he could leave Sean looked up and saw him.

“Hey,” he said softly. “You’re up I see. Juice?” he offered, lifting the juice carton toward Elijah.

“Yeah, I’d like some. Thanks.” Elijah remained in the doorway, staring down at the floor.

“Elijah?” Sean said.

Elijah looked up to see Sean watching him. His face was devoid of expression. “Yeah?”

Sean crooked a finger at Elijah, beckoning. “C’mere?” he asked softly.

Elijah moved toward him like a man walking through water, slow-limbed and tentative. When he reached Sean’s side there was a small half-smile touching the corners of his lips. Sean sat the juice down and slowly slid his arms around Elijah’s waist. His head dropped until his forehead rested on Elijah’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he murmured.

“For what?” Elijah replied, winding his arms around Sean’s neck, feeling weak-kneed with relief.

“For being pissy last night. You were only trying to help,” he said softly. “Something you have every right to do as my partner.” He glanced at Elijah and smiled sheepishly. “I guess I’ve gotten too used to being a loner.”

“I’m not used to being anyone’s partner either,” Elijah told him. “We’re both learning, Sean. And I suspect we’re both going to make mistakes along the way. I **was** trying to help, but I should have discussed it with you first. So, fine. We both fucked up. That doesn’t bother me as long as we can both just say we screwed up and move on.”

“Did you have any doubts that we would?” Sean asked. “Forgive each other and move on, I mean?”

“Not really, no. Last night felt pretty fucking bad though.”

Sean pulled him closer. “I’m sorry, baby,” he said again.

“Me too,” Elijah whispered. He felt Sean’s lips moving against his neck… behind his ear. His knees went even weaker, though not with relief. “You know just which spots to go for, don’t you,” he murmured.

“Who me?” Sean replied, then pulled on the collar of Elijah’s t-shirt to nibble gently at the curve of his neck. He moaned softly, licking that same sensitive spot, torturing the soft skin with his tongue.

Elijah shivered and gasped, his body catching fire under Sean’s lips. “Yes, you,” he murmured. “Jesus, Sean.”

Sean raised his head. He pressed Elijah’s body against his own, feeling the hardness of Elijah’s arousal against his thigh. “It’s early yet,” he whispered. “Let’s go back to bed.”

“God, yes,” Elijah moaned.

They moved quickly to their bedroom.


	4. Time After Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At last they're able to move into the house in Topanga Canyon, but new challenges await them there. Sean gets a very scary idea, and both he and Elijah get new jobs.

Once the keys to the house were in their hands, the routine of their lives quickly changed from fairly peaceful to full-fledged chaos. Elijah’s belongings and furnishings had begun to arrive from Paris, and were being taken to the new house where they sat in disarray in whatever room the movers found convenient. Sean and Elijah, helped occasionally by Dom or Ally, packed up the contents of their apartment.

Elijah was frantic to get into the house but his always-conservative partner wasn’t willing to make the final move until their belongings were there and in some kind of reasonable order, a process which Elijah feared would take months.

“Jesus, Sean!” he griped as they wrapped and packed dishes in corrugated cardboard boxes. “Can’t I **HIRE** someone to do this?”

“Sure!” Sean said amiably. “You can hire **ME**!” He bounced to where Elijah stood with a plate in his hand. “Can I help you pack that plate, sir?” He took it from Elijah’s hand and sat it on top of all the others. “That’ll be one kiss,” he announced, and quickly kissed Elijah’s frowning mouth.

“Very funny, Astin.”

“Lij, hiring someone would be foolish. We have the time. We have the talent! Why not just do it ourselves? This is important to me. I want **US** to be the ones who move us into our first home.”

Elijah grumbled unintelligibly as he grabbed another stack of china from the cupboard.

“Besides,” Sean added softly. “I have to watch money for awhile. This house took a huge chunk of my liquid assets and I won’t start getting a paycheck ‘til September.”

Elijah still grumbled. “You could let **ME** pay for it, you know.”

“One more day,” Sean said reasonably. “Let’s keep at it one more day. Then if we’re still behind, you can hire someone to do the rest.”

Elijah scowled, obviously unconvinced. But he continued putting plates into a box.

Eventually, everything was packed and moved to the Topanga Canyon house. Sean’s bed, outfitted with a brand new mattress, went into the guesthouse to be used by Gabrielle. Elijah’s bedroom furniture from the Paris house had been set up in the master bedroom. Once the beds were in place, nothing on earth was going to keep Elijah from considering their move complete.

“We’re staying here tonight,” he badgered Sean for the fifteenth time as they shuffled furniture between rooms. “Right, Sean? Right?”

Sean gazed at him over the top of an oak coffee table. Elijah’s eyes were shining with happiness. A crooked grin lit his face. Sean felt his chest constrict with love. This had been his goal, to share this moment with him. To see him this happy. He had longed with all his soul for this alone: to give this kind of joy to the one he loved and had waited for. He grinned back. “Well, since our bed is here,” he said teasingly, “I can’t see that we have much choice. Uh.. unless you want to go back to the apartment and sleep on the kitchen counter.”

“Fuckin’ A!” Elijah shouted happily, stumbling and nearly dropping his end of the burden in his happiness.

“Whoa, there Elwood!” Sean laughed, struggling to hold up his end of the heavy table. “Let’s get this thing moved and **THEN** you can celebrate.”

Later that night they lay naked in bed together talking quietly in the dim lamplight. An open bottle of champagne sat on their bedside table with two half-empty glasses next to it.

The windows were open and a soft breeze wafted through the room, carrying the scent of new mown grasses and honeysuckle from their private patio. They both wanted light and air to fill their bedroom and had agreed that their bedroom curtains would be of the softest, most diaphanous material possible. They had picked out white La Scala silk, which now floated softly inward on the gentle wind.

Elijah sat straddling Sean’s hips smiling down at him as Sean’s huge hands moved slowly up and down the length of Elijah’s thighs.

“You’ve changed so much,” Sean murmured, sensuously sliding his palms against the firm muscles. “You were so tiny when we first met, like a bird. Now, look at you.”

“We taking a walk down memory lane tonight?” Elijah asked, grinning, his hands gently cradling Sean’s ribcage. “That was fifteen years ago, Sean. You’ve changed too, you know.” He smiled and slid his hands slowly up Sean’s chest until they covered both pectorals then just as slowly slid them back. “There’s a bit of grey in those chest hairs, Astin,” Elijah observed mildly.

“There’s a bit of grey in other places too,” Sean replied, his eyes closed in pleasure.

“Oh, yeah?” Elijah said, his grin broadening. “I hadn’t noticed.” He looked pointedly down to where their genitals lay resting, half-erect, against Sean’s abdomen.

“I meant the hair on my **HEAD** , duffus!” Sean said with a soft smile. He grasped Elijah’s hips, letting his thumb slide softly over the inked skin of his tattoo. “Ever thought about having that removed?”

“Nah! Why would I?”

Sean shrugged. “So it wouldn’t… remind you?” he replied hesitantly.

Elijah smiled and leaned forward until he was lying full length on top of Sean, touching toes to chest. “I **wanted** to remember,” Elijah whispered. “I wanted to think of it every single day. I couldn’t bear to lose even one moment no matter how much the memory hurt me.”

Sean’s arms tightened around Elijah’s back and their lips met in a long, intoxicating kiss that left them both trembling. Elijah sucked in a quick breath as the burgeoning hardness of his erection rubbed seductively against Sean’s. He heard Sean whimper as he arched like a cat to meet Elijah’s body.

Elijah rocked against him, his hips moving in slow, insistent circles as their lips merged in a long, lingering kiss. “I love you,” Elijah whispered against Sean’s mouth. “I love you so much.” His tongue slid against Sean’s in a soft, wet caress.

Sean moaned again and again as they rocked together in a rhythmic swaying motion. Mindlessly, he lifted his hips to Elijah’s thrusting body, overwhelmed by desire. “Closer,” he whimpered. “Jesus, Elijah… closer. More.. oh god, don’t stop!”

“Never,” Elijah panted. “Never fucking stop. Never!” His body writhed against Sean’s, crying out now with each rhythmic push. He clenched his teeth as he felt Sean’s body begin to tense and his own climax building… becoming all consuming… taking his mind, his body, all that he was. “Seanie,” he ground out. “Jesus, Sean! Oh god! Soon!”

“Hurry, baby!” Sean cried out, his back arched in unbelievable ecstasy. “Don’t sto… oh god, yes!.. there! now.. com... ahhh god!! Coming! Hurry!”

Elijah felt Sean’s fingers dig into his back as they both shuddered in ecstasy against each other’s bodies, gasping in short, harsh breaths of completion.

Lost in sensation, Elijah pressed his face to Sean’s neck, drawing in one quaking breath after another, feeling his heart pounding in his chest. He smelled the sweet fragrance of the breezes gliding through their room combined with the even sweeter fragrance of his lover’s body. At last he let out a deep sigh of contentment. “Jesus,” he said hoarsely, lifting his head to gaze, bleary-eyed, at Sean. “We sure to **fuck** know how to baptize a room.”

Sean smiled and clasped Elijah’s face between his palms. “I love you, Elwood,” he murmured, his thumbs gently caressing the soft skin under Elijah’s eyes.

“And I love you,” Elijah said, sliding off him to lie by his side. He reached to the nightstand beside him and grabbed a towel that he had placed there earlier. He used one end to wipe himself clean, then swabbed Sean’s body with the other.

“Gay sex can be so **messy** ,” Sean observed, grinning.

“Yeah, but it’s still fun,” Elijah said, tossing the towel in the general direction of their bathroom. “Now grab that comforter and pull it up here. We need to get some sleep. We have all that damn kitchen stuff to put away tomorrow. **GOD** , I hate moving!”

Sean tucked the comforter around them both and snuggled Elijah against his body. “Give me a nice wake-up call in the morning, and I’ll do the kitchen myself while you unpack up here.”

“Yeah?” Elijah replied, in a sleepy voice. “Sounds like I really get the best of that deal… so, yeah. Count me in.” He yawned cavernously. “Sweet dreams, baby.”

“Well, they will be **NOW**.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Sean’s eyes blinked open the following morning, Elijah was nowhere to be found. He stretched, and reached to the foot of the bed for his cutoffs, then rose and wandered downstairs in search of his lover. “Hey!” he said from the top of the stairs, loving how his voice echoed in their huge great room. “Wasn’t I supposed to get an extra special wakeup today?”

He heard Elijah’s voice coming from the dining room, and wove his way there dodging numerous boxes, some opened and half empty, which were stacked in each room. Elijah stood before the dining room windows clad only in a pair of sweats. His cell phone was plastered to his ear. He glanced up as Sean entered and put his finger to his lips, asking for silence.

Sean drew up a chair and sat down. He made a shrugging, questioning gesture with his arms, miming his curiosity about Elijah’s phone call, which elicited a soft giggle and another hand gesture, pleading for quiet.

After a few moments of non-committal conversation punctuated by several nods and ‘Uh-huh’s’, Elijah hung up. He turned to Sean and pulled up a chair beside him, his face alight with a roguish grin. “Guess **WHAT!** ” he said with the smugly superior air of someone who is definitely ‘in the know’.

“I haven’t a clue,” Sean said. “But I **DO** know this is **NOT** how I was supposed to wake up!”

“Sean, that was Martin. Remember that script we looked at about the life of John Hersey?” he asked coyly.

“I do remember it,” Sean said. “Are they going to do the movie? Or more to the point, have you **agreed** to do the movie?”

“I’m giving it very, **VERY** serious consideration,” Elijah said, still grinning broadly.

“OK, Elwood, I give,” Sean said finally. “What the hell’s going on here? Why are you grinning like the fucking Cheshire Cat?”

“Guess who they want as director?” Elijah asked, arching his eyebrows.

“ **WHO**?” Sean asked. “PJ? Viggo? Who, Elijah?”

Elijah leaned toward him slowly, smiling, obviously relishing the chance to reveal his surprise in his own good time. His lips brushed against Sean’s briefly, then in the softest possible voice he whispered against Sean’s lips: “ **You** , that’s who.”

Sean felt as though he’d been hit by lightning. Stunned, he stared into Elijah’s grinning face uncomprehendingly. “What?” he said, dazed. **“WHO?”**

Elijah leaned back slowly, his face alight with happiness. He felt sure that it would crack wide open if his smile got any bigger. The look on Sean’s face said it all. He had never dreamt such an offer would come to him. Never felt he was good enough or worthy enough. But now it had. And Elijah’s heart nearly burst in his chest.

“ **YOU** , that’s who!” he said again, grabbing Sean’s hands. “The producers called Martin and asked for you specifically.”

“Elijah, that was just to make you happy,” Sean said slowly. He felt a stirring of elation in his chest, but forced it down, willing himself to move slowly. He would not accept this position if it had been offered because of his relationship with Elijah. “They don’t really want ME,” he said in a low voice. “They want you and they figure that’s a way to sweeten the deal.”

“Yes they **DO** want you!” Elijah told him. “They know nothing about our relationship. They just knew we were friends. The producers saw the history series you directed for TV and asked if I might be able to persuade you to direct the film. They loved what you did in those shows. They said it is the exact blending of reality and mythology that they want to convey in the movie!”

“They **DIDN’T** want you because of me. They wanted me to **GET** you for them!” He laughed aloud at the stunned expression on Sean’s face. “ **YOU**!” he said, in a choked voice.

Sean clasped Elijah’s hand tightly, a dawning happiness growing in his eyes… taking his breath. “Well, I’ll be damned,” he said softly, reaching up to touch Elijah’s face with trembling fingers.

“You,” Elijah whispered.

“To direct… **you** ,” Sean said. His voice was filled with quiet awe. “My God, Lij, I can’t believe it.”

“Believe it,” Elijah told him. “They want to meet with both of us next week. What’s going on at the station? Can you get away for a couple months if need be?”

Sean grinned. “I’ve done most of the hard work already. All that’s left is a bit of minor editing, and then to air the shows. I shouldn’t have any problems getting away for that long. It can only be good for them if I do a successful movie.”

“And speaking of that,” Elijah added. “They asked me to tell you that, if you’re interested…” he paused, “… and I assume you are…”

Sean gave him a look of shocked incredulity. “Are you **kidding**?”

Elijah laughed. “They said you should start thinking about who you’d want for staff and on the crew.”

“Oh my god,” Sean breathed, still not believing it. “I’m still asleep. I’m still dreaming! This can’t be happening.”

“You’re wide awake,” Elijah assured him. “And it IS happening…” he hesitated, then grinned again. “ _…boss._ ”

“ _Boss_ , is it?” Sean said, hauling Elijah across his lap, where he pressed him close to his chest. “The _boss_ would like to discuss the little matter of my wakeup call. If you can’t take direction any better than **THAT** …. well, I just don’t know.” He shook his head in mock dismay.

Elijah scowled. “Yeah, that’s bad. We may have to re-shoot that scene several times I’m afraid.”

Sean pressed his face to Elijah’s throat. He took a deep shuddering breath, then slowly let it out. As he did he looked up at Elijah, his face glowing with joy. “Thank you,” he whispered, then kissed him softly, briefly. It was almost a husband’s kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They managed to get most of the boxes unpacked that day, assisted by Mack and Ally, who showed up together later that morning. Sean told them about being offered the director’s chair for Elijah’s movie and the gathering immediately turned into a celebration.

Mackenzie hefted Sean into the air, and spun him around. “ **Incredible**!” he whooped, grinning and kissing Sean’s cheek. Then he sat him down and placed both hands on his shoulders. “You deserve this,” Mack told him in a low voice. “You deserve it more than anyone.”

Sean blinked back sudden tears and hugged his brother. “Thanks, buddy,” he murmured, then turned to embrace his daughter who was just releasing Elijah from a joyous hug.

“Daddy, how wonderful!” she said, hugging him tight. She leaned back and looked at her father, shaking her head silently. “I’m – I’m – I’m speechless,” she said.

“Well if it can do **THAT** it’s more than an opportunity,” her father muttered, “it’s a downright miracle!”

They all laughed and toasted Sean with orange juice that Elijah poured for them. “To the director!” Elijah offered happily, lifting his glass.

“Hey, it’s not official yet. I haven’t even talked with them,” Sean cautioned. “Let’s not jump to too many conclusions.”

“Hoist your glass, Astin,” Elijah laughed, nudging Sean’s glass higher. “You’ve got the job if you want it… and I do believe you want it. Right?”

They all clinked glasses and Sean’s glowing eyes met Elijah’s. ‘Thank you,’ he mouthed silently.

Elijah’s head shook slowly. “Don’t thank me. It was your work directing that history series on television that made them want you.”

The celebration wound down, and they turned to the many boxes that were left to unpack. Ally, Sean, and Elijah started with the kitchen while Mackenzie went to the guesthouse to begin organizing it in preparation for Gabrielle’s arrival. She had shipped most of her belongings, and Mack began unpacking and putting them away, hoping that she’d like the way he was setting up her new home.

As they stored dishes and pans in the various cupboards, Sean turned to Ally. “How’s Elizabeth?”

“Obnoxious,” Ally said without missing a beat.

“Ally, please,” Elijah said, taking a glass from her hand and setting it in the cupboard. “Be nice. She’s young and upset... and I didn’t help matters any.”

“You tried to help because you didn’t like seeing me upset and hurt,” Sean told him, hugging him with a strong arm. “Stop beating yourself up over it.”

“Daddy, she doesn’t **WANT** to see the truth. She’d rather be self righteous and belligerent. It fits in with her ‘drama queen’ image.”

Sean sighed. “Your mother and I have decided to send her to counseling,” he said quietly.

Elijah shot him a quick glance. It was the first he’d heard of this and he was somewhat surprised. He started to comment, then quickly reined himself in. _‘This isn’t my business,’_ he thought unhappily. _‘I’m staying out of it this time.’_

Sean reached to touch his hair. “Chris and I discussed this last night on the phone,” he told Elijah. “Sorry. I didn’t get the chance to tell you.”

“No, no,” Elijah assured him, smiling gently. “You’re her parents. It’s for you to decide. I have no say in it.” He patted Sean’s shoulder and turned toward the door leading outside. “I’m gonna go check on Mack and see if he needs any help.”

Sean watched him walk out, a thoughtful frown darkening his handsome face… then he sighed and turned to Ally. “God, I hate this,” he said bitterly. “He doesn’t deserve to be treated that way.”

“Lizzie’s being a spoiled brat,” Ally said, matter-of-factly. “What she needs is a swift kick in the ass.”

Sean pondered his eldest daughter solemnly for a moment then sat down on a high stool. “Ally, I’ve got an idea. Something I’d like to do at the Fellowship reunion, and I’d like your thoughts on it.”

She turned to him at once. “What is it, Daddy?”

He stared at her for another long moment. The thoughts he was pondering came from the innermost recesses of his heart. He wondered, momentarily, if Ally would be willing to accept what he was about to say, then took a deep breath and spoke.

“Ally, I’m thinking of asking Elijah to…,” he took another deep breath. “… marry me.”

“Daddy!” Alexandra squealed. “Really marry you?! Really **legally** marry you?”

“Well, no,” Sean said. “Not a civil ceremony. I mean more of a commitment ceremony. One we’d hold at the ‘Fellowship’ reunion.”

His daughter stared at him in such stunned surprise that Sean was forced to grin at her. “Have I shocked you?”

“No, Daddy, not really.” She sat down on the stool across from Sean’s. “But if you’re going to do it, why not have the whole legal thing done? Even if it isn't recognized in every state yet… it’s still marriage.”

Sean shook his head. “No,” he said. “To me, that’s what heterosexual couples do. That’s not who we are. I want something unique to us. Besides, baby, I don’t want that kind of publicity for Elijah. It could harm his career. His publicists are unhappy enough about the fact that we’re even living together. We always try to be totally discreet, and I’ll never flaunt our relationship, but they still don’t like it.” He glanced across at Ally and sighed again. “I know they’ve tried to talk him into getting his own place.”

“Daddy!” Ally protested. “I can’t believe it! What did Uncle Elijah say?”

Sean gave her a look of disbelief. “Well, what do you **THINK** he said?”

Ally laughed. “Fuck off?”

Sean tried to frown at Ally’s language, but had to grin instead. “Actually I don’t think he was that polite. But yeah, that was pretty much it.”

“Who’d perform the ceremony?” Ally asked, obviously excited.

“Well,” Sean said, feeling a blush creeping over his cheeks. “I was actually thinking of Viggo, or maybe Ian… or both.”

Ally took his hand. “Daddy, if it’s my blessing you’re looking for, you’ve got it. You know I love Uncle Elijah… always have. I know how much you love him… and how much he loves you.”

Sean squeezed her hand. He felt his eyes burning and quickly looked away, trying to compose himself. “Thanks, baby,” he whispered. Then he glanced her way again. “Ally? Do you think your mom would be upset by it?”

“Do you care?” Ally asked him bluntly. “It’s your life, Daddy.”

Sean frowned. “Of course I care!” he said heavily. “I care very much, Ally.”

Ally grinned at him. “I know you care about Momma. But, Daddy, you can’t let that be a consideration if this is really something you want to do. You have to think about what you and Elijah want.” Then, seeing the concern in her father’s face, she smiled. “Truthfully? I think Momma will be delighted. Didn’t she encourage you to find Elijah in the first place?”

Sean nodded. “Yeah,” he said, gazing thoughtfully out the window to the guesthouse where Elijah had gone to help Mack. “She did.” He turned back to Ally. “Now all I have to do is convince Elijah.”

“Do you think he’ll need convincing?” Ally responded, giggling.

Sean looked back toward the guesthouse. “I’m not sure,” he murmured.

Ally shook her head and then got up and went back to unpacking dishes. “Now you’re being silly,” she told him knowingly. “He’ll be all for it!”

Sean moved to start unpacking the next box. As he stacked dishes and bowls in the cupboard, he glanced again toward the guesthouse. “I hope you’re right,” he said.

Sean wasn’t all that convinced that Elijah would actually be in favor of some kind of half-assed marriage ritual, which was how Sean tended to see his ‘commitment ceremony’ idea. He might be in favor of the more legally binding civil union that was now available to gay couples in many states, including California.

But for Sean, this wasn’t an option he was willing to consider as yet. Along with the worry that it might damage Elijah’s career, there was an emotional component that he simply couldn’t ignore. Sean and Christine had been married in a civil ceremony, and he couldn’t see himself taking the same kind of vows with Elijah that he’d shared with her. The very idea felt, somehow, wrong to him. He wanted something totally unique for him and Elijah. He wanted any union they entered into to be an unprecedented experience in his life, not merely a duplication of something he’d already done with someone else.

“You gonna propose to him?” Ally asked, grinning. “On one knee maybe?” She winked at him as she pulled glasses from a box.

Her father scowled in her direction. “Just unpack your box,” he grumbled, embarrassed. “Leave the proposing to me.”

Ally returned to her cupboard, still giggling. But her question had raised new issues in her father’s ever-questioning mind.

 _‘Propose_?’ Sean thought anxiously. _‘I guess I would need to say **SOMETHING**! But **WHAT**?_ ’ He stopped, frozen in place with a plate raised halfway to the cupboard. _‘And what if he said ‘ **NO** ’?’_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time Mack and Ally left that evening, the guestroom was unpacked and beautifully arranged. They had also unpacked and put away everything left in the kitchen and dining room boxes. Sean and Elijah were officially moved in!

“When does Gabrielle arrive?” Ally asked as her father and Elijah walked her and Mack to the car.

“I pick her up at LAX tomorrow,” Elijah said happily.

“I just hope she likes the guest-house,” Sean worried for the hundredth time that day. “It’s not all that big.”

“It’s actually bigger than the apartment she had in Paris,” Elijah told him, punching gently at his shoulder. “Stop your fretting, fer fuck’s sake!”

“Ha!” Mack laughed from the other side of the car. “Fat chance of **THAT** happening!” He opened the driver’s door and waved. “See you two this weekend. Keep me informed about the ‘Fellowship’ reunion. I’d like to pop in long enough to say ‘hello’ anyway.”

“You might want to plan to stay longer than that Uncle Mack,” Ally said with an impish grin. “I hear it’s going to be quite the event!”

Sean shot her a threatening grimace and teasingly shook his fist at her behind Elijah’s back. Catching the motion, Elijah turned and looked at him questioningly, but Sean merely grinned and looped his arm around Elijah’s neck. As they walked back to the house, Elijah’s arm snuck around Sean’s waist.

“We’re finally moved in!” he crowed. “God, I’m glad that’s over with. I **NEVER** want to move again!”

Sean kissed his cheek as they approached the door. “Well god knows I don’t ever want you to move again,” he murmured, “unless I’m coming with you.”

His unconscious use of Sam’s phrase brought a smile to Elijah’s lips as they walked together into the great room and fell onto their white leather couch. Sean turned sideways and pulled Elijah back against his chest, snuggling him. “What’s on the agenda for this week?”

“Well, tomorrow I pick Gabrielle up, of course, so we can get her settled. Then Friday we’re meeting with Martin and the two producers about “Witness to History’. You remember them don’t you? We’ve talked about them… David Blaine and Harlow DeHararra.” He glanced toward Sean, his eyes rolling backwards, trying to see him. “You mentally ready for this?”

“Yes,” Sean said decisively. “I’m fine with it.” His arms tightened around Elijah’s body. “But if I’m going to do this movie, I need to get shooting schedules decided fairly quickly so I can work out something with the TV station.”

Elijah nodded. “We’ll make that our top priority.” He turned a bit more toward Sean. “And what do you mean, _if?_ ” he asked, wrapping an arm around his neck. “No _if_ about it, mister!”

Sean leaned into his kiss, his arms tightening around Elijah, turning him until he was sprawled on top of Sean, pressing his full length against Sean’s body. “Mmmmm…,” Sean moaned, deepening the kiss as their bodies seemed to melt into each other. “Right you are,” he murmured between kisses. “Though, frankly, at the moment, movies are the last thing on my mind.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sean remained at home while Elijah went to pick Gabrielle up from her long flight from Paris. He knew that she was overjoyed to be coming to America. It was a dream come true for her that she was able to continue as Elijah’s housekeeper as she had for many years in Paris. He knew that she liked him. But Elijah and she had a special relationship, and Sean wanted their reunion to be a private one.

He admired the flower arrangements they had ordered for Gabrielle’s new home, and nodded with satisfaction as he gazed around the guesthouse. It looked cozy and welcoming. Elijah and Mackenzie had done a superb job.

For the next couple of hours he worked fretfully at his desk, compiling and going over several long lists. One was for shooting ‘In the Light of Truth’, the historical series he was directing at the TV station. He arranged the editing schedule and assigned staff to each session. He would join them whenever possible, but trusted his assistant director to follow the storyboards they had created without his supervision. He wanted the movie to be his top priority.

The other lists were to be presented at the ‘Witness to History’ meeting that was happening two days from now. There was a long list of people he wanted as crew members for the shoot if he were actually given the director’s position. Some were people he had met while shooting ‘Lord of the Rings’, several were people who had worked with him on various other projects, and a few were people he’d never met but whose reputation for excellence was well known in the industry.

Then there was also a shorter list of ideas he had developed for the story itself. He had yet to see the screenplay, but since the day he learned that he was being considered as director for the film he had done extensive research on John Hersey’s life and times. And in typical Sean fashion he had made copious notes.

Though he had said nothing to Elijah, Sean was profoundly nervous about the prospect of directing him in this movie. Much more so than he would have felt were he directing anyone else. The prospect of failure was daunting enough, but the prospect of failure with Elijah as the lead actor in the film caused Sean’s stomach to clench and ice water to wash through his veins in a glacial torrent. He was determined to be as fully prepared for this job as was humanly possible… and maybe a bit more.

He was still bent over his lists when he heard the car horn blow, and a few minutes later Elijah walked in with Gabrielle in tow. She ran to Sean and embraced him, weeping. Sean could tell from her red eyes that she’d been doing quite a lot of weeping, and when he glanced over her shoulder at Elijah, his lover rolled his eyes teasingly and shook his head.

“How wonderful to see you, Gabrielle!” Sean said, hugging her again. “We’ve missed you so much!”

“Thank you so much, Mister Sean, for letting me come here to look after both of you. I am so happy.” She hugged him again, and Sean returned her embrace with real affection.

“Hey, you haven’t seen your house yet! Let us show you!”

“No, sir,” she insisted, the sounds of her French accent tickling Sean’s ears. “First I want to see this house, and most of all, the kitchen, and then I will be fixing your lunch!”

Sean and Elijah both insisted that she not begin fixing meals for them on her very first day here, and walked her to her new home. They watched anxiously as she looked around, touching the furniture, admiring the flowers, and gazing out the windows at the lovely view of the hills beyond. Finally she turned. “It is so perfect!” she exclaimed, beaming at them both. “I love this house. I will be most happy here.”

Elijah set her suitcase on the bed. “Here are your things,” he said. “The rest of your stuff is already put away. Mr. Sean’s brother and I did it so it would all be ready for you. But you feel free to move things wherever you want them. Just settle in, and later Mr. Sean and I are going to make dinner for YOU to welcome you home.” He hugged her tight.

They left her and walked back to the main house arm in arm. “I’m so glad we did this, Sean,” Elijah said, squeezing his arm, and laying his cheek against Sean’s shoulder. “She would have been lonely in Paris. I was really all she had.”

“It’s a perfect arrangement,” Sean said, kissing the top of his head. “I love having her here.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Within a day or two, it seemed as though Gabrielle had always been with them. They had wondered, privately, if having another person living in such close proximity to them would feel awkward. Sean found this thought especially worrisome even though Gabrielle's guesthouse was situated on the opposite side of the grounds from their bedroom.

“You think she can hear us?” he whispered to Elijah that night, peering anxiously out their patio door into the night.

“Sean, she's half-a-mile away!” Elijah said, laughing and punching his shoulder playfully. “Would you please stop?”

“I dunno, babe,” Sean said doubtfully. “You're pretty loud.”

Elijah pondered this for a moment, then sighed and shrugged. “Well, that's it then. I guess we can only have sex when she's out of town.”

Sean laughed and clutched Elijah close, rolling on top of him, pressing him hard against the mattress with his full weight. “Fat fucking chance,” he growled against Elijah's neck. “I'd rather give up breathing. Let her hear.”

“My thoughts exactly!” Elijah murmured happily.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They rose early Friday morning to dress for their meeting with the ‘Witness To History’ producers. Sean was nervous and trying desperately not to show it, without a lot of success. He went over his papers four times before putting them into his briefcase, and twice afterward. Elijah saw him wearing at least three different ties before he finally settled on a business-like navy blue with gray stripes.

Elijah wisely remained silent during these contortions, but when Sean began to cast a dubious eye on his tie yet again, he decided that enough was enough. “Sean, the tie is fine! In fact I’d say it’s damned near perfect.”

“You don’t think maybe the gray one?” Sean said unhappily.

Elijah sighed and sat his fork aside. They were in the kitchen and Elijah, at Gabrielle’s urging, was attempting to eat breakfast. “Seanie, you had the gray one on five minutes ago, then changed it for this one.”

“Yeah, but maybe…” Sean began, pawing at his tie.

Elijah sighed again. He stood and walked to where Sean stood at the kitchen counter, and pulled his hands away from the offending tie. “Stop this. You’re driving yourself nuts for no good reason. You look fantastic and they’re going to love you.”

“You don’t think…” Sean stammered.

“No!” Elijah said, laughing. “I don’t think you need a different tie, a different suit, or a different anything. I think you need to relax.”

“Mister Sean, come eat a bit of breakfast,” Gabrielle coaxed. “I’ve made eggs for you.”

Sean moaned. “Oh, god, Gabby.. I couldn’t eat.”

She shot Elijah a wide-eyed, questioning look and he laughed in response, shaking his head. “Never mind, Gabby. He’s hopeless this morning. He’s as nervous as a bridegroom.”

Sean glowered at the floor and mumbled, “I’m **NOT** nervous. I just wanna look professional.”

Gabrielle and Eljah exchanged a knowing glance, but said nothing. Elijah took his arm and guided him toward the door. “Time to go.”

Sean glanced at him as he was moved along. “Thought I was the director around here.”

Elijah shook his head. “Not today.”

The ‘Witness To History’ producers had an office in one of the many highrise buildings dotting downtown Los Angeles. In the elevator on the way to the 15th floor, Sean remembered being in this building to sign a contract for a movie long ago. He wondered which one it had been, and vaguely hoped it had been successful, thinking irrationally that if it had been, his success at this meeting was much more likely. “Jesus,” he whispered in self disgust.

“Huh?” Elijah responded. “You OK?”

“I’m not sure,” Sean told him, grabbing his briefcase as the doors opened. Then seeing Elijah’s look of alarm, he smiled. “I’m fine,” He said, patting Elijah’s arm. “Just indulging in a bit of irrational thinking.”

“Ah!” Elijah said, not understanding, but nodding anyway. “Here’s their office.” He pushed open the door and greeted his agent who was waiting for them in the small anteroom. “They here?” he asked, shaking hands with Martin.

“Waiting inside,” Martin told him. He turned to Sean. “How you doing?”

Sean shrugged nonchalantly. “Fine!”

Elijah snickered quietly, then turned to the inner office door. “Let’s not keep them waiting.”

They entered and Martin made introductions all around. The producers, David and Harlow, were in their mid-thirties. They seemed thoroughly in awe of Eljiah, but grinned with unabashed delight when introduced to Sean. “Goonies!” David cried. “Who’d ever have believed that one day I’d actually be shaking hands with Mikey! I love that movie!”

Sean shot Elijah a quick, surprised glance, then turned to the producer, hand outstretched. “Sean Astin,” Sean said quietly. “Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Didn’t know folks were still watching that one.”

“You kidding?” Harlow said happily, holding out his hand in turn. “It’s a classic!”

Elijah giggled softly at the inadvertent reference to Sean’s age, and took a seat, ignoring Sean’s frown.

“Let’s all sit down and chat,” David said. “We’re both very interested in your ideas for the movie.”

As they got into the discussion, Sean realized quickly that in spite of their youthful appearance, the two men knew their stuff. It was clear that they had studied both Elijah’s work and Sean’s and could speak knowledgably about both their careers. It was also clear after only a half-hour’s discussion that the two young men understood making movies. Sean had been out of the business for quite a few years, but Elijah had recognized their names at once as producers of several very well thought of motion pictures. Their past movies had not been major productions, but they had received critical acclaim and had a modest, and even impressive in one case, track record at the box office.

They listened silently as Sean outlined his thoughts on the film’s direction, and they received his list of suggestions for both screen play and crew without comment. Sean’s hands were trembling slightly and he glanced sideways at Elijah, wishing the producers would say something that let him know where he stood. It was clear they wanted Elijah in the starring role. But they had not spoken definitively as yet about wanting Sean as director.

He had never been sure of his place in Hollywood. Childhood insecurities and a poor self-image had haunted him for all his years as an actor. Even his stunning successes in “Goonies”, “Rudy”, and “Lord of the Rings” had not bolstered his confidence much beyond a grudging self-acceptance and willingness to admit that at times he wasn’t ‘half bad’ at what he did.

His work in educational TV had provided him with a new world to inhabit and a smaller pond to swim in. He was comfortable with his position as chief to a much smaller and more specialized group of artists, and he was proud of the work he’d done there. This new opportunity had brought him back to a world where he had never felt truly accepted. All the old insecurities now threatened to overwhelm him. He was afraid to speak out to these producers on his own behalf, and he was ashamed of his fear.

He was far from certain that the offer to direct hadn’t been simply a ruse to insure Elijah’s participation. To be rejected now, with Elijah sitting here beside him, would be a humiliation he was sure he couldn’t endure. He squirmed in his seat, unsure of what he would or should do if they said no word to him about their previous offer.

After an hour’s conversation the two young producers turned to Martin and asked him when Elijah’s contract could be finalized. Elijah shot a protective look at Sean and started to speak, then hesitated when he saw Sean quickly shake his head.

“Sean…” Elijah began quietly.

“Don’t. Elijah, don’t.”

“Excuse me,” Elijah said, interrupting the three men. “When do we talk about Sean’s role in the movie?” He looked at Sean. “There’s no way I’ll ignore this.”

”His role?” David asked in confusion. “I’m not sure what you mean, Elijah. His role is director.”

“But…” Sean stammered. “Since you never said anything...”

“Oh god!” Harlow said quickly. “I thought it was understood that we want you to direct. But when you didn’t bring an agent with you, I assumed you wanted to wait until your agency contacted us before confirming. When we saw ‘In the Light of Truth’ on WGBN we knew immediately you were the director we wanted. I simply wasn’t sure how much you wanted to discuss here today. Certainly, you have the job if you want it, Mr. Astin.”

Sean and Elijah exchanged a quick, overjoyed glance, then Sean turned to the producers. “It’s Sean,” he said firmly, sticking out his hand. “And I definitely want it. What about my list of suggestions for the screenplay and the crew assignments?”

“We’ll get right on them, Mr…. er.. I mean, Sean,” replied Harlow, shaking Sean’s hand. “I don’t know if we can get all the people on your list but we’ll certainly try. Do you want to call any of them personally?”

“Yes,” Sean said, trying not to let his elation show. “I’ll call many of them myself, but I’d appreciate a call from you as well.”

David smiled. “You can count on it, Sean. Can you meet with us here in say… a week? We want to start lining up studio time and could use your expertise and connections to make that happen.”

Sean nodded and jotted the date for the next meeting down in his schedule book. “That date works fine for me. And gentlemen?”

They both looked at him expectantly. “Finding a casting director is our top priority. We need to get other cast members lined up, and especially the female lead.” Directors of photography, lighting, and costume are next on the list.”

“We’ll be working on it, Sean,” David assured him.

There were handshakes all around, then Sean, Elijah and Martin walked out of the office. Sean could barely contain himself until they got in the elevator. The moment the doors closed he whooped and grabbed Elijah in a bear hug, lifting him off his feet and spinning him around before kissing him soundly.

“We did it! It’s happening!!” Sean cried buoyantly. “My god I had a scared moment or two in there.”

“Sean, you need to get an agent,” Martin told him. “It would have saved a lot of confusion today if you’d had representation.”

“Why don't you represent him, Martin!” Elijah urged.

Martin looked at Sean with questioning, raised eyebrows.

Sean shrugged. “Fine by me. I haven’t had an agent in years.”

Martin slapped him on the back as the elevator doors opened. “I’ll send a contract around tomorrow, Sean. See both of you in a few days.”

They waved him on his way, and as they walked to their car talked over what happened at the meeting. “You weren’t going to let it pass were you?” Sean said, putting an arm around his shoulder and hugging him.

Elijah crowded him, nudging Sean a bit off balance so that he had to tighten his arm to steady himself. “No,” Elijah said emphatically. “I wasn’t about to let it pass. After everything you put yourself through to prepare?”

“And I have to tell you, Astin," he continued, "once you knew you had the job, you certainly **sounded** like a director! _‘These are our top priorities!’_ ” he mimicked. “Very impressive!”

“I hope I’m **just** as impressive when we start the shoot.”

“You will be!”

Sean hugged Elijah again and tried to believe in his words, but nagging doubt gnawed at him. To direct a flop would be bad enough. But to direct a flop starring Elijah? Who had just won **TWO** Academy Awards? There could **BE** no other reason for such an occurrence _except…_ the director!

He could see it was going to be a long, long fall.


	5. Time After Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've begun to film their movie, but will this film end up costing Sean everything?

Sean’s days became a blur. Once the process had begun, he had a lot less time in the home that he and Elijah had created together. Meetings happened several times a week. Some included Elijah, but most did not.

The screenplay was a top priority for Sean, and he met regularly with the writing staff, outlining his ideas and reviewing what they had accomplished. He didn't want to micro-manage, but he was determined that this script would be a showcase for Elijah, and worthy of his talent.

The main department heads had been hired and Sean met with them frequently, making decisions about casting, music, and other essential components of the film. He left it to his department heads to hire their own staffs, only insisting, gently, on being given final approval before anyone was actually hired. He also made one or two suggestions for various positions, which were gladly received.

He found, to his endless delight, that many of the talented people he had wanted for this film were not only available, but overjoyed at the prospect of working with him again. His genial personality and open, loving character had made him beloved on any film he worked on in his youth, and this served him in good stead now.

The casting of John Hersey’s wife, Barbara, took the longest. Sean asked Elijah to be present at auditions to run lines with the actresses who tried out for the role. This proved to be both a joy for Sean and a bit of a trial, as the scene which he, himself, had chosen for the audition was one which involved a passionate embrace between the two lead actors.

The role was highly coveted in Hollywood, owing in no small part to Eljah’s recent Oscar win, and Sean found he had many of the industry’s leading young actresses to choose from. One by one they ran the lines with Elijah, and with each successive audition, Sean squirmed more uncomfortably in his seat. Watching Elijah embrace and kiss these exquisitely beautiful women was proving to be a harder task than he had anticipated, a fact that was not lost on his highly amused leading man.

“That’s lunch!” Sean called after the first few auditions. “One hour then we’re back here.”

Elijah wandered to Sean’s chair where he sat viewing video of the auditions. “How’s it goin’, boss?” he asked innocently, nudging Sean’s elbow with his own.

“Shaddup!” Sean growled, shoving his arm away.

“Something…” Elijah hesitated dramatically, “… **BOTHERING** you, perhaps?”

Sean glanced up at him and was forced to laugh at the sparkling blue eyes that seemed to hold the essence of Elijah’s giggle in their midst. “Just shut up,” he muttered. “I’m doing the best I can here.”

Elijah pulled his chair closer to Sean’s and sat close beside him, his arm linked through Sean’s, their two heads close together. “Is it really bothering you?” Elijah asked. He had found Sean’s discomfort a bit funny at first, but now wondered if it would be a real problem for him as filming commenced.

Sean leaned back a bit and grinned. “Who **ME**? Bothered? Why, NO, Elijah. Watching the love of my life giving passionate kisses to the most beautiful women in the world is a rare and wonderful treat.” He laughed softly and gave Elijah’s fingers a surreptitious squeeze. “I’m fine,” he said softly. “In fact I’m feeling wonderful! It’s obvious you were convincing or the scene wouldn’t have bothered me!”

“Well, at least you know which girl to pick!” Elijah said grinning.

“How’s that?”

“Which ever one bothered you the most!” Elijah giggled, then ducked away from Sean’s fake punch.

“Go have lunch. You’re due back here in 45 minutes.”

Sean poured over the audition videos for several days and finally narrowed the choices to three superb actresses. He then discussed these choices with Elijah. His input was always invaluable and his ability to relate to the actress who became his leading lady was of enormous importance. Sean needed to know which one of the girls he had selected appealed to Elijah from an actor’s standpoint.

After some discussion, they finally settled on Launa Fendrick, a petite brunette who was considered one of America’s great treasures on the screen. She possessed beauty, grace, and the kind of acting talent that Sean believed would beautifully compliment Elijah's gifts.

She and Elijah hit it off at once. They shared a love of music and talked endlessly about the latest popular groups, each of them avidly defending their favorites with a seemingly endless supply of energy and passion. Sean was thrilled to see the chemistry between his two lead actors, and quickly suppressed any brief twinges of jealousy. That chemistry would come across beautifully on the screen and enhance both their performances.

When filming finally commenced it became immediately clear to David and Harlow that Sean had been the perfect choice to be the film’s director. Directing required a good feel for images, music and performance as well as understanding various technical aspects of the production process, and Sean possessed these aptitudes in abundance. He was able to communicate well with people. He was able to see both the small details of the project and maintain an overview of the bigger picture.

Perhaps most importantly Sean had _"vision"_. With his penchant for detail and devotion to hard work, the pieces of the film’s puzzle were largely put together in his head before filming ever started, and he was able to oversee brilliantly the process of aligning these pieces during the making of the movie.

Sean had one other quality that made him both a tireless worker and devoted craftsman for this movie: he was passionately in love with the film’s leading man. He was single-mindedly determined that this production would showcase Elijah’s ability in ways that no other director had ever considered. He desperately wanted Elijah to shine… to glow… to fill the screen with all the beauty and talent that Sean knew burned within him. He devoted every waking hour to achieving this goal. And because of this devotion, they spent almost no time together for weeks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elijah had seen Sean go through this kind of phase before, and it never failed to frighten him. Sean simply didn’t seem to see it, how his obsessive fixation on the movie’s success took him over. The man Elijah loved was still there, sweet, loving, and infinitely kind. He simply became less and less available as the pre-production was finalized and filming commenced. The shooting schedule evolved from eight hours a day to ten, then twelve, until finally they were frequently working eighteen hour days with almost no days off.

Elijah heard irritable grumbling from the other actors, as well as the crew. They all loved Sean, but they didn’t understand his relentless perfectionism, and as much as they wanted to please him, they were growing tired. Elijah hesitated to say anything. His relationship with Sean was an open secret on set, one greeted with subtle approval and a rather idealized acceptance. But for that reason alone, Elijah refused to ask Sean for favors. He wanted no suggestion of favoritism to mar his relationship with the others.

David and Harlow were no help. They frequently huddled with Sean, discussing financial issues or time schedules, and Elijah had the uneasy suspicion that they approved of their director’s frenzied pace and, indeed, encouraged it, a situation that Elijah found more annoying with every passing day.

Finally, after fielding several direct complaints from various department heads, Elijah decided he had to step in. The tension on the set was beginning to interfere with his performance, and even more importantly, he missed the man he loved. He’d been lonely in Paris, but somehow their current situation seemed worse. It was one thing to be lonely for someone who was separated from him by thousands of miles, but quite another to feel abandoned by one who slept beside him every night- or nearly every night.

Sean had taken to sleeping at his studio office now and then, not wanting to disturb Elijah by entering their bed in the wee hours of the morning. His motives were loving ones, but Elijah awoke on those mornings feeling gloomy and forsaken as he lay in their huge bed alone. The movie was starting to have a damaging effect on their relationship, and Elijah simply wouldn’t allow it to continue.

And so the next time he woke up with Sean sleeping beside him… he decided to act. “Hey! Wake up, you!” he said, shaking Sean’s shoulder.

“MMmm,” Sean muttered. “Don’t wanna wake up.”

“Wake up anyway,” Elijah said firmly. “I want to talk to you.”

Sean rolled over to face Elijah and swiftly took him in his arms, pressing Elijah’s still-slender body hard against his own. “Mmm, baby, baby. God, you feel good.”

To his surprise, Elijah pushed him away and settled a bit apart from him, leaning on an elbow. “That’s not why I woke you. We need to talk, Sean.”

His voice, as he lay motionless beside Sean, was flat and unemotional. It carried a tone that Sean had rarely heard before, and he felt a visceral fear twine its way into his stomach and up his spine. “Elijah?” he whispered. “What’s wrong? Are you mad at me?”

“Mad?” Elijah said, and shook his head. “No, Sean. Not mad. Worried, perhaps. Disappointed a bit. But not angry.”

“Disappointed?” Sean said, shocked. “How have I disappointed you?”

“By letting the making of this movie come between us!” Elijah said sharply. “By never being here, and by being too tired or preoccupied to pay much attention to me when you are here. By not seeming to notice that your co-workers are exhausted and unhappy because of the pace you’re setting.”

“Elijah, I – I thought…,” Sean stammered.

“I know. You’re working on **OUR** movie. Working hard on it. But, Sean…” he stopped and sighed, then steeled himself and continued, “Sean, I left a life I’d built for myself for over ten years to come back here with you. I left a life I loved. I don’t regret it,” he said quickly in answer to the dismay that flooded Sean’s face. “I regret nothing. I love you. I believe in our life together. I want to be **WITH** you.”

Sean looked away, feeling sudden guilt tighten his chest.

“Right,” Elijah said, seeing the direction of his eyes. “ **WITH** you. And lately, Sean, that’s the one thing I haven’t been… **WITH** you.”

“Baby, you have to understand! It’s so important to me that this movie succeed! I have to give it 100%. It’s not just for me, you know!”

“I know that. I know what you’re going through. You’re beside yourself with anxiety **because** I’m in this movie. You want it to succeed for my sake more than for your own. I’m grateful for your love, Sean. I swear I am.”

“Then you **DO** see why…” Sean began.

“Yeah…” Elijah interrupted dryly. “I see alright. I know **YOU** , Sean. And you know yourself. You know how obsessive you can get. You **know** how driven you become at times. I don’t believe your devotion to this project has to become a wedge between us. You CAN do both! But you’re not. You only have room for one thing right now… the movie. And that doesn’t leave any room for **ME**!”

“Oh my god,” Sean choked. “Elijah...”

“And it’s not just me,” Elijah said, his voice growing gentle. “You seem totally unaware of the fact that **your** eighteen hour days also mean eighteen hour days for your cast and crew. None of them have lives right now either, Sean. And as much as they all admire you, they’re starting to resent it.”

Rationalizations came storming into Sean’s mind; words like: ‘for your sake too’, ‘for the good of the film’ and ‘commitment to excellence’ and other thoughts that justified his recent treatment of the one he loved more than his life, and of the people who worked so tirelessly on his behalf. Excuse after excuse flamed in his mind like flashes of lightning… and died there. He had always used such words to defend how single-mindedly ambitious he became when heeding only the dark, compulsive angels of his nature, and allowing them to drive out the softer voices of love.

“Elijah…” Sean whispered thickly, blinded by hot tears. “God, I’m so sorry.” He felt Elijah’s hand clasp his shoulder and squeeze gently. And that simple gesture touched Sean more deeply than words or passion could have. He looked up into the eyes of his friend and lover. “I’m sorry,” he said again.

Elijah smiled and shook him gently. “I know. You don’t even realize it’s happening. It takes you over a little at a time. Even **I** didn’t realize what was happening until it had gotten to the point where it was hurting us. Sean, I can’t stand to see you driven by fear to the point where you don’t even realize how much damage you’re doing. I’d rather see the damned movie fail than see **US** fail. **NOTHING’S** that important!”

Sean pulled Elijah into his arms in a quick, impassioned embrace. “It stops now,” he said, his voice trembling. “It stops right now.” He started to speak, then took a sudden breath and looked into Elijah’s eyes, his own widening with consternation. “What **day** is this?” he asked.

Elijah nodded. “Right,” he said, smiling kindly. “I’m not surprised you don’t know. It’s Friday, Sean.”

Sean released him as suddenly as he had embraced him and reached for his cell phone. He hit a number on his ‘speed dial’ and waited impatiently while it rang. Elijah started to get out of bed, but Sean reached out silently and grabbed his arm. When Elijah looked his uncertainly, Sean smiled at him and mouthed… “Stay there” before turning back to the cell phone.

“Carlos?” he said finally. “It’s Sean. I’d like you to do me a favor.” Carlos was Sean’s young, but sharp and highly energetic, assistant director. “Call everyone and tell them not to bother showing up today.” He glanced at Elijah who had returned to their bed and was lying there, leaning on his elbow, watching Sean, his blue eyes dark with love. “In fact,” Sean continued. “Tell them not to bother showing up ‘til Monday. We’re taking a long weekend.” Again he glanced at Elijah… a slow, happy smile spreading over his face. “ **ALL** of us are taking a long weekend.”

He answered a couple brief questions, then hung the phone up and set it back on the nightstand. Then, seemingly thinking better of it, he picked it up again and turned it off.

Elijah laughed as Sean eased himself back into bed and stretched out beside Elijah, taking him gently in his arms. “Well **THAT’S** certainly a move in the right direction!”

Sean slid his fingers slowly down Elijah’s cheek. “What is?” he whispered.

“Turning that damn phone off,” Elijah told him. “I was beginning to feel as though you should just have it surgically attached to your face.”

Sean laughed softly. “The only thing I want surgically attached to my face… is your face.” He kissed Elijah with tender love, molding their mouths together gently, the better to feel the shape of those soft, full lips. Again and again he captured Elijah’s mouth beneath his, kissing him hungrily, wondering how he could have so foolishly neglected this treasure that had come to him after so many lonely years.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured against Elijah’s mouth, moaning as he kissed and suckled it… losing himself in the heady joy of their embrace.

Elijah’s fingers twined through Sean’s curls, and his heart began to pound. “It’s OK now,” he murmured in response.

Sean moved lower in their bed, his tongue leaving a wet trail as it skated slowly down Elijah’s throat. Eyes closed, Sean lost himself in pleasure. These were the moments that gave his life meaning. This was the joy that made it all worthwhile. To feel his lover’s body beneath his, to taste the warm satin of his skin, to feel his hands slide over the smooth ripple of muscle beneath warm bare flesh. For Sean, these moments were more than sexual bliss. They were a devotion as worshipful as any church service.

And as the desire grew in each of them, Sean murmured his love against Elijah’s skin, licking the hard, warm muscles of his chest, hearing Elijah gasp as his tongue moved over velvety nipples that quickly hardened beneath his seeking lips.

“Lij… Lijah… my love… my love” he moaned, feeling delirious with desire. His hand groped lower and grasped the hardness of Elijah’s arousal, feeling the sharp, upward thrust of his lover’s hips, hearing him suck in a quick, choppy breath. Sean’s tongue wove a rapturous path down Elijah’s body, skating smoothly over the taut, flat abdomen, feeling the muscles quiver as his tongue teased them. He felt Elijah’s erection pulse against his cheek and turned his head to lick it in long, slow strokes, pressing it to his mouth with trembling fingers.

Elijah gasped and his fingers clenched in Sean’s curls. “Seanie!” he cried. He tugged on Sean’s hair, trying to pull him higher, his whole body craving the feel of Sean’s weight pressed against him, crushing them together, molding them into oneness. “Sean, please!” he cried again, and his breath caught on a sobbing gasp as Sean moved quickly to cover Elijah’s body with his own.

They pressed their bodies together, hardness against hardness, rocking forcefully as their lips merged, drinking in each other with a desperate thirst, tongues mating moistly.

They climaxed together in minutes, each of them crying the other’s name as the final moment of ecstasy caught them in a dizzying explosion of feeling. Sean watched Elijah’s face as he came, enraptured as surrender lifted him into a beatific loveliness that was almost otherworldly.

“Lijah, my Lijah,” Sean moaned finally, kissing Elijah’s sweat-damp throat. “Oh, god, baby how could I have been so stupid?”

Elijah drew in a trembling breath. “Stupid?” he laughed. “If you weren’t so damned brilliant we wouldn’t have had this problem.”

Sean scowled and kissed Elijah’s lips tenderly. “Any man who would risk his relationship with you to make a movie is stupid,” he growled. “No matter what his IQ test might say.”

Elijah laughed and gently pushed Sean off his body. “Oooof! You’re heavy, baby. Let me breathe.” He turned to face his lover, reaching to touch his face. “Listen. Our relationship was never really at risk. I’d never let it get that far. But this,” he muttered, waving his index finger back and forth between the two of them, “is not the only relationship in your life. You **DO** want to stay friends with your crew, don’t you? And…” he glanced at Sean, his eyes gentle. “It’s been awhile since you’ve seen your daughters.

Sean buried his face against Elijah’s body, whimpering. “Oh my god I’m a jackass,” he moaned at last. “I’d better see them today!”

Elijah got out of bed, then turned and patted Sean’s ass. “Yeah. You are a jackass at times… just like everybody else. You call the girls. Maybe we’ll get lucky and Elizabeth will come over, too.”

“Where’re you going?” Sean asked, reaching for Elijah. “It’s early yet, baby.”

“Get up,” Elijah said, turning toward the bathroom. “I’m going to shower. **YOU’RE** going to start making phone calls.”

Sean sighed, nodded, and reached for his cell phone.

~~~~~~~~~~~

They had still not fully resolved the problems with Elizabeth. Since they moved into the house she had seemed willing, even eager, to spend time with Sean. They had dinner frequently and she always seemed happy to see her father. But, to his sadness, she still refused to discuss his relationship with Elijah or apologize to him, which Sean still insisted she do before coming to their home.

Sean’s preoccupation with ‘Witness To History’ had interfered with the time he’d been able to spend with all three girls, and Elizabeth found this especially upsetting. Once again, she saw Sean’s absence as a demonstration of his obvious preference for his lover. She felt discarded, and she blamed Elijah.

“You care more about him than you do me!” she told Sean the next time they met.

“I care **differently** about him!” Sean retorted. “But certainly not more.”

“Would you be spending so much time on this picture if **he** wasn’t in it?” she asked.

Sean gazed at his thirteen year old with admiration. “You really must consider law school,” he told her.

“Very funny, dad.”

“It wasn’t meant as a joke,” Sean said quietly. “You have a very astute mind.”

Elizabeth tried to suppress her pleasure at the compliment, but couldn’t.

Seeing her smirk, Sean hastened to set her straight. “But, believe me, you have a lot of growing up to do before that mind will be mature enough to understand my relationship with Elijah.”

She swallowed hard and her eyes flashed with anger.

“You’re right, of course, that I was spending too much time working on the movie because he’s part of the cast. But what you seem incapable of understanding is that it wasn’t **his** fault that I did so. It was a choice **I** made, a foolish one. Anymore than it was **his** fault that your mother and I divorced. That was a choice **we** made, and it was **not** a foolish one.”

“In fact,” Sean continued, “Elijah is the one who pointed out to me that I was spending too much time on this movie, and neglecting the people I loved… including **YOU**.”

Elizabeth sighed and turned away.

“If you insist on being judgmental, Elizabeth,” Sean said quietly, “you might also want to consider being fair-minded as well. Keeps you from looking completely foolish.”

When Elizabeth made no response, her father leaned in and kissed her hair. “He’s on your side,” he whispered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The plans for the ‘Fellowship’ reunion had been moving rapidly forward. The date had been set and Dom, lounging in their great room the following weekend, ticked off the names of attending ‘Fellowship’ members on his fingers. “Billy, of course.” He smirked at Sean and Elijah as they sprawled on the couch opposite him.

“Of course,” Elijah commented dryly. Sean merely snickered.

“Vigs is in, so is Bean, John says he’s coming, and I even got that smarmy pretty-boy Orlando to agree to come.”

“Yes, I know. We had lunch with Orlando last week. But what about Ian?” Elijah asked eagerly. “Have you contacted him?”

“I have, and he’s still unsure if he can get away. The date we’ve set is at the same time he **may** be involved in a play in London. Dates aren’t certain yet.”

Elijah sighed, his fingers lazily stroking Sean’s curls. “God, it just won’t be complete if Ian’s not here.”

Sean looked up from where he lay with his head pillowed comfortably on Elijah’s lap. “He’ll be here, babe. I have faith.”

Ally wandered down the stairs and stooped to kiss both Elijah and Sean on the cheek. “Mornin’ daddies,” she muttered sleepily, turning toward the kitchen.

“No kiss for **me**?” Dom asked, pouting with feigned hurt. “Your first **boyfriend**?”

Alexandra laughed and turned back to drop a kiss on Dom’s hair. “Getting thin up here, Uncle Dommie,” she observed mildly, to Sean and Elijah’s great amusement.

“Alright, alright!” Dom said, waving her away.

“You guys talking about the ‘Fellowship’ reunion?” she asked, ignoring Dom’s wave and perching on the arm of his chair.

“We are,” Dom told her. “You coming?”

“Wouldn’t miss it!” Ally said, giggling. “I hear it’s to be a party of **special** magnificence!” As she dramatically spoke the word ‘special’, she winked at her father then rose and walked into the kitchen, seeking breakfast.

Dom watched her go. “She’s growing up,” he commented.

“Yes she is,” Sean said, a note of pride in his voice.

Dom continued, “She’s becoming more obnoxious every day.” He tossed a magazine at Sean, who was feigning sleep. “What’s she hinting at?” he asked. “That’s about the third time she’s done that… dropped not-so-subtle hints that something special is going to happen at the reunion. Something we don’t know about.”

Elijah bent over Sean enquiringly. “He’s right, you know. She **has** been dropping hints about the reunion. Do you know what she’s talking about?”

“Don’t have a clue,” Sean murmured, turning to nuzzle his face against Elijah’s body. “She’s just teasing you guys. Being silly.”

“Hmmm,” Dom muttered, sipping his beer and giving Sean a searching look. “Ally is many things, but ‘silly’ isn’t usually one of them.”

Sean shrugged, glad that his back was turned so Dom couldn’t see his face. _‘Damn!_ ’ he thought irritably, _‘She’s gonna give it away and I haven’t even spoken to Elijah yet!’_ He vowed to have a serious talk with his eldest daughter that very weekend.

Dom and Elijah, meanwhile, exchanged knowing glances. Something was definitely up, and Elijah felt sure that Sean’s apparent nonchalance about the matter was entirely faked. He knew. But he obviously wasn’t talking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Though fairly confident in his skill as a director, Sean still had a bit of quiet concern over his ability to work with his talented lover, especially in an undertaking this significant. He was fearful that his feelings for Elijah would intrude on his ability to direct with objectivity.

But as filming progressed he felt his sense of concern slowly fade. Elijah was a consummate professional, a seasoned veteran whose astounding talent was augmented by a gifted instinct for his craft. These qualities set the tone for their relationship on set. They were openly affectionate with each other, but always observed the kind of tactful decorum that seemed appropriate under these circumstances.

One of their most challenging scenes involved John Hersey’s controversial article entitled _‘Hiroshima’_. It chronicled the dropping of the atomic bomb in 1945 and how this event affected the lives of six individuals who had been victims of the weapon’s devastating effects. The article was written a year after the bombing, but the scene included in the movie involved a final chapter written forty years later when Hersey revisited Japan to discover what had happened to those six people.

In today’s scene, Elijah, as John Hersey, was talking with the wife of an interviewee who, in the intervening years, had passed away. Their discussion of the bombing’s aftermath chronicled in excruciating detail how these people lived their entire lives under the shadow of that one devastating experience. The conversation was a centerpiece for Sean’s film, a deeply emotional exchange that set the tone for many of the scenes that followed. Its importance could not be overestimated.

That morning as they dressed to go to the studio Elijah was unusually quiet. Sean understood at once that he was preparing internally for the difficult scene ahead, and kept a quiet, discreet distance from his leading man. They drove to work without exchanging a word, but as they were getting out of the car, Sean felt Elijah’s hand grip his arm. Sean turned to him expectantly.

“Low key today, OK?”

“You’ve got it,” Sean said reassuringly. “I’ll close the set if you like. Minimum crew. Whatever you need.”

Elijah shook his head. “That’s not necessary, Sean. Just low key.” Then he walked ahead of Sean toward the studio door, head lowered.

Sean would never forget that day. The set was dimly lit, but Elijah’s face was radiant in the shadowy room. His eyes darkened as he spoke his lines, and his voice grew husky with unshed tears. He seemed to age before their eyes, his shoulders slumping as if taking on some terrible burden. Sean felt an unremitting tension fill the room and he heard his young assistant director gasp softly as the scene wound to a close.

When they finished, there was absolute silence.

“Cut,” Sean said softly.

For a moment the silence continued as Elijah gently hugged the actress who had shared the scene with him. Both of them were crying. As they stood, the set exploded into spontaneous applause. Several members of the crew were wiping their eyes. It was obvious that everyone on the set had been deeply affected by what they had seen.

Sean walked to Elijah who immediately turned to him, tears still streaming down his cheeks. “Hope that was OK, boss,” he said shakily.

Sean didn’t speak, but took Elijah in his arms and held him close then turned his head and kissed his damp cheek. It was the only time during the filming of their movie that they had embraced in front of the cast and crew, and it drew another burst of impulsive applause, this time accompanied by cheers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Filming on ‘Witness To History’ finally ended, and everyone connected with the film was tremendously excited about its chances for success. Sean was absolutely convinced that Elijah had given his best performance ever, and was a shoo-in for another Oscar nomination.

Elijah was happy with his performance, but downplayed any talk of another Oscar for himself. He preferred to focus on Sean’s directorial debut and the exceptional quality of the overall production. He felt sure that the film was going to be a contender.

The wrap party was tremendous fun but also tinged with sadness. It was always hard when a movie wrapped, to say goodbye to the friends you had worked with so closely.

The cast and crew presented Sean with an autographed first edition of ‘A Bell For Adano’, and when he finally managed to stammer out his thanks, they responded with rousing and obviously heartfelt approval. The sight of Elijah as he stood among the ‘Witness To History’ cast and crew, grinning like a Cheshire cat and wildly applauding right along with them was a moment Sean would always cherish.

One benefit of their joint participation in the film was the amount of press attention it garnered. _‘Sam and Frodo’_ were working together again, and the Hollywood journalistic community, not to mention news gatherers from all over the country, couldn’t seem to stop asking them for interviews. They answered a million questions about the film itself, and **several** million questions about their days shooting ‘Lord of the Rings’. Occasionally a reporter would enquire about their relationship, but all either of them would say is that they had remained close friends and were thrilled to once again be working as a team.

No one enquired about the exact nature of their relationship, and evidently the fact that they were living together in Topanga Canyon was still a private matter known only to their close friends and family. Sean and Elijah had already decided that they would tell the truth should the question come up. But while they refused even to consider lying about who and what they were, still, all things considered, they preferred to keep their private life private for a while longer yet. They worried that a revelation of this kind could have a damaging effect on their movie’s chances.

Dom, on the other hand, encouraged them to _‘come clean’_ immediately. “What the hell,” he said genially. “Being gay is ‘in’, don’t you know that? You two should come out the night of the premiere.”

Sean shot him an anxious look but Dom stood his ground. “You’d make box office history,” he encouraged. “Just think of the press you’d get!” He framed a headline between his two hands and chanted: _“Sam and Frodo shacked up in Topanga Canyon love-nest!”_

“Oh my god,” Sean moaned, his head between his hands. “Make him stop,” he begged Elijah.

“Dom,” Elijah said, laughing. “Stop. He’s buried in editing. You’ll send him into a stroke. He’s not getting enough sleep as it is.”

“Want **me** to tell them the night of the premiere?” Dom asked helpfully, grinning at Sean.

Both Sean and Elijah spoke at once: “ **NO!** ”

“Spoilsports,” Dom muttered. “When **is** the premiere?”

“If I manage to get through editing,” Sean said, “probably the end of December.”

“Ah! Just in time for awards season,” Dom replied, grinning.

“Don’t remind me,” Sean said tiredly.

“You should be looking forward to it!” Elijah said, lighting a cigarette. “You’ve just directed a film that has a good fucking chance of winning several of those awards!”

Sean waved the smoke away. “You promised you’d do that outside,” he grumbled.

“I’m too fucking comfortable,” Elijah said, batting at his hand.

Sean rolled his eyes and stood up. “Fine. You smoke. I’m going for a walk.”

Dom eyed him as he opened the sliding door and stalked outside. “Trouble in paradise?” he asked Elijah mildly.

Elijah laughed and blew a smoke ring in Dom’s direction. “I annoy him at times,” he said. “And it annoys him that I annoy him.”

Dom sighed. “I hate it when you try to be psychoanalytical. It’s not your fucking style.”

“He’s used to living alone,” Elijah said with a shrug. “So am I. And when you’ve lived like that for years, it’s not easy to suddenly be sharing your life with someone else. He loves me with his whole heart and I love him the same way. But…” he waved his cigarette in the air. “I annoy him at times. I’m a slob. I smoke. I swear. At times my music makes him want to run screaming into the night. We're both making adjustments.”

"Are there problems between you?" Dom enquired.

"No **REAL** problems. He's just afraid to bitch at me," Elijah said with a sigh. "I wish he'd just blow his stack now and then. But he won't. You know how he is about emotional storms. He can't handle them. So he steps around my dirty underwear, waves away my smoke, patiently cleans up my area in the bathroom, and fumes internally."

"That's not good," Dom observed.

"He was the same way with Chris," Elijah said, grinding his cigarette into the ashtray and shaking his head.

"You've discussed this with her?" Dom asked, astonished.

Elijah laughed. "We've talked a time or two."

"Jesus," Dom said, with a snicker. "Sean's other wife."

"Don't say that!" Eiljah snapped. "I'm **nobody's** wife!"

The sliding door opened and Sean strode into the living room. He moved behind the couch then leaned over it, his hands cradling Elijah's face from behind. "Sorry," he said, then bent and gave Elijah an upside-down kiss.

"What're you sorry for?" Dom asked. "He was being obnoxious."

"I know," Sean said, walking toward the kitchen. "That doesn't mean **I** have to be a jerk does it? Anyone want a beer?"

Dom yelled after Sean: "Bring us both one, Astin!" then said to Elijah. "Your wish that he'd just blow his stack at you is definitely a lost cause."

Elijah shook his head in bemused wonder at the man to whom he had committed his heart, and agreed with Dom that this was probably the case.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanksgiving passed happily in the Astin-Wood household. Sean and Elijah cooked a traditional dinner, which was attended by all three of Sean’s daughters, his mother, and Mackenzie. Gabrielle had been given the holiday off and was spending the weekend with some distant cousins she had discovered living in the L.A. area.

Elijah was tremendously apprehensive about Sean’s mother visiting them. So much so that Elizabeth’s decision to join them for the holiday barely registered. “Jesus, Sean,” he muttered, as he attempted to chop onions for the stuffing. “What’s she going to say? You’ve barely talked to her since we got back together and she didn’t sound all that pleased at the time.”

“Elwood, would you please watch what the hell you’re doing? I don’t want part of your finger in the damned stuffing. And who cares what she says? She’s in our house. She’ll behave herself or spend the night at ‘Holiday Inn Express’!”

“And what about Elizabeth?” Elijah asked, setting the knife aside. “What made her decide to come over?”

Sean shrugged. “I suspect we owe the honor of Miss Elizabeth’s company to the fact that both her grandmother and uncle will be here.” He glanced at Elijah and saw his face fall with disappointment. “I’m sorry, baby. Maybe that’s not all it is. It’s always possible that she’s softening toward us.”

“Did it sound like she was softening the last time you talked to her?”

“We didn’t really discuss it the last time I saw her. We talked about school and other things… but not about us.” He walked to Elijah and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “It’ll all work out, babe. Don’t worry about it.”

“But, Sean, it’s been months now,” Elijah said sadly. “And she still refuses to be part of our family. I know how it hurts you. Hell, it hurts **me**.”

“She’ll be here today,” Sean said, hugging him tenderly, “She's agreed to apologize to you, so let’s just stay in the moment and enjoy it. Is Mack up yet?”

“I don’t think so. He was up late with Dom last night watching some art movie. Christ, I need a cigarette!”

“Art my ass,” Sean drawled. He sat his knife on the counter and strode toward the stairway that led to the upstairs bedrooms. “He can chop as well as the next guy.” He took the stairs two at a time, muttering under his breath, “And a damn sight _better_ than some.”

It took all three of them to get the stuffing and turkey into the oven by 9:00 a.m. Sean was, frankly, astonished that neither Mack nor Elijah lost a digit, for after Mackenzie joined in, the chopping process became rather frenzied. The three of them fussed and fretted over a recipe for gourmet sweet potatoes with brown sugar and pineapple chunks, and managed to get it into the oven with the baking turkey shortly before Sean’s three daughters arrived.

Elijah tried to hang back as Sean and Mackenzie greeted the girls, but Sean refused to permit it. He hugged Elijah close to him with one arm, embracing his daughters one at a time with the other. When Elizabeth approached her father, Elijah tried again to pull away, but Sean’s arm tightened and his voice growled low in Elijah’s ear: ‘Stop that.”

Smiling, he turned to Elizabeth. “Hi, baby! We’re so glad you’re here.” He kissed the top of her head and hugged her while steadfastly refusing to relinquish his hold on Elijah. “Smell that turkey!” Sean said, grinning.

Elizabeth shot a nervous glance at Elijah but smiled back at Sean. “Smells great, daddy!” Again she glanced at Elijah, who wondered suddenly if she were waiting for **him** to speak.

“Hello, Elizabeth,” Elijah said, holding out his hand. “Thank you for coming.”

She clasped his hand and gave him a small smile. “Thank you.” She hesitated for a moment, then added softly: "I'm sorry I was rude to you."

"That's OK, Elizabeth," Elijah said. "It's a new situation for all of us."

“Well, look at this. One big happy family,” Mack boomed, hugging Elizabeth from behind and kissing her cheek. “Hi, baby. Uncle Mack cooked you a fantastic Thanksgiving dinner. Don’t let your father and Elijah try to take any credit. Trust me. I did all the work!”

“Hey!” Sean shot back, giving his brother a fake punch in the arm while Elizabeth grinned.

“Well,” Mack said in a conspiratorial whisper. “The **good** parts were all me.”

Anna Pierce arrived moments later and was immediately enveloped by her children and grandchildren. Elijah was able to hang back this time, and for a long moment he watched them, as they hugged and kissed, feeling alone and rather out of place.

Anna greeted her family warmly, then looked around questioningly, her eyes searching the room. “Well where **IS** he?” she enquired of Sean. “Are you trying to hide him from me?”

Sean laughed and beckoned to Elijah who was standing next to the stairway. “C’mere,” he called. “C’mere, baby.”

Elijah slowly approached the family group, feeling like a commoner approaching the throne of the queen. _‘Which may be close to the truth!’_ he thought nervously.

“Hello, Mrs. Pierce,” he said politely, holding out his hand.

Anna gave him a quizzical look then turned to Sean. “You been scaring this boy with stories about me, Sean?” She shook Elijah’s hand firmly. “It’s Anna,” she told him. “Pay no attention to my children and grandchildren,” she told him with a smile. “I’m really not as fierce as they would have you think.”

“Who **me**?” Sean said, hands raised in innocent protest. “Not me, mommy. It was Mack!” He pointed accusingly at his brother who waved dismissively as he chatted with his nieces.

Anna ignored them and linked her arm with Elijah’s. “My god, you are **still** a pretty thing!” she told him warmly. “Come and sit with me and tell me how my son’s doing. I hear he’s about to become a famous director thanks to you.”

“No ma’am!” Elijah said decisively. “It is absolutely **not** thanks to me! Who told you that?”

Anna winked at him as they took a seat on the white leather couch and tilted her head toward Sean, who was taking her luggage upstairs, followed by the three chattering girls.

“No,” Elijah said firmly. “That’s just not true. He was chosen because of his work on educational TV, not because of anything I did or said. And he did a superb job.”

“I know,” Anna told him, patting his hand. “I was just teasing.” She gave him a scrutinizing look then smiled. “Relax, kid. I’m not against you and Sean. In fact, I’m 100% behind you.”

“Thank you,” Elijah said quietly. “I wish everyone was.”

“She’ll come around,” Anna said confidently. “And if she doesn’t…,” she shrugged “… she doesn’t. Life goes on.”

“But it hurts Sean so badly,” Elijah said in a low voice.

“He has to let her go,” Anna said. “He has to live his own life and let her live hers. He has to let her be who she is, even if it doesn’t always jibe with what he wants her to be. She’s here, isn’t she?”

“Yeah,” Elijah said, laughing. “She is.”

Anna sighed. “He’s not going to get everyone’s unequivocal approval for everything he does,” she said quietly. “And that’s always going to be hard on him. She turned back to Elijah. “I hope you can help him work it through, Elijah.”

Elijah understood Sean’s need for approval better than anyone. Understood its source. Understood the need that drove it. And as he looked into Anna’s eyes, he knew that she understood it, too. The violent disapproval Sean had constantly received as a child because of Anna’s undiagnosed illness had created a wound from which he would never fully heal. He saw the sadness in Anna’s eyes. He saw the guilt.

He glanced up as Sean and the girls re-entered the great room. Elizabeth and Isabella were both clinging to their father’s hands while he engaged in teasing banter with Ally about her college grades. He smiled and turned back to Sean's mother. “Anna, he’s a happy person most of the time… at least he is now. And he’s a good person. The most loving soul I have ever encountered. You raised him, and clearly you did much that was right.”

Anna smiled her thanks, and Elijah patted her hand. “I love him,” he said simply. “And I’ll always do everything within my power to show it.”

“C’mon, mommy dearest,” Sean said, suddenly appearing beside them and taking his mother’s hand with a grin. “Elijah and I will show you the grounds.”

The day was one of the happiest they’d spent together since returning to the United States. Dinner was delicious, and a mood of warmth and merriment permeated the gathering. Elijah had never felt as much a part of their family as he did on this day, and seeing Sean’s heartfelt delight at having his family gathered together in their home on Thanksgiving Day filled Elijah with a joy so intense that his eyes burned with unshed tears.

Elizabeth, while not exuding warmth toward Elijah, still treated him with courtesy. They exchanged several friendly comments, and she joined in the general laughter and good feelings of the day without reservation.

Together they trimmed Sean and Elijah’s Christmas tree, drinking eggnog, singing carols, and teasing Sean mercilessly about his grandiose and somewhat off-key rendition of ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’. By the end of the day, when everyone except Anna was headed home, Elijah felt a renewed sense of hope that everything would, indeed, turn out alright in the end.


	6. Time After Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their movie premieres, but things definitely do **not** go as expected; Sean asks an important question; and Sean and Chris both confront Elizabeth.

The premiere was only days away, and media attention had become so intense that Sean declared a moratorium on interviews. He refused to talk to the press until after the film’s release and begged Elijah to do the same until he finally complied. Thus they were able to spend the final days before their film’s premiere in comparative peace in their Topanga Canyon retreat.

The night of the premiere was bittersweet for both of them. Elijah had been ready for hours, and now he paced their room like a caged tiger, watching as Sean donned his best tuxedo.

“Baby, please!” Sean implored when he turned and nearly tripped over Elijah for the fifth time that night. “Would you light somewhere and try to relax?”

Elijah lit another cigarette and growled something unintelligible as he continued to pace.

“You look wonderful,” Sean told him with a smile. “I remember when you could barely fill out a tux, but just look at you now.” To his eyes, Elijah had never appeared more handsome. He exuded a sophisticated elegance that took Sean's breath away. “I said it years ago, and I’ll say it again,” he told Elijah, reaching out as he passed to caress his cheek. “You just **look** like a movie star.”

“Well, **this** movie star is a nervous wreck. What time are the girls arriving?”

Ally and Isabella were joining them at the premiere. Elizabeth, to their immense disappointment, refused to attend. Her attitude toward Elijah seemed to have softened somewhat, but she was still uncomfortable with the idea of appearing with them in public. Sean doggedly suppressed any bitterness or hurt he felt because of his middle daughter’s absence. He and Elijah had worked tremendously hard on this movie and Sean was proud of what they had accomplished. He wanted this night to be a triumph for both of them, and would not allow anything to mar their happiness.

“They should be here within a half hour,” he said, attempting to tie his tie. “Damn! I never could do this. Lij? Can you?” Elijah tied it for him, his cigarette stuck momentarily in the corner of his mouth. Then, blinking smoke out of his eyes, he held Sean’s coat as he shrugged into it, and turned Sean to face him. “You look incredibly handsome,” Elijah said, both palms resting on Sean’s broad shoulders.

Sean blushed, then scowled and grabbed Elijah’s cigarette, crushing it out in a nearby ashtray. “You promised, remember?”

“I know. I know.” Elijah had cut down to only two or three cigarettes a day, and those were usually smoked outside. “I’m just so fucking nervous tonight.”

Sean checked his watch and then grabbed Elijah’s arm. ”Come on, babe. The car will be here soon. Damn, I wish the girls would get their butts in gear! They’re late.”

The girls arrived at nearly the same moment as Sean and Elijah’s stretch limo. They were dressed beautifully and could barely contain their excitement at being part of their father’s big night. Within minutes they had all piled into the limo, which quickly headed downtown.

The premiere of ‘Witness To History’ was being held at the ArcLight Theater in Los Angeles. As the limo approached the theater, Sean could see that crowds had gathered along Sunset Boulevard, lining the street for several blocks. Bright lights blazed in the theater’s beautiful patio entranceway and a red carpet had been laid along the barrier that separated the celebrity arrivals from the press.

Elijah shot a quick glance to his right as he emerged from the limo and spotted ‘Amoeba Music’ on the opposite corner from the theater. He nudged Sean’s arm. “Remember going there?” he asked, lifting his voice to be heard over the din of the press calls and fan outcries.

“God, yes,” Sean replied, helping Alexandra and Isabella out of the car. “Back in the days when you thought I might still be capable of learning something about music.”

Elijah laughed and took Isabella’s hand. “You’re still not beyond hope,” he said, grinning.

They walked down the red carpet, Sean with Alexandra on his arm, Elijah behind them holding Isabella’s hand. Elijah could feel her trembling either with excitement or nervousness, and squeezed her hand to reassure her. “It’ll be fine, sweetie,” he murmured softly. “Don’t let this mob make you nervous.”

Sean blinked in the glare of the lights and sucked in a deep, tremulous breath. With a pounding heart, he walked slowly forward, imbued for the moment with a heightened sense of awareness that left him tingling all over. He struggled to engrave every sight and sound onto his consciousness. _‘I want to remember this always,’_ he thought. He knew that this moment was a high point in his life, one he hoped to remember joyfully for the rest of his days.

The spectator tumult had reached a new peak when Sean and Elijah walked onto the red carpet. Ever mindful of his fans, Elijah nudged Sean’s arm and nodded toward the fan barricade on the opposite side of Sunset. “Want to go sign a few?” he asked happily.

“Sure! Let’s just chat with ‘E’ first. Derek’s waving us over. Then we’ll go across the street.” He turned to his eldest daughter. “Ally, would you and Isabella wait inside the theater for us while we do this interview? Just take a second.” He signaled an aide, and asked him to escort his daughters to a private spot where they could wait, then he and Elijah walked to where the film crew from ‘E’ stood waiting.

The reporter, Derek, was a young man who had interviewed Sean and Elijah while the movie was still being filmed. He was bright, articulate, and seemed genuinely interested in the historical significance of their project. Sean had liked him immediately, and had given him permission to ‘hang out’ on the set for several days, interviewing cast members and department heads.

Sean and Elijah were both in radiant good humor and they greeted him enthusiastically. This was their night, and they were eager both to promote their film to the waiting world, and to bask a bit in the acclaim that always accompanied the premiere of a highly anticipated motion picture.

“Hi, Derek,” Sean said, shaking his hand and grinning. “Good to see you again!” He felt effervescent. Excitement and happiness fizzed through his veins leaving him nearly giddy with the joy of the moment. He was acutely aware of Elijah at his side, laughing with Derek, responding to questions about the film. Sean yearned to touch him. To wrap him in the glowing exhilaration that tingled in every atom of Sean’s being.

Then Derek asked Elijah another question and as he did, the exhilarating warmth flooding through Sean's veins changed suddenly to bitter ice-water and he reeled as though struck.

 _“Is it true that you two are living together as a gay couple in a place out in Topanga Canyon?”_

Elijah stood in stunned silence. The mood of the interview had changed with such abrupt force that for a moment he was incapable of response. Sean recovered first.

“Yes,” he said in a low calm voice. “It is absolutely true. You know that, Derek. You spent many days on the set with us while we were filming the movie. We certainly made no effort to hide our relationship, nor did we have any intention of lying about it. You know that as well. And I’m rather forced to wonder why you waited until now to ask us about it.”

Derek started to speak, but Sean interrupted him smoothly. “Using us to enhance your career, perhaps? Waiting to ‘expose’ us until you could find a bigger spotlight?”

Sean sensed movement beside him and shot a sideways glance at Elijah. He was standing with clenched fists, trembling with rage. Sean felt sure that in another moment Elijah would punch Derek's lights out right there on the red carpet. He laid a gentle hand on Elijah's arm and moved smoothly to stand between him and the now-stammering reporter. “Derek, your methods here were completely underhanded. I won’t reward you by telling you anything about Elijah and me. Our story will go to someone else.”

Derek was still trying to form a response as Sean took Elijah’s arm and moved him away.

“That " **FUCKER! "** ” Elijah fumed, twisting away from Sean’s arm to glare back at Derek, still half-thinking of walking back to give him a piece of his mind.. if not a solid punch to the jaw. “That fucking low life!”

“Never mind that now,” Sean said urgently, moving him swiftly toward the theater entrance. “We’ll take care of him later. Right now we have to pick someone to talk to about all this, and we have to do it fast. We’ve just been ‘outed’ on national television, and we need to get behind this story before Derek gets the **chance** to capitalize on it. **WHO** , Elijah? Who in the press corps should we talk to about this?”

Elijah nodded toward a female reporter who worked for ‘Entertainment Weekly’. “Let’s talk to her. She’s always seemed really nice.”

“Yeah,” Sean said dryly, heading toward the reporter. “So did Derek.”

“Excuse me,” Elijah said when they reached her. “Isn’t your name Clarissa?”

She beamed at him, obviously thrilled that Elijah recognized her. “Why, yes it is, Mr. Wood. Would you be willing to answer a few questions for ‘Entertainment Weekly’?”

“Yeah, we would.” Elijah said, taking her arm. “Come inside with us, and bring your camera crew. We’re about to give you an exclusive.”

They didn’t have much time. The movie was due to begin in just forty-five minutes. The crew set up their cameras in a quiet alcove where three chairs were quickly provided for Sean, Elijah, and Clarissa.

Sean had quickly explained the situation to her as they walked, and asked if she would be willing to conduct a dignified, respectful interview that would give them the opportunity to clarify their position. She agreed immediately, and in a very few minutes, the cameras were rolling.

“Mr. Astin,” she said quietly. “You’ve just informed me that you and Mr. Wood are sharing a home in Topanga Canyon, living together as a gay couple. Is this true? And if so, how long have you been together?”

Sean took a deep, trembling breath. He couldn’t remember ever having felt this nervous… this frightened. For himself, he didn’t care. But he quaked with fear that this revelation would damage Elijah’s flourishing career… not to mention do harm to the movie that was so important to them and to a lot of people they cared about.

“Mr. Wood…” he began, then stopped and glanced at Elijah who was gazing at him with glowing eyes. “Elijah and I have had very strong feelings for each other for fifteen years. But when we first…” Sean hesitated and swallowed hard. “… when we first fell in love, I was a married man with children. We both decided that we would not – could not – take any step at that time that would hurt my daughters, or the fine lady who was my wife.”

He turned to Elijah as if asking if he wanted to add anything. But Elijah simply shook his head and nodded toward the microphone. “You’re doing fine,” he said softly.

“Elijah moved to Paris, where he has lived until recently. We did not see each other for over ten years. And I want to say right here... right now… that those ten years were extremely sad and lonely ones for me.” Sean stopped, feeling emotion beginning to overwhelm him. Then he felt Elijah’s hand take his and squeeze it gently.

“Go on, Sean,” he whispered.

“My wife and I divorced three years ago, though we remain close friends.” He looked up into the cameras and spoke with openness and dignified sincerity. “I’ve loved Elijah since the day I met him. When we finally saw each other again we realized at once that we both felt exactly the same way. We knew we were still in love and we knew that we wanted to spend our lives together. So he moved back to the United States, and we recently bought a home in Topanga Canyon.”

Sean’s eyes were glistening and his hand trembled as it rested trustingly in Elijah’s, but he looked into the camera with unflinchingly honesty. “We’ve waited a long time to have the happiness we now share. And I plan to make sure that we never lose it again.” He cleared his throat and glanced at Clarissa. “That’s it,” he said quietly.

“Thank you, Mr. Astin,” Clarissa said. She offered the microphone to Elijah who shook his head. “I don’t have a thing to add. Sean said it all.”

“Well, I have something to add,” a voice from behind them rang out.

Alexandra Astin walked onto the tiny set with Isabella right behind her. Sean lifted his hand to stop the camera from filming his daughters, but they both pushed past him and knelt on the floor in front of Sean and Elijah’s chairs.

Clarissa looked questioningly at Sean, who shrugged helplessly, giving his permission. “Miss Astin? Would you like to say something?”

“I would,” Alexandra said firmly. “I’d like to say that my sisters and I are overjoyed that our father and our Uncle Elijah are together again. They are two of the finest men alive, and we love them. I consider both these men my father.”

“And I do too,” Isabella piped.

“And now,” Alexandra said, getting to her feet. “We have a movie to see! And it’s getting late. Daddy?” Sean kissed each of the girls as he rose, then watched as they left to take their seats in the theater. He and Elijah shook hands with Clarissa and expressed their deepest gratitude to her. But when Sean began to follow Alexandra and Isabella, Elijah caught his arm and prevented him. “I want you to know something,” he said softly.

Still trembling with emotion, Sean stared down at the floor, fighting for composure. “Lij…,” he started, then stopped, unable to speak.

Elijah's fingers closed more tightly on Sean's arm as he leaned closer, his lips almost touching Sean’s ear. “I want you to know…” he whispered hoarsely, “…that I have never loved you as much as I love you at this moment.”

From ahead of them Alexandra called back, “Daddy? Uncle Lijah? They’re waiting for you two to come in so they can start the movie.”

Sean’s head came up and for a long moment their eyes met. Then he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Elijah’s cheek. “This is our night,” he murmured, still fighting back tears. “They can’t start it without us. Let's go in.”

The party after the premiere was held at the Arclight Theater's cocktail lounge. Sean and Elijah received a prolonged standing ovation when they entered with Ally and Isabella. The entire room had heard about their encounter with the ‘E’ reporter, Derek, and most had seen the ensuing interview with Clarissa. The cast and crew of ‘Witness to History’ were nearly unanimous in their wholehearted support of their director and leading man, and were trying their hardest to show it.

The uproar continued for some time, while Sean and Elijah stood hesitantly in the doorway, trying repeatedly, to no avail, to quell the rousing tribute. After awhile the tumult faded, and Elijah shoved Sean to a microphone which had been set up on a small riser.

“Lij! Stay with me!” Sean pleaded, grabbing at the sleeve of his jacket as Elijah backed away from the podium. Smiling happily, Elijah shook his head, and took his place among their friends, applauding with the rest as their director tried to stammer out his thanks.

“He deserted me!” Sean began, laughing and pointing at Elijah who gazed up at him with shining eyes. The company laughed, then quieted so Sean could be heard.

“First, I want to say I’m so sorry if tonight’s revelation ends up doing anything to damage this movie’s chances. You’ve all worked incredibly hard, and you have created something extraordinary.”

The room rang with applause.

Sean was silent for a moment, looking down, obviously fighting to keep his emotions in check. “Second,” he said in a choked whisper, “I want to thank you for putting up with me…”

Loud cheers and cries of ‘We love you!’ came from the crowd.

Sean smiled. “There were times when you didn’t love me… and for good reason.” He lifted his hands, pleading for quiet, and the room slowly stilled.

“I want to thank you for not only putting up with me… but for working your hearts out on this film. No one ever had a better crew. No one ever had a finer cast. Please have a great time tonight, all of you. You’ve earned it.”

Again, the room rang with applause.

“And lastly,” Sean said, “I want to thank my leading man.” He gazed at Elijah. “Not only my leading man on this film, but in my life and heart as well.” He bit his lip and the whole room saw his hazel eyes overflow with tears. “As always, you got me through it,” he whispered hoarsely. “Thank you, Elijah.” He left the dais, wiping his eyes with one hand, and stumbled into Elijah’s arms, while the room erupted into deafening cheers and applause.

They turned as one, and waved at the assembly, then moved to join Alexandra, Isabella, Dom, and Viggo who were waiting at the front table. Dom and Viggo were all for forming a posse to go after the young ‘E’ reporter, but Sean vetoed their plan before it could get off the ground. “It was my fault,” he said, shrugging. “I let myself get taken in and I got what was coming to me. I just hope the movie doesn’t suffer because of it.”

“Are you _kidding_?” Dom asked, incredulous. “It’s exactly as I told you it would be. The press is vilifying him, and you two are coming off as brave, honest lovers who were the victims of a mercenary, deceitful reporter. Couldn't have worked out better if I'd planned it myself… which I _didn't_!” he added hastily as Sean shot him a quick glance.

“I can’t see it hurting the film,” Viggo drawled. “If anything, it’ll help it.”

Sean wished he could believe it, but his handsome face was still twisted with doubt. Then he shook it off and smiled. “Hey, whatever happens, I know we’ve done a good film.” He grabbed his wineglass from Isabella, who was trying to steal a sip, and lifted it toward his friends. “Here’s to all of you. I could never have done it without your help.”

The party was a roaring success. Glasses were raised again and again during the course of the night. The ‘Witness To History’ cast and crew stopped by the front table in droves to express support for their director and leading man, and outrage at the way they were treated.

It was late when Sean and Elijah stumbled to their limo for the ride home. They didn’t speak as their driver skillfully maneuvered the car through the dark Los Angeles streets. After awhile Sean took Elijah’s hand in his and they looked into each other’s eyes, each of them feeling the same sense of almost overwhelming exhilaration. Even with the evening’s unexpected turn of events… tonight had been an unconditional triumph.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In spite of their late arrival at home, Sean was up at the crack of dawn and, still in his pajamas, drove to several news-stands to buy up the early morning papers. He couldn’t wait to see what the critics had to say about his film, and he was reading the reviews over his morning coffee when Elijah joined him at the table.

“Well?” Elijah asked, reaching for a roll while Gabrielle poured him a coffee of his own. “What do they say? You gonna just sit there and keep me in suspense?”

Sean looked up at him, his eyes so filled with happiness and pride that they glittered topaz in the early morning sunshine that flooded their dining room. He lifted his paper and read:

>  _“Director Sean Astin defies expectations and triumphs over this town’s customary expectations of what a film career should be. His motion picture directorial debut in ‘Witness To History’ offers us a deeply moving portrayal of the life and times of John Hersey, Pulitzer Prize winner and celebrated World War II journalist. But Astin and his talented cast do more than create a biography of a man, they provide us with a penetrating look into a momentous era in the life of a nation. ‘Witness To History’ is an elegant, sensitive tribute to those times and to the courageous people who inhabit them._

  
Sean smiled at Elijah. “Not bad for an old has-been,” he commented, his smile broadening.

“Is there more?” Elijah asked eagerly, seating himself next to Sean and trying to peer past his arm at the paper. “Jesus, Sean!”

Sean could see Elijah’s hands shaking. “Yeah,” he said softly, kissing Elijah’s cheek. “There’s more.” He began to read once again.

>  _Elijah Wood and Launa Fendrick are electrifying as Hersey and his wife Barbara. Wood, fresh from last year’s Oscar win, portrays Hersey with a poignant authority that dominates the film, first frame to last. He seldom fails to deliver a stellar performance, and this offering is no exception._
> 
>  _As both an epic tale of a nation caught in the trauma of war and as a historical piece chronicling the life of one man, ‘Witness To History’ moves the heart and mesmerizes the spirit. In this reporter’s opinion, it will dominate during this year’s Oscars race.”_

“My god, Sean!” Elijah cried. “Are they **all** that good?”

“More or less,” Sean said with quiet pride. “Jesus, Elijah. I can hardly believe it.”

They both began poring over the newspapers, reading particularly favorable passages aloud to each other, and to Gabrielle who had joined them at the table.

“I am so proud of both of you,” she said, beaming. “You will have another of the golden men to put on your mantle, Mister Elijah!”

“It’s an Oscar, Gabby,” Elijah said, grinning. “And my golden men aren’t on the mantle. They’re still in a box somewhere.”

“Well let’s find them wherever they are,” Sean said, ruffling his hair. “You’re going to get a new one this spring to join them. They deserve a spot of honor.”

“Top of the fridge?” Elijah teased, and they both laughed.

As they finished reading through the various reviews, they were thrilled to discover that the critics were nearly unanimous in their praise of ‘Witness To History’. Most paid tribute to Sean’s directorial skills, expressing both admiration and surprise that it had taken this long for someone of his evident talent to enter this area of filmmaking. Elijah’s performance and that of his leading lady were also lauded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Within a week, the buzz around town was that in spite of… and perhaps **because** of… the astounding revelation on the night of the film’s premiere, ‘Witness To History’ would be a very strong contender in this year’s Academy Awards race.

They were besieged with requests for interviews, and the press asked them again and again to elaborate on the surprising disclosure about their relationship. But they quietly refused to be interviewed on the subject. Reporters were informed that they had said all they intended to say on the night of the premiere. Any further details, Sean and Elijah informed them, were a private matter, one that was not open for discussion.

In spite of their refusal to discuss the matter, the incident garnered nearly universal sympathy and support for both of them. Most entertainment websites and television shows expressed indignation at the tactics used by their fellow reporter, and unqualified admiration for the way Sean handled the situation.

“You two,” Dom observed the following weekend, “are the new gay poster boys.”

Sean’s exaggerated grimace elicited gales of laughter from Elijah and Dom.

“Knock it off, you two!” Sean barked, swatting at both of them with a rolled up magazine. “Jesus! It’s worse than living in a monkey cage!”

“Oh, Sean!” Elijah said. “Relax! It’s true in a way. The gay community has been 100% behind us!”

“Ahhhh, whatever,” Sean growled. “I’m thrilled that the gay community sees us as a _cause celebre_. But that is NOT the way I wanted our relationship to be announced.”

“What way did YOU have in mind?” Dom asked, grinning. “Tip-toe to your patio at 1:00 A.M., whisper: ‘Hey, world, Elijah and I are a couple!’, then sneak back into your bedroom and slam the door?”

Elijah tried hard to suppress a giggle and failed. Sean shot him a glower which only caused him to giggle louder. “Seanie,” he said comfortingly, linking his arm through Sean’s. “It’s done! It’s over. We’re out. It’s given us nothing but good press, and everyone really important to us had **already** been told anyway, so no real harm was done. Why worry?”

Sean nodded his agreement. “I know,” he said, shaking off Elijah’s arm and getting to his feet. “I just wanted it to happen differently.” He shrugged. “But you’re right. It’s over now. No sense worrying.”

He patted Elijah’s arm and then headed toward the stairs.

“What’s eating him?” Dom asked, watching Sean go.

“I dunno,” Elijah said, getting up himself. “But I’m going to find out right now. Back in a few.” He followed after Sean, bounding up the stairs three at a time. Sean was sprawled on their bed when he walked in, so Elijah went and lay down beside him. Sean immediately wrapped his arm around Elijah’s shoulders, pulling him snugly against his body.

“What’s up?” Elijah asked.

“Hmm?”

“What’s bothering you? And I know something is,” he added quickly when Sean opened his mouth to protest, “so spare me the bullshit.”

“Oh,” Sean sighed, “I just hate the way it all happened, that’s all. And I feel responsible. I let that guy hang out on the set because he schmoozed me a little bit. Ahhhh…” he shook his head in self disgust.

“It wasn’t anyone’s fault,” Elijah said, running his fingers slowly through Sean’s sandy curls. “And I don’t understand why it matters. So what? We’re fine!”

Sean stared up at the ceiling, and sighed again. “I guess – I guess I just had it all figured out in my mind how things were going to happen. Or I thought I did.”

“What ‘things’?” Elijah wanted to know. “You had our ‘coming out’ planned in your head?”

“In a way, yeah.”

“And that stupid reporter screwed it up?”

Sean could hear the suppressed giggle in Elijah’s voice. He shot Elijah a quick glance and when he saw the twinkle in his blue eyes he grinned sheepishly. “I know. I’m being silly.”

“Well, a little,” Elijah admitted. “But I still feel there’s more to it. Something you’re not telling me.” The blue eyes scrutinized him for a long moment. “C’mon, Sean.”

Sean sighed and turned to face Elijah, scooting another inch closer to him. “There **is** something. Something I’ve been wanting… meaning… to discuss with you.”

A soft breeze brought a breath of sweet air into the darkening room. Sean took Elijah’s hand in his and linked their fingers. Then he lifted Elijah’s hand and pressed it to his lips, his gaze locked on the blue eyes of his young lover. There was no sound except the soft whisper of the curtains at the windows.

“Lij,’ Sean said finally, “will you promise me that you’ll answer me with complete honesty when I ask you this question?”

“Of course,” Elijah said, his brows furrowing. “What is this, Sean? You’re starting to scare me.”

Sean shook his head and laughed softly. “Don’t be scared. It’s important, but not bad.”

“Well for fuck’s sake **ask** ,” Elijah begged. “Stop teasing!”

“OK.” But he was silent another moment or two, and Elijah could see he was gathering his thoughts, and perhaps his courage, to ask something that he obviously considered momentous. Elijah waited, determined not to interrupt.

Finally Sean took a deep breath. “Before I ask you my question, you need to know that it’s not going to mean what you may think it means… not exactly anyway.” He glanced up at Elijah, who looked thoroughly confused.

“OK,” Sean said quietly. “Here goes.” He took another deep breath and held Elijah’s hand tighter, still gazing into his eyes. “Elijah… will you marry me?”

Elijah’s mouth dropped open in shocked surprise. “Ma – marry?” he stammered. “But, you said it didn’t mean what I may think it means. So you’re asking me to marry you… but not?”

“Not exactly. I want us to have a commitment ceremony at the Fellowship reunion. Maybe have Viggo or Ian… or both… officiate. So it would not be a real, legal ‘marriage’ marriage. But I’d like to do it anyway… if you’re willing. If you’d do it.”

“Why don’t we just get married?” Elijah asked. “It’s legal here in California.”

Again, Sean lifted Elijah’s hand to his lips and kissed it. “Baby,” he said softly. “I’d love to do that. And I feel sure we WILL do that one day, if you’re willing. But right now I worry that our marriage would be damaging to your career. Our relationship is in enough of a spotlight as it is. And…” Sean shook his head, his voice dropping to a low murmur, “something in me just doesn’t feel right about doing the same kind of ceremony with you that I did with Chris. I want something _different_ for us. Something unique. You know?”

He glanced at Elijah shyly, praying that he’d understand. “You know?” he asked again.

Elijah’s arms wound around his neck. “Yes,” he said in a choked whisper. “I know.” He pressed his face to Sean’s shoulder.

When Sean leaned back to look into his eyes, Elijah was smiling, but Sean could feel his body trembling. “Lij,” he said. “We don’t have to do it. It’s just a…”

“I’d be proud to marry you,” Elijah interrupted. “A private commitment ceremony, a legal marriage… whatever you want.” He kissed Sean tenderly, stroking the soft grey hair at his temples. “We’ve been married for years where it really counts,” he said, then placed his palm over Sean’s heart. “Right here.”

Sean held him tightly until he felt the trembling cease. “Wow,” Elijah whispered finally. “What do you know! We’re engaged!”

Sean nodded, then grinned impishly. “Ally wanted me to get down on one knee.”

Elijah snickered against his shoulder. “When you’re on one knee… or both knees, I have something in mind for you other than proposing.”

They both laughed softly. “Perv!” Sean growled, nuzzling his shoulder.

“You got THAT right, buddy,” Elijah said, pulling away. “C’mon. Let’s go tell Dom!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Christmas came, the first they’d spent together in many years. Sean’s family, including Elizabeth, gathered at their home, joined later in the day by Dom, Viggo, and a boisterous Orlando Bloom, who captivated Sean’s daughters with outrageous stories of their adventures while making ‘Lord of the Rings’. Elijah’s mother Debbie and siblings Hannah and Zach also joined the gathering.

It was the first time both their families had been together and Sean and Elijah were grateful to their ‘Lord of the Rings’ buddies for providing a lively and often hilarious diversion- even though the families didn’t really seem to need one. Everyone got along famously.

Sean and Elijah smiled at the sight of their two formidable mothers chatting and showing off pictures of grandchildren. And an elegant and incredibly handsome Orlando sat before the fire in deep conversation with Alexandra Astin, a sight that was not lost on her over-protective father.

Elijah, deeply amused by Sean’s glower, walked over to stand next to him. “Problem?” he asked, with a soft nudge.

“Mmmm!” Sean grumbled. He accepted a glass of eggnog from Elijah and tilted his head toward the scene near the fire. “What’s up with THAT?”

“They’re talking, Sean,” Elijah said, taking his arm and dragging him toward the Christmas tree. ‘C’mon. Time to play Santa.”

Sean glanced at him and sighed.

“Hey, she’s all grown up,” Elijah said, tugging on his arm. “You can’t pick her friends.”

Sean nodded and allowed himself to be guided toward the tree.

“Besides,” Elijah added, giggling. “Don’t you think Orli would make a fantastic son-in-law?”

“Sweet Jesus, Elijah!” Sean exclaimed.

“Merry Christmas, baby,” Elijah laughed, and kissed his cheek.

After gifts were dispersed and opened, the family sat together in the great room, talking. The occasion was a celebration as well as a gathering for a holiday feast. The Golden Globe nominations for that year had been announced two weeks earlier, and ‘Witness To History’ had garnered numerous nominations. The movie’s score had been nominated, Elijah was nominated for best actor in a motion picture drama, the movie itself had been nominated for best picture, but most importantly, in Elijah’s opinion at least, Sean had been nominated for best director of a motion picture.

Much of the talk centered on the ‘Fellowship’ reunion that was scheduled to take place shortly after the Golden Globes. Dom, to his immense happiness, had managed to get every one of the 'Fellowship' actors lined up with solemn promises to attend. Ian and JRD could only stay for one day of what was to be a three day get-together, but everyone else had shuffled their schedules until they’d managed to get the entire weekend free.

Thinking of the reunion reminded Sean of something he was yearning to do while both families were together in one room. He got to his feet and walked to the fireplace where he lifted his glass and said, loudly enough to get their attention: “Merry Christmas, everyone!”

Conversation stopped as they all turned to him, lifting their glasses and smiling. “I have something to tell you,” Sean continued. “An announcement.” He glanced at Elijah who was sitting cross-legged on the floor, grinning at him.

"Stop smirking," Sean told him, laughing. "You should be up here too, you know."

Elijah laughed and made gestures with his fingers, clearly suggesting that Sean quit stalling and get on with it.

"But before the announcement, I have another Christmas gift to give out," Sean said. "A special gift. And one I want you all to share in." He turned to the mantle and from behind a picture drew out a small box. Then he turned to Elijah. "Now you **HAVE** to come up here."

There was a sudden buzz of surprised conversation in the room. Sean heard his mother's gasp and Dom's muttered ' _Holy fuck!_ ' Then Elijah was at his side, looking at him with wide eyes.

"Sean?"

Sean held out the box without saying a word.

"Oh my god," Elijah whispered, taking the box. He looked at Sean questioningly. "Sean? What - what - ?"

"Open it," Sean told him.

As Elijah slowly removed the gift wrapping Sean faced the group gathered before the fire. "There's going to be a special event taking place during the 'Fellowship' reunion." Beside him he heard Elijah's gasp of astonishment.

 

"Oh Jesus, Sean," Elijah breathed as he opened the box. Inside were two white-gold interlocking rings. Each was adorned with the 'male' symbol and was enhanced with diamonds that encircled the band. On the inside of each band the letters S and E were intertwined.

"I probably shouldn't have done this without you," Sean said softly. "If you don't like them, we can take them back and get others. I just - ," he hesitated. "I just wanted so much to give them to you for our first Christmas."

In the next moment, Elijah's arms were tight around his neck. "They're perfect!" Elijah whispered, his voice trembling. "I love them!"  
They embraced for a long moment while the gathering behind them waited in silence. Finally Sean heard his mother's voice ring out. "For god's sweet sake, Sean, what the hell's going on? Are you two getting married?"

Sean shook his head. "No. Not yet. Not a legal marriage. That'll come later, I'm sure. But when it does, it will only happen because we want our partnership to have the legal protection it offers. Instead, we're having a commitment ceremony during the ‘Fellowship’ reunion. And as far as we are concerned, this will be the ceremony that counts. This ceremony is going to happen because we want to make a lifelong commitment to each other while all of our friends are gathered together. This will be the ceremony we will remember as our wedding day. It'll be on the Friday of the reunion weekend, because that's when Ian can attend. We very much want all of you to attend as well."

"Yes," Elijah said, looking at them, the box still clutched in his hand. "Please. All of you. Come and share this moment with us." He turned back to Sean and they embraced again.

Mack, Debbie and Anna rushed over for hugs, and to admire the rings. Sean smiled as his mother kissed Elijah’s cheek, then he noticed Alexandra and Elizabeth near the back of the room, in what seemed to be agitated conversation. Alexandra grabbed Elizabeth’s arm and tried to urge her toward Sean and Elijah, but she wrenched it away and walked quickly to the dining room.

Sean felt his heart sink, but said nothing. He would talk to her later, but he felt a sudden fear that this announcement would destroy all the ground they had gained since Thanksgiving. He shook it off and accepted a kiss from Elijah’s mother. Nothing he could do about it now. Nothing he could do about it at all.

“You didn’t tell him?” Debbie said to him, smiling, referring to the rings.

“Nope. I saw the rings and had to have them. It was a completely impulsive purchase.” He chatted affably with Debbie determined to enjoy the moment, but he couldn’t help but glance now and then toward the dining room, where his daughter had wandered off alone.  
As soon as he could, Sean slipped away from the family gathering and went in search of Elizabeth. He found her outside, sitting on the wall that surrounded the patio. Her head was down and she didn't look up as he approached.

"You're missing the fun," her father said gently. "Come back in, baby."

"I won't come," she said stubbornly. "I won't come and see you _'marry'_ him!" She looked up at her father, and Sean saw that her face was streaked with tears. "How can you _DO_ this, Daddy?" she asked angrily. "It's just wrong!"

"You're not asking the right question, Elizabeth. The right question is: feeling the way I do about him, how could I **NOT** do this?" He sat down on the wall beside her. "How could I not make this commitment to him?" Sean continued. "Is it wrong to love someone and want to share your life with them?"

"Like you did with Mama?" she asked sarcastically.

"Yes!" Sean said emphatically. "Like I did with your mother. I owe Elijah no less than I owed to her: to commit myself to our relationship and to give him my promise that I'll do my best to make it work." He turned Elizabeth's face toward him. " **JUST** as I did with your mother."

"I won't come!" she insisted stubbornly.

Sean sighed, his heart aching with sadness. Then he stood up, feeling resolve harden within him. "Elizabeth, this will be one of the most important days in my life. **AS** important as the day I married your mom. **AS** important as the day you and your sisters were born. You’re my daughter… my child. I want you to be there with all my heart. The day won’t be complete for me unless all three of my children are beside me. But, Elizabeth, we are moving forward with this commitment ceremony whether or not you choose to join us. Elijah and I are life partners. We are, and will be, as married as your mother and I were married. We want you to be part of our family circle. But should you choose not to be part of it, we will respect your decision and move forward without you. I will not surrender my happiness again. I did so once, and spent ten years unhappy and alone. I won’t let it go again. I won’t let **HIM** go again. You must decide what you want. No matter what you decide, I love you, and will always love you.” Then he spun on his heel and walked back into the house.

Elizabeth returned to the gathering shortly after Sean. She was subdued for the rest of the evening, and managed to avoid speaking to Elijah or discussing the impending ceremony with anyone present. Sean spoke to her several times, and she answered him pleasantly, but made no reference to their conversation.

Elijah kept his distance. Sean told him briefly of the conversation with his middle daughter, and as much as it broke Elijah's heart to learn of her rejection, and as deeply as he desired to talk with her, he was not about to make the same mistake twice. "I'm sorry, Sean," he said, unhappily. "I'm so very sorry."

Sean gazed at Elizabeth as she spoke quietly to her grandmother. "She doesn't seem angry," he observed. "It's like she's… thinking."

"It'll work out," Elijah told him, pressing his arm. "Have faith, baby."

Sean nodded and kissed his temple. "We'll talk later and I'll tell you what I said to her."

"Hey," Elijah said comfortingly, "we're lucky to have the support we've got. She's the only holdout, and we'll win her over. I know we will."

Sean nodded again distractedly, his attention caught by the sight of Chris, who had just entered the room. Elijah followed his gaze. "Does Chris know about the rings? And the ceremony?"

"Of course," Sean said, turning to grin back at Elijah as he went to meet her. "Actually, I told her first!"

"Before **ME**?" Elijah teased, following after Sean.

"Did I get here too late?" she asked as they approached and kissed her, one on each cheek.

"Yeah, sorry," Sean said, smiling. "I just gave the rings to him a few minutes ago."

"Well, show me!" She urged Elijah, who was fishing in his pocket for the box.

Chris admired the rings. "He was such a wreck about giving them to you!"

"I love them," Elijah said softly, looking up at Sean who smiled at him. "You just can't know what your support means to us, Chris," he added.

She patted Elijah's arm. "How did she take it?" she asked them. Neither one had to ask whom she meant.

"Not well," Sean said, with a sigh. "She told me she won't come to the ceremony. Says it's wrong."

"Well, I'll be there," Chris reassured them. "Provided that I'm invited, of course."

"Of course you're invited!" Elijah said, stammering. "I didn't know if you'd want to - care to - god, yes! It would mean so much to us, Chris."

"We're family," she said firmly. Then she smiled up at Sean and laughed. "Can I bring a date?"

Elijah laughed delightedly at Sean's stunned expression. "A - a date?" Sean stammered.

"Yeah, Sean, a date," Elijah told him, giggling. "As in, with a man." He continued, "At least I'm assuming it's a man."

Chris laughed and walked with them toward the gathering in the great room. "It's a man," she said. "I figure this family can only handle one gay couple at a time."

Chris mingled with the other guests, interacting effortlessly with her former in-laws, teasing and kidding with Dom, Viggo, and Orlando. Sean was carrying a glass of champagne to her when he saw Elizabeth grab her and drag her toward the door leading to the garden. He watched as they walked out, then thoughtfully sipped the champagne himself.

In the garden, Elizabeth immediately turned to her mother. "He's going to **MARRY** him!" she cried. "Mom, aren't you upset?"

"Elizabeth," Chris said calmly, leading her daughter to a nearby bench where they seated themselves. "Your father and I are divorced. He's free to marry whomever he chooses. And he chooses Elijah."

"It's wrong!" her daughter said, her hands twisting in her lap. "It's wrong, mom."

Chris sighed and reached to take Elizabeth's hand. "Honey, don’t be so quick to judge. There **IS** no wrong or right when it comes to love." She was silent for a moment, looking out over the foliage and flowers. Finally she spoke in a soft voice: "You don’t choose who you love, baby. Love chooses **you**. And love chose your father. It chose him the day he and Elijah met."

Chris ignored her daughter's muttered protest and went on, "Your daddy is a good, decent man, Elizabeth. He fought against loving Elijah. He fought against it valiantly, and he surrendered that love for many years. Even though he was lost and alone without it, he stayed with us. He stayed FOR us. Now," she said, "Now it is our time to stand by **him** , and I intend to do so. I will **be** at the commitment ceremony, Elizabeth. I'll be there because he's my friend, and because being with Elijah is the right thing for your father. It’s where his heart is. It’s where love is for him.”

Elizabeth lowered her head, but said nothing. Chris stood and tugged on her hand. "Let's go back in. And remember this, kiddo. Love will choose **you** some day. And when it does, you're not going to want the people you love to judge it. You're going to want them to accept it and be happy for you. You owe that same acceptance to your father."

Sean saw them walk back in, but decided to say nothing further about the matter. He had to let Elizabeth choose her own path. He looked around for Elijah, who was nowhere in sight. Not spying him, he grabbed Orlando's shoulder. "Hey, you seen Lij?"

"Headed toward the kitchen a few minutes ago, mate," Orlando said with a grin.

"And quit flirting with my daughter," Sean growled, lightly punching Orlando's arm.

"But, Sean," Orlando whined. "She's beautiful!" Sean raised a clenched fist and shook it teasingly in Orlando's face. "OK, OK," he said, laughing. "I wasn't flirting anyway. But relax, daddy. I won't make nice on your baby."

Sean muttered something unintelligible as he walked away. He met Elijah coming out the kitchen door and Elijah immediately grabbed Sean's arm. "I want to show you something," he said, and handed Sean a piece of paper. "I want your permission to give this to Elizabeth."

Sean read the note.

"Please let me give it to her, Sean," Elijah begged. "I want to try to help. Please let me."

Sean looked up, his eyes shining, and returned the note to Elijah. "Go ahead," he said. "Give it to her."

Elijah squeezed his hand before going to Elizabeth, who was seated in conversation with her mother and grandmother. They all looked up as he approached.

"This is for you, Elizabeth," he said, holding out the note. "Please read it."

She glanced at her grandmother, who poked her with an elbow. "Read it!" Anna barked. "For heaven's sake, child. Reading the damned note won't kill you."

Chris smothered a smile as Elizabeth slowly took the note from Elijah's hand. He didn’t wait, but walked into the dining room as she opened it and slowly read:

> _"Elizabeth, please forgive me if the announcement of our commitment ceremony upset you. That is the last thing I would ever want to do. You are so very important in your father’s life, every bit as important as I am. I’m asking you… I’m begging you… to please give us a chance. Come to our ceremony. As much as your father loves me, his heart will break in two if you’re not there. He's such a good guy, Elizabeth. Please don't do this to him. Be part of our family. We need you._
> 
>  _Love, Elijah."_

"Damned good note if you ask me," Anna commented, reading over her granddaughter's shoulder. "You need to give them a chance, Lizzie. They deserve it."

Elizabeth looked at her grandmother, then went to her father, who was had taken a seat next to Mackenzie.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, baby?”

“Do I have to decide tonight?”

“No!” Sean told her. He reached out and took her hand. “There are a few weeks until the ceremony. Of course you don’t have to decide tonight.”

She smiled at him, and bent to kiss his cheek, then walked back and reseated herself next to her mother.

Elijah saw the exchange and ran to Sean. “Did she change her mind?” he asked excitedly, kneeling in front of the two brothers. “Is she coming?”

“She said she’d like some time to think it over,” Sean told him. “I told her that was fine.”

Horribly disappointed, Elijah lowered his head, resting it against Sean’s knee. “God damn it!” he said miserably. “How can you stand it?” he asked in a low voice. “How can you just sit there so calmly in the face of this kind of rejection?”

Sean shrugged and looked away. “What do you want me to **DO** , Elijah? Spank her? Ground her? **FORCE** her to attend? Would that make her love and accept us?”

“No!” Elijah said, looking up. “I just – god! I just -,” he floundered, stammering, then shook his head and stood up.

“Elijah, I know you want it all to happen right now. Tonight. But it’s not going to. This kind of stuff takes time.”

“Gee, thanks, dad,” Elijah said, an edge of sarcasm in his voice. “Where the hell would I be without your maturity… your wisdom… your grasp of the obvious?”

“Elijah…,” Sean began, reaching for his hand.

“I’m sorry,” Elijah said quickly, taking Sean’s hand in his and squeezing it. “It’s late and I’m tired. You’re right, of course.” He smiled at Sean, then rapped the top of Mackenzie’s head with his knuckles and wandered to the other side of the room where Dom and Orlando were chatting with Hannah.

Sean watched him go, a sense of overwhelming grief choking him. On this day, of all days, it broke his heart for there to be even the slightest discord between them. He fought off a surge of anger. He wouldn’t know where to direct it anyway. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. It was simply a crappy situation that he was helpless to repair.

“It’ll turn out alright, bro,” Mackenzie said quietly. “Lizzie will stop being bratty, and the ceremony will go off without a hitch. It’ll all be alright.”

“I wonder,” Sean said, his voice weary.

"He doesn't have kids," Mack continued. "He doesn’t understand. But he will, Sean. Just give him time."

"I'll give him all the time he wants or needs," Sean said, sighing. "I just hope this situation doesn't end up damaging our relationship."

"It won't!" Mack exclaimed. "Sean, it won't. Elijah loves you!"

"And I love **HIM** ," Sean asserted. "But sometimes love isn't enough, Mack. You know that." He sighed again. "Sometimes it's just not enough."


	7. Time After Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hollywood slaps their wrists at the Golden Globes but a ceremony and a reunion heal the wounds.

The new year came and went without incident. Sean and Elijah stayed home on New Year's Eve, and spent a quiet evening alone in front of their fire, all problems temporarily forgotten.

They saw very little of the girls in the time leading up to the Golden Globes, though Sean talked to them nearly every day. Elizabeth had not mentioned the commitment ceremony again, and with a sinking heart, Sean steeled himself to accept her refusal to attend. He knew that his joy on this most important day in his life would be greatly diminished if she weren't there. But he was determined not to let his disappointment mar their day. Elijah deserved to see him happy.

They attended the Golden Globes together, and alone. Sean wanted his family there, but feared a press storm about their relationship, and wanted to avoid any PR spin that implied he was using his daughters as a shield for him and Elijah.

But his fears proved unfounded. To their immense relief, they received good treatment from the press on the red carpet. No one asked about their relationship. All of the questions put to them pertained to their movie and their hopes for its success during this awards season.

Several film critics associations across the country had already named 'Witness To History' the year's best picture. Sean and Elijah had also scored wins from these groups in their respective categories. But the awards given tonight at the Golden Globes and those offered at the Academy Awards were the crowning achievements for any film.

Thus, they were disappointed when ‘Witness to History’ won for ‘Best Score’ and ‘Best Song’, but in no other category. They did their best to hide it, and offered sincere congratulations to the winners. On the way out, Elijah was cornered by a reporter who asked him if he thought the relatively poor showing of ‘Witness to History’ was connected in any way to the revelation about the relationship between him and Sean.

Elijah stared hard at the reporter for a long moment, then spoke in a low, calm voice. “It's an honor even to be nominated. I think the films that prevailed tonight did so because the foreign press thought they were the best of the films presented. I may not agree with their decision, but I would never, **ever** question their motives.” He grabbed Sean’s arm and walked away before the reporter could ask another question.

“God **DAMN** it!” Elijah fumed as they waited for their car to be brought around. “Bad enough to lose, but to have to have our relationship offered up as the reason for it. It’s galling!”

Sean’s hands were jammed into his pants’ pockets and he gazed thoughtfully down at the pavement. “Why be upset by it?” he asked finally, shrugging his broad shoulders. “It's undoubtedly true. And frankly, I’m surprised it wasn’t worse.”

“But, Jesus, Sean…,” Elijah began, then stopped. He could see that Sean was tired and further, that he was beginning to show his sadness and disappointment that their film had not fared better tonight. “Hey,” Elijah said softly, laying a hand on his arm. “It’s OK, you know. We were nominated. And we’ve gotten rave reviews.” But he knew what was on Sean's mind because it also haunted **his** thoughts.

The ‘Fellowship’ reunion was on for the coming weekend. They had been so busy making arrangements to host their friends and preparing for their upcoming ceremony that they had nearly forgotten about the Oscar nominations that were being announced within days.

Now as they waited for their car, Elijah found himself warding off butterflies every time it crossed his mind. Not for himself. He truly didn’t care one way or the other if he was nominated or not. But he ached to see Sean receive the recognition that Elijah firmly believed was his due. Sean never spoke of it one way or the other, but Elijah knew that in his heart of hearts, Sean deeply desired this honor, the highest his profession could offer. Elijah would have felt more confident if they had walked away tonight with at least _one_ of the top Golden Globe honors. But he refused to give up hope.

As their car pulled up, Sean wrapped an arm around Elijah’s shoulder and snuggled him to his side, totally indifferent to the cameras and fans surrounding them. “I’ll just be glad to get home,” he whispered.

Elijah returned his hug, his face pressed against Sean's shoulder. “Me too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next few days were spent helping Gabrielle and the caterers decorate the house for both the 'Fellowship' reunion and their commitment ceremony. It was now the night before the festivities were to begin. Dom was picking Billy up at the airport, then bringing him back to Topanga Canyon where they were staying for the weekend. Sean Bean had arrived the night before, and was happily ensconced at Viggo's home, only a mile or so away. Orlando would be joining them for the ceremony tomorrow.

Ian and John Rhys-Davies were staying at expensive hotels in Hollywood. They were having dinner together, and would be at the reunion for only one day, Friday.

Viggo and Ian were both officiating at the ceremony. Viggo was to oversee the giving of the rings, and Ian would be the celebrant during the exchange of vows. Elijah had spoken to Ian before he flew to the U.S. to ask if he would consent to this request, and he agreed at once.

"My dear boy," he told Elijah in his inimitable accent, "I am honored! I do hope you don't have a script for me. I'd prefer to speak from the heart."

"And that's just what we want you to do," Elijah said, delighted. "I can't wait to see you, Ian!"

Sean and Elijah were writing their own vows for the commitment ceremony, and both of them swore that it was the toughest assignment they'd ever had. Often in recent evenings they had gone to separate parts of the house to sit quietly alone and work on their vows. They had an outline that guided them, but the words would be uniquely theirs.

Sitting in the tiny office he had created for himself in the pool-house studio, Sean struggled to find the words with which he would bind himself to Elijah forever. _’My god,’_ he thought, putting down his pen. _‘I’ll never find a way to say what my heart really feels for him.’_ He thought back to New Zealand… to that time in his life that, to this day, he could not ponder without wrenching mixed emotions.

He’d never felt love like that before. Not that deep. Not that instantaneously intense and all consuming. He had barely realized it… he had barely taken a breath with it, before he had pledged himself to Elijah with his whole heart and soul. But the guilt was just as intense, as was the sense of shame that overwhelmed him at the thought that this love that was eating him alive, was directed at another man… and further, one who was ten years his junior.

Nothing in their experience had prepared either of them for this, and they had struggled to understand it. Though they burned for each other, they had tried their best to remember Sean’s children and the good lady who was his wife. Time and time again they pledged to repress their feelings for the good of all concerned, then unable to bear the separation, they had fallen into each other’s arms under the wild New Zealand stars.

After they left their Middle-earth, Sean had committed himself to making his marriage last for the sake of his young daughters. He knew his decision broke Elijah’s heart. He knew it was the reason that he fled to Paris. And Sean suffered through the ten years of his self imposed exile from Elijah without ever going a day without thinking of him and longing for him.

Now they stood on the brink of a new life together, and Sean struggled to frame the vows upon which this new life would be built. He sighed and stared at the paper wondering why at this time of all times he had to find himself at a loss for words. Then he picked the pen up and began to write.

Eventually both of them managed to compose something they considered _‘acceptable'_. “This doesn’t say it,” Sean told him as he laid the paper containing his vows next to Elijah’s. “Not by a long shot. But it’s the best I could do.”

“I know how you feel,” Elijah said thoughtfully, staring at the two papers that lay side by side. “I had a hard time putting words around my feelings, too. But,” he turned to Sean and smiled. “I think we’ll both have a pretty good idea what the other one is trying to say.”

“We’d better get back to decorating before Gabby kicks our asses,” Sean said, wrapping his arms around Elijah’s waist and hoisting him off his feet. “This way bridegroom!” he said, hauling Elijah toward the kitchen. “There's furniture to move and our foreman awaits us.”

When Billy and Dom arrived Gabrielle released them from decorating duty, and they ran to greet their friends.

"Billeh!" Elijah yelled, grabbing him in an exuberant hug! "How are you? How's Jack? God, man! I'm so **FUCKING** glad you're here!"

"Jack's fine," Billy said, pushing Elijah back to look at him. "And here you are, man… all ready to be a father to **THREE** girls. In one day you'll have me beat by two!"

Elijah laughed and blushed. "Well, I don't know how much fathering I'll be doing. Probably just the same old indulgent Uncle that I've always been."

Sean hugged Billy, thinking as he always did when they were together, that Billy's accent was one of the sweetest sounds he had ever heard.

Dom hovered around Bill fetching him a drink, carrying his bag up to the guest room, and acting, Sean thought, more like a nervous bridegroom than he was himself.

When the four friends were finally seated in the great room with wine glasses in their hands, Billy lifted his and spoke softy. "To us," he said. "The four Hobbits, together again."

Deeply moved, Sean touched his glass to those of his friends. "Together again," he echoed, "Man, we can't let this much time pass before we see each other. We have got to get together more often!"

"Speaks the hermit who's become more and more reclusive with every passing year," Dom laughed. "I've seen Elijah. I've seen Bill. You're the one who nobody’s seen!"

Sean blushed and lowered his head. He could hear Elijah's soft laughter next to him. "You're right," Sean murmured.

"It won't be like that anymore," Elijah said. "He's out of the closet now."

"So to speak," Billy said dryly, to shouts of laughter from the others.

"The house is so beautiful," Billy added, looking around the great room. "It's perfect for you."

"Well," Elijah laughed. "Right now it looks like…"

"A funeral home," Sean moaned. "All these flowers! Gabrielle insisted and we didn't have the heart to say no!"

“I like them!” Dom said stoutly. “They give the place a… I mean a sort of… errm… rather a…”

“Morgue like effect?” Billy said, smiling innocently.

Laughing, Elijah stood up and took Billy off to see the grounds while Sean and Dom sat quietly talking.

“You ready for this?” Dom asked him.

Sean nodded. “It’s funny, Dom,” he said. “I don’t even feel nervous. It’s just so – oh, I dunno, just so _’right’_ that this happens. I know we belong together. I’ve always known it. Tomorrow just validates what has been the truth of my heart for fifteen years.”

“I’m sorry it took so long, Seanie,” Dom said.

“Me too. But maybe it had to be that way so we’d appreciate what we have now and never let it go again. And I won’t,” he told Dom with absolute conviction. “I will never let him go again.”

The next day they finished last minute preparations then fought off butterflies as they dressed in their best tuxes. Now and then Dom would yell up to them and they’d dash downstairs with their shirttails hanging out to embrace arriving family or members of the ‘Fellowship’.

Anna stood with Michael Pierce and Mackenzie, while John Astin, looking frail but still dapper, lounged on the couch with his wife. Elijah’s mother chatted with Viggo while his brother and sister helped Gabrielle with last minute preparations for the buffet that was to follow.

Chris and the girls had not arrived yet, and Elijah felt more anxiety about their appearance than he did about anything else happening that day. As late as last night Chris did not know whether or not Elizabeth was coming with her. She knew that her middle daughter was struggling with her decision about coming to the ceremony though Chris told them she had not, as yet, ruled it out.

It was almost time for the ceremony to begin, and Elijah was beginning to wonder if **any** of Sean’s daughters were going to be present, when he heard Mackenzie laughingly cry out: “Well, it’s about **time!** ”

Elijah saw Chris enter the room with her date. For a moment he stood, breathlessly watching, then felt his heart leap with sudden joy as Elizabeth entered behind her two sisters. Sean went to them at once and embraced all three girls. Then, after a moment of quiet conversation, he took Elizabeth’s hand and walked to where Elijah stood in the doorway.

As they approached, Elijah smiled. Sean had always looked good in a tux. But now there was something in his bearing, some quality that seemed to radiate both steadfast strength and an effervescent joy. He had never looked as handsome as he did today.

“Look who’s here,” he said softly as they reached Elijah. “Elizabeth wanted me to bring her over to say 'Hello' to you.”

Elijah held out his hand. “Hello, Elizabeth,” he said. “I can’t tell you how happy I am that you’re here. It means so much to your dad and me.”

“I’m glad to be here, Uncle Elijah,” she said quietly.

Elijah tried to respond, but was too moved to speak. He kissed Elizabeth’s cheek, then turned his eyes to Sean who was also overcome with emotion.

Suddenly Dom was at their side. “It’s time,” he said, taking Elizabeth’s arm. “You two need to go stand over in the archway.” He led Elizabeth back to where Chris, her date, and the girls stood waiting with Mackenzie.

“Who’s the guy?” Elijah asked Sean as they wandered to the archway.

Sean shrugged. “Friend of a friend, I guess. He seems nice.”

“Jealous a little?” Elijah asked, grinning.

Sean gaped at him, shaking his head in disbelief. “You can ask that **today**?” Giggling, Elijah punched playfully at his arm.

On the other side of the room, Viggo paced as the guests slowly gathered in the great room and as the time for the ceremony grew near, Ian approached him, fingering his sheaf of papers. “We ready?” he whispered.

Viggo glanced at Sean and Elijah who now stood in the archway surrounded by the rest of the Fellowship. He lifted his eyebrows questioningly, and Sean nodded. “Ready,” Viggo told Ian, who nodded and moved to stand before the fireplace.

“Dearest friends,” Ian said softly, lifting his hands to ask for quiet. The room stilled at once, and he continued, “We are here today to support the public commitment between these two men whom all of us love. We celebrate this joining. And we celebrate the reunion of our Fellowship who are gathered together once more, to witness the union of our beloved Hobbits who are an integral part of our loving band of companions.”

He lifted his hands toward Sean and Elijah who walked to the fireplace to stand before him. The Fellowship formed a semi-circle around them.

“Our Fellowship will stand with Sean and Elijah, as witnesses.” He smiled at Sean. “Sean, would you take Elijah’s hand?”

Sean was trembling as he took Elijah’s hand in his. He took a deep breath and lifted it to his lips, hoping he would be composed enough to say his vows. Elizabeth’s arrival had already brought him to the verge of tears.

Ian smiled at them and continued, his aristocratic voice echoing in the huge great room: “I watched them fall in love. We all did. We watched them during the filming of 'Lord of the Rings' and we knew that the bond we saw growing between them went far beyond friendship. We watched as the silver cord that bound them one to the other grew ever stronger as they offered to each other, in deepest trust, their innermost feelings. We saw them wrapped together in a cocoon of understanding and protection that no earthly force could ever shatter. We saw them laugh. We saw them cry. We saw them in joy, and in heartbreak. And through all these moments, we watched the bond they shared become stronger, until each became an integral part of the other. This closeness cannot be measured by time. It cannot be spoken in words. It cannot be broken by circumstance. It is a wholeness of the soul, a peace within the spirit, and the highest form of intimacy the heart has to offer.

“Today that same love gathers our Fellowship together once more. And as we were witnesses then to the joining of their hearts, we come together now to witness the joining of their lives. We are gathered to remember and to rejoice. To bless and to be blessed. And to realize, with Sean and Elijah, that it is love, always love, only love, that leads us to our true destination. And to celebrate that they, at last, have arrived.

“This is the ‘Partners in Life’ union of Sean and Elijah. We are here to listen, with love in our hearts, and to share with them their celebration. Sean? Would you say your vows to Elijah?"

Sean took another deep breath then looked into Elijah’s eyes as he began to read his vows, glancing now and then at the paper he held in a trembling hand.

> “Elijah, I love you. And when I tell you I love you, this is what I mean:
> 
> I've waited for you since a day long ago when I walked into a hotel lobby, and captured a lightning bolt in my arms. You have brought me more peace and balance than I have ever known before, and the days since we've been together again have been the most joyous of my life. Your beautiful smile, your deep convictions, your passion and compassion, your beauty both internal and external, your laughter, your sense of adventure, your intelligence, your wisdom, your faith, your courage, your kindness and the lessons of your experience enrich me more with every beat of my heart
> 
> I offer you my past, with its pride, its pain, its joy, and its regrets.
> 
> I offer you my future, promising to walk beside you wherever our journey takes us.
> 
> I offer you this moment, which holds more joy for me than mere words could ever express.
> 
> I offer you all of my joy and fear, my brokenness and my courage, my success and failure, my humor and despair, my loneliness and my connectedness.
> 
> I promise to laugh with you and to laugh at myself.
> 
> I promise to take you seriously when seriousness is called for.
> 
> I promise to hold you while you cry, and to cry in your arms without restraint when sadness finds me.
> 
> I promise to care for you as best I can, and to encourage you to stretch yourself and grow in strength and wisdom so that you can care for yourself.
> 
> I promise to love and nourish myself, cherishing the fact that I am the one whom you have chosen.
> 
> I promise to support you in sharing your gifts with others, to encourage your talent, your generosity and your chosen commitments.
> 
> I promise to listen to you respectfully, and to consider your thoughts and beliefs. And I promise to heed your challenges to my own beliefs, listening with an open heart and an open mind.
> 
> I promise to rest with you, and to always seek balance between work and play.

As he said these words he saw a small smile flicker across Elijah’s lips. Sean smiled back, then went on.

> I promise you nothing less than the rest of my life. You are my closest friend, and I give myself to you without reservation. This is what I mean when I tell you that I love you.
> 
> From this moment on we shall be together, and I promise to be your loving and faithful partner for the rest of our lives.”

Sean’s voice was strong as he spoke his vows. And though nearly overcome with the emotion of the moment, it did not waver. He took another deep breath and glanced at Ian to signal that he had finished. In the background, he could hear soft weeping, though he was not sure who it was. He heard Dom, beside him, whisper one word: _Beautiful…_

Ian nodded to Elijah. “Elijah, please say your vows to Sean.”

Elijah drew in a shaky breath. Sean’s vows had nearly undone him. He was trembling all over, and he swallowed hard as he gripped Sean’s hand, praying that he could get through this. But the hazel eyes that were locked on his were filled with love, and Elijah felt the warmth of that love flow into him… strengthening his resolve.

> “Sean,” he said softly, “I love you. And when I say I love you, what I mean is…
> 
> Everything within me, my most analytical thoughts, the goose bumps and butterflies I feel today, the love and trust I feel for you, and most especially the still small voice deep within me, speaks to me with absolute certainty about the rightness of committing my life to you, about the rightness of committing myself to **OUR** life… to **OUR** time.

He saw the hazel eyes slant as Sean grinned at the reference to ‘Goonies’, and all nervousness suddenly left him. This was Sean. His Seanie. His Sam. And today he would speak the words that affirmed the truth that Elijah had known for fifteen years: that they belonged together. When he spoke again, his voice was strong and vibrant.

> “Sean, we are so much stronger when we're together than we are when we're apart. And I know that our ability to grow in mind, in heart, and in spirit is infinitely greater when we are side by side.
> 
> I promise to stand firm beside you as your partner in pursuing wisdom, adventure, creativity, peace, and joy.
> 
> I promise to love and honor whom you are rather than who I imagine you to be or need you to be, and to offer myself to you always in complete honesty and openness of heart.
> 
> I promise to support you when your strength is challenged and to ask for your help when I falter.
> 
> I promise to hold you in my heart completely during difficult times as well as in the joyous ones.
> 
> I promise to be open to challenges, change, and the unexpected as we both grow in new ways, safe in the security of our love for each other.”

He paused for a moment and glanced to his right where Sean’s three daughters stood together at the very forefront of the gathering. Then his eyes found Sean’s again, and he spoke:

> “I promise to be an honest friend and steadfast support to your children, holding them close in my heart as a beloved part of you, the one I love.
> 
> And, finally, I promise to be open to all the laughter, wonder, and mystery that life can offer us as we take this journey together.
> 
> With you my joys are greater and my sorrows diminished. My spirit is cherished in your care, and it always has been. From this day forward, we are joined. We are One. We are Sam and Frodo now and forever. And I promise to be your loving and faithful partner for the rest of our lives.”

Sean’s eyes had filled when Elijah spoke of his children, and the entire ‘Fellowship’ had been deeply moved by the reference to Sam and Frodo. And now as they both struggled for composure, Viggo stepped forward and stood beside Ian.

“Sean and Elijah will now exchange rings,” Viggo said in his distinctive voice, “They are seamless circles of joy symbolizing the love you share. They are a sign of your willingness to share life's journey with each other. Like the ring that joined you so long ago in beautiful New Zealand, we hope that these rings will always symbolize everything that love means to both of you.”

He turned to Dom and held out his hand for the ring, which Dom surrendered. Viggo then turned to Sean and placed it in his hand.

“Sean, you will give this ring to Elijah, as a symbol of the love that lives deep within you, an unbroken promise that you are bound to him always, with all the love in your heart.”

Sean took the ring, his breath trembling in his chest, and as he slowly slipped it on Elijah’s finger, he spoke:

> “Elijah, please accept this ring as a symbol of the promises we made to each other today. Accept it as a token of the love that I feel for you. Accept it as a humble gift from one who feels utterly blessed to have you by his side. As we begin our life’s journey together, I pledge to you the best part of who I am. I pledge to be your Sam, now as I was then… and forever as I am today.
> 
> With this ring I commit myself to you.”

Viggo turned to Billy and held out his hand for the ring, which Billy quickly placed in his palm.

“Elijah,” Viggo intoned, “you will give this ring to Sean, as a symbol of the love that lives deep within you, an unbroken promise that you are bound to him always, with all the love in your heart.”

Elijah’s hand was trembling as he took the ring from Viggo. He gripped Sean’s hand and slowly slipped the white gold band onto his finger.

> “Seanie, I give you this ring as an expression of my love and commitment to our life together.
> 
> I'm honored to place it on your finger as a symbol of the promises I've made to you today, and a proclamation to the world of the love I feel for you. The love I have felt every day since we met. A love born in the beauty of New Zealand. A love that has remained steadfast every day since then. This is **MY** ‘one ring to rule them all’ and the one love to rule my heart… forever.
> 
> With this ring I commit myself to you.”

They stood for a moment, hands clasped, each with tears trembling on the edge of falling, while the room waited in utter silence.

Then Viggo spoke: “By the authority vested in me by the love of our ‘Fellowship’ and the faith we have in one another, I announce to the world that Sean Astin and Elijah Wood are partners in life.” He then leaned forward and winked at Sean, whispering: “You may now kiss the bride.”

Elijah opened his mouth to utter a sharp squawk of protest, but Sean quickly closed it with a kiss, pulling Elijah tight in his arms, laughing softly against the lips he adored.

They were only given a moment to embrace before they were surrounded by their guests, many of whom were weeping. Sean Bean lifted Elijah off his feet in a gigantic hug, while Sean was mauled by Dom, Billy, and Orlando.

“ **Beautiful** , dude!” Orlando said, whapping Sean on the back. “Makes me want to turn gay!”

“Turn gay?” Dom twitted him? “ _ **TURN**_ gay?”

“Kiss me,” Orlando said, holding out his arms. Dom immediately complied while Sean doubled over laughing.

Bean deposited Elijah on the floor, still hugging him, then faced him toward Sean’s daughters who stood together waiting for their turn. Alexandra was first. “What you said about us in your vows,” she said, her voice wavering on the edge of tears. “Thank you, Uncle Elijah. I’m just so happy for both of you.”

As Ally moved to embrace her father, Isabella fell into Elijah’s arms. She was crying and Elijah hugged her tight. “So beautiful,” she said, half-sobbing. “So beautiful!”

“Thank you, baby,” he said. “It **WAS** beautiful, wasn’t it.”

She kissed his cheek, then went to Sean who wrapped an arm around each of his daughters while Elijah faced Elizabeth.

She looked up at him. Tears sparkled in her eyes and on her cheeks. Elijah was suddenly struck to the heart by how young Elizabeth was. Of how innocent she looked as she gazed at him. He smiled and reached to embrace her. “Sweetie, I’m so glad you were here. It means more to me than I could ever tell you.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. “It was so beautiful… what you and daddy said to each other.”

“Honey, I meant every word of it.”

For a long time he and Sean had no word alone together. They each made it a point to speak to everyone present. Many friends other than their ‘Fellowship’ comrades had attended, and each of their families was well represented. They wandered about the room as their guests ate from the gorgeous buffet Gabrielle had arranged, thanking them for coming and accepting their congratulations. Finally the food and plates were taken away, and Dom, helped by Billy and Orlando, began pushing the furniture aside to create a dance floor.

In minutes Elijah’s very up-scale sound system was carted in, and the guests began to dance. Mackenzie gyrated in the center of the room with all three of Sean’s daughters as partners, and Sean watched in both surprise and delight as his two famous parents took to the floor, awing the cheering guests with a very respectable jitter-bug.

He was not quite as delighted when he saw Orlando tug Alexandra away from her uncle. They begin a rather intense fast dance, twisting gleefully in time with the music. Spotting him watching from the sidelines, Alexandra waved and Orlando grinned at him. Sean shook his fist playfully in their direction, hoping Orlando would get the point, but they both laughed and went back to their dance.

Sean sighed and looked for Elijah. He spotted him at once, dancing with his sister; Billy and Dom were capering close by. Elijah was laughing and moving with the beat of the music. His sparkling expression and the free and easy movement of his body conveyed an exuberant joy. And, watching him, Sean could not imagine any other scenario for his life that could possibly compete with this one. To see Elijah this happy, and to know that the reason for it was the ceremony they had shared today in front of their friends and families was all that Sean could ever hope for.

Spotting him, Elijah waved him over. “Hey, Astin! C’mere! Let’s dance!”

Sean quickly closed the distance between them, and they began to move sensuously to the music, laughing as their audience egged them on. Elijah’s arms wound around Sean’s neck, and for a moment they swayed together, then Elijah giggled and turned, backing against Sean, swaying lightly in a sensual movement that brought quick cheers and more than a few cat-calls from the gathered assembly.

“Whooo!” Dom hooted. “Take it off!”

“Get a room!” Mackenzie yelled.

Sean backed away, laughing, as Elijah turned and grinned at him. “What? Had enough already?” he gibed.

Sean blushed and waved dismissively at the guests who, seeing his discomfort, began to boo good-naturedly.

“Tease!” Billy laughed. He grabbed Dom’s hand and bounced him to a corner where they began to dance with unrestrained delight.

“Oh, daddy, you stick-in-the-mud!” Elizabeth said, brushing past her father to grab Elijah’s hand. “C’mon, Unk! Let’s dance!!”

Elijah complied at once, though his movements were much more sedate than the ones he’d used with Sean. He twirled Elizabeth until she shrieked with laughter while Sean watched them from the sidelines, thinking that he could not possibly survive any more happiness than that which bubbled within him at the moment.

And then suddenly the music changed to a slower, more haunting melody. Sean saw Viggo at the CD player, smiling across at him. He pointed first to Sean, then to Elijah… then down at the player, indicating clearly that he was playing this song for them. After a moment of silence, the soft, hypnotic voice of Tony Bennett filled the room.

 _Time after time  
I tell myself that I’m  
So lucky to be loving you…._

Sean turned back to where Elijah stood with Elizabeth’s hand still held in his. He was watching Sean, and his face shone with a look of enraptured love so powerful that Sean was staggered. Slowly, he walked to them. “Excuse me, honey,” he said quietly to Elizabeth. “But I think this dance is mine.”

Elizabeth smiled and stepped back as Sean took Elijah in his arms. He was trembling all over. This kind of public demonstration normally left him feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable. But at this singular moment in his life, he knew what he had to do. He had to take Elijah in his arms and dance with him as this song played.

Elijah took a deep breath and kissed Sean’s cheek. And then, feeling a bit overcome, he pressed his face against Sean’s neck, his arms tightening as they swayed to the music.

 _So lucky to be  
The one you run to see  
In the evening, when the day is through_

Elijah could feel Sean’s body shaking in his arms. With a sharp inhale they suddenly clasped each other close. Elijah could feel his control slipping away. The moment was just too intensely emotional. They had waited so long. The feelings that burned within them now were simply too compelling for either of them to push aside. He heard Sean draw in a long breath. “Damn Viggo anyway,” he growled against Elijah’s ear.

They both leaned back as one and gazed into each other’s eyes. Then, again as one, they burst into laughter.

 _I only know what I know  
The passing years will show  
You’ve kept my love so young, so new_

 

Still, they swayed to the music. Joy shone naked and unashamed from their faces, which glowed with an almost unearthly beauty as they looked at each other. The moment was almost too intimate to be borne and many of the guests dropped their eyes.

But not Mack. His arm slid around Elizabeth’s waist and he watched intently as his brother and Elijah danced. “Still have doubts?” he asked his niece.

She glanced up at him, and Mackenzie saw that her eyes were shining. “No, Uncle Mack. Not anymore. They're beautiful together.”

 _And time after time  
You’ll hear me say that I’m  
So lucky to be loving you_

As the song drew to a close Sean held his lover closer and kissed him with uninhibited passion. All the rules and restrictions that had heretofore regulated how he lived his life had suddenly vanished, burned away like mist in a hot sun. His embarrassment and self-conscious fear had dissolved. All that was left was this one moment in time, and the man he held so tightly in his arms. He wanted them all to see what he _knew_ with every fiber of his being. That this was where the passion of his life would be spent. With this man. With this love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later Sean and Elijah slowly walked through their home surveying the rubble left in the wake of their party. They were tired and a touch of champagne ‘high’ made them weave as they wandered through the empty rooms. They idly picked up odds and ends that had been left behind and sampled some of the desserts and hors d'oeuvres that still sat here and there on trays.

They had instructed Gabrielle to leave all cleaning up until tomorrow and sent her off to her small house to get some rest. It had been a glorious day. And everyone had agreed that it was one of the best parties they’d ever attended.

They had asked several of their friends to spend the night, most notably Dom and Billy, but everyone had refused, insisting that they share their first night as ‘Life Partners’ alone.

Elijah munched a piece of chocolate cake and looked around the dining room. “What a mess!” he laughed.

“Yeah, well, there’s always tomorrow,” Sean said, licking frosting from his finger.

“Too bad Billy and Dom wouldn’t stay,” Elijah mumbled around a mouthful of cake.

“Yeah. Funny. Why do you suppose they insisted on leaving?”

Elijah glanced at Sean and saw that his face was alight with repressed mirth. “Gee, I dunno,” he responded dryly. “But I think… I **THINK**..… that maybe they thought…” he hesitated and glanced around distrustfully. “They thought we were going to have…” he lowered his voice to a hushed whisper, then spoke: _“…. sex!”_

“SEX!” Sean spouted. “They thought we were going to have **SEX** ?!”

Elijah nodded sagely. “Yeah, how silly are **THEY**? Weird, huh?”

Sean nodded, then walked slowly toward him. “I don’t have sex with you,” he said, taking Elijah into his arms and kissing him hungrily. “I make love to you,” he murmured against Elijah’s ear, his voice hushed.

“That you do,” Elijah agreed.

They walked to their bedroom, hand in hand. When they entered, Elijah moved toward the closet, thinking to remove his tux, but Sean stopped him and tugged him to the side of the bed. He sat down, standing Elijah before him, looking up at him with shining eyes.

Elijah’s tie hung loosely around his neck. He had opened the first few buttons of his shirt as he exerted himself dancing and he wore the loosened tux with a casual grace that Sean couldn’t help but envy. Even half-unbuttoned and a bit unkempt, Elijah was stunning. His rumpled clothes merely served to enhance the sensual fire that always seemed to burn just below the surface. The skin under his eyes was dark with exhaustion, giving his face a look of barely restrained passion.

Sean slowly lifted his hands and guided Elijah’s jacket from his shoulders. It slid, unnoticed, from his body to lie on the floor at his feet. Sean's fingers then fumbled at the buttons that remaining closed on Elijah’s shirt, opening them one at a time, then letting the white shirt and black tie slip down to join the jacket.

He pressed his face against Elijah’s t-shirt, his breath hot against the soft surface of the cloth, the last barrier between him and the nakedness he craved. He felt the heat generated by Elijah’s nearness fill his chest with an urgent longing that instantly surged lower, sending hot sparks of desire to his groin, hardening him in an instant. “God,” he breathed against the cloth. “So beautiful. So beautiful.”

Elijah’s fingers were in his hair, tangled in his curls, pressing Sean’s face harder against his body. “Seanie,” he murmured. “My Seanie.”

Sean’s hands slid underneath Elijah’s t-shirt, caressing his back, then slowly moving to caress his chest and sides. He heard Elijah moan softly as his fingers teasingly slid over velvet soft nipples, and felt the fingers carding through his curls suddenly clench. He raised his hands to remove the t-shirt, his lips forming soft kisses as he revealed the smooth skin beneath. His tongue moved slowly over the soft, pale skin, as hot pangs of pleasure flamed through his body.

Elijah’s fingers moved to his shoulders, pushing at his dinner jacket, trying to slide it off. Sean leaned back for an instant to remove it, then groped blindly for the snap of Elijah’s slacks.

“Wait,” Elijah breathed. “Sean, wait.” As Sean looked up questioningly, Elijah’s nimble fingers flew to the front of his shirt, quickly unbuttoning his shirt buttons and removing his tie. His hand moved over Sean’s shoulders and down his back, then clutched at the hem of his t-shirt and drew it roughly over Sean’s head. “Now!” he said, and taking Sean’s hands, he pressed them firmly against the erection pulsing beneath his zippered slacks. “Do it now!” he whispered urgently.

Sean looked up at him, his hazel eyes slowly darkening to emerald as he gently stroked the hardness of Elijah’s arousal. He felt it throb beneath the cloth and heard him begin to make soft whimpering sounds in his throat. Sean moaned and pressed his face against Elijah’s skin, his own erection rock hard. He lowered Elijah’s zipper slowly as he kissed and licked the sleek, slender body beneath his lips, then he hooked his thumbs under the waistband of both slacks and briefs, lowering them in one long pull.

Elijah stepped back, kicking his shoes off. There was no sound in the room except the harsh rush of their breath and the rustle of cloth as they parted zippers and removed what was left of their clothing. That done, they lay on top of the comforter together and for a long time they held each other close, not saying a word.

“Do you feel…” Elijah whispered, then hesitated.

“Feel what, baby?” Sean prompted.

“Feel _married_?” Elijah said.

Sean laughed and pressed his lips against the curve of Elijah’s neck, licking the smooth skin, kissing it tenderly. Then he shrugged. “Always did,” he said. “I didn’t want the ceremony in order to feel married. I’ve always felt that way with you. I wanted to publicly commit my life to you while the ‘Fellowship’ was together. God knows if it’ll ever happen again. I wanted them to see us proclaim our relationship to the world.”

“So now you don’t care if the world knows?”

Again, Sean shrugged. “I never did care really. Not for my sake. I cared for YOUR sake. Still do. But no, I’m done hiding. Tonight was it. You’re my life partner and the world can take it or leave it.”

“Good! Because that’s what I want, too.”

“Elijah, you still have a career to consider. I’m willing to be extremely discreet as long as that’s a factor.”

“Fuck it,” Elijah told him, stretching out on his back. “It’s too much aggravation to have to worry about it. I’d rather just be honest and let the chips fall where they will.”

Sean leaned over him, his lips moved slowly down Elijah’s chest. The skin under his tongue was honeyed cream. Still beautiful. Still silken smooth. He slid lower in their bed, wetting Elijah’s nipples, then nibbling them until he felt his lover’s back arch and heard him groan in anguished pleasure.

He could hear his own breathing becoming labored as his tongue slowly moved lower. He wove a zig-zag path across Elijah’s taut belly, then stopped to lick the dark skin of his tattoo. He was dimly aware of Elijah’s whimpers above him. “Love you,” he whispered against the quivering flesh beneath his lips. “God, I love you.”

He felt Elijah’s fingers clawing at his hair. The hardness of his erection pulsed against Sean’s cheek. He licked across Elijah’s navel, feeling desire thunder through him, setting his body on fire. His own cock was rigid. Painfully so. He pressed himself against the bed as he lay between Elijah’s legs, praying he would be able to control the longing that ripped through him long enough to satisfy them both. He turned his face to lick slowly up the length of Elijah’s cock… wanting with all his soul to give this man that he loved more pleasure than he’d ever experienced before.

Elijah gasped and arched in a frenzy of yearning. “Oh god,” he moaned. “Sean…. Seanie… please….”

Sean captured Elijah’s erection between both hands as he leaned over him. His tongue lapped sensuously. After a moment, both hands moved to gasp Elijah’s hips. He felt Elijah lift his hips, and as he did Sean allowed his throbbing hardness to glide into his mouth. Elijah’s hips twitched and he cried out, but Sean’s hands gripped him gently holding him still. He sucked gently, almost lazily, stopping now and then to swirl his tongue around the head, then flicking rapidly, paying special attention to the split on the underside of his penis.

He heard Elijah above him whimpering in pleasure. His body moved wantonly as he lifted his hips upward again and again. He was gasping for breath, nearly panting, each exhale a whimpering moan. Sean thought he had never heard anything as erotic as Elijah’s cries of pleasure. Each one slammed him like a physical touch, taking his breath, heightening his already feverish desire.

He hunched against the bed, rubbing himself against it as his tongue and lips caressed Elijah’s hard male heat. He gripped Elijah’s cock, pumping it gently as his tongue beat a pattern against the sensitive head. His other hand moved to caress his thighs, grazing his testicles.

“God, Sean!” Elijah cried. “I’m going to come! I can’t stop!”

“Oh yes, you can,” Sean groaned, releasing him gently. “Wait,” he breathed. “Baby, wait.”

He licked and kissed his way up Elijah’s belly and chest, extending his hand to the nightstand to grab the small tube he had laid there earlier. Now he pressed his body against the more slender frame beneath him and kissed him with passionate hunger. “Want you,” he whispered shakily. “Jesus, Elijah… want you so much I could scream.”

“And I want YOU,” Elijah replied. “Want you NOW. Enough foreplay, Astin. Enough with the teasing.” His fingers dug into Sean’s broad shoulders. “Fuck me!” he ground out between clenched teeth. “Fuck me now!”

Sean smeared them both with the slippery lubricant, and eased himself just barely inside Elijah’s body. He felt his lover tense, so he stopped, though the aching need within him was nearly unbearable.

“OK?” he gasped. “Lij? OK?”

After a moment Elijah nodded. “Now,” he whispered. “Now, Seanie.”

Moving slowly, Sean joined his body to Elijah’s until he had embedded himself deeply within him. Now his hips began to thrust in a sensuous rhythm. Buried within him, Sean moaned and rocked, drowning in sensation. Elijah’s body was a hot, tight furnace that clasped him in an iron grip. He thrust deeply again and again as Elijah arched to meet him in a frenzy of yearning.

Sean bent and their lips met in a long, drugging kiss. He reached between them and grasped Elijah’s hardness. There was no need for him to move his hand, the frenzied movement of their bodies was all that was needed. He merely gripped hard, whimpering as he felt himself on the raw edge of coming… desperate with need.

Elijah’s fingers suddenly gripped his shoulders. He cried out… almost a scream as Sean pounded their bodies together, and came with ecstatic bursts of pleasure.

Sean continued moving, thrusting once, twice, then a third time. He pressed himself as deeply into Elijah as he could and came with an intensity that shattered him. Nearly sobbing, Sean felt his head spin. His whole body felt the rapture of his orgasm, as though every pore had burst with it.

“Oh my god,” he gasped. “Oh my god, Elijah. Elijah.” As he murmured Elijah’s name, he felt his lover’s hands moving over his back, stroking him gently. Sean’s arms encircled him, crushing them together. “Oh baby. Jesus, that was incredible.”

Elijah gave a shaky laugh. “I know. God, Seanie, I know.”

Sean kissed his cheek, then his shoulder. “Mmmmm… god, so sweet… so good.”

“Is this what being married is like?” Elijah said with a grin.

“You were married once. What do **you** think?”

“It’s not always this good between us, Sean. I mean it’s always **good**! But this… this was… god, this was… amazing.”

“So you think it was the ceremony?” Sean said, snuggling against him, feeling his body finally relax, totally sated.

“Well it was **something**!” Elijah said. “Why not that?”

Sean moaned low in his throat, then slowly slid to his side, feeling a touch of sadness as he slowly withdrew from Elijah’s body. “Jesus, baby, I don’t know. And I’m not sure I care. I just know that tonight… you took me to heaven.” He leaned on his elbow and gazed beyond his lover to the night outside their patio door. Then he shrugged. “I don’t want it to be the ceremony. Because I’d like to think we can feel this way again, and the ceremony was a once in a lifetime thing. You know?” He looked down at Elijah and grinned.

“You look eleven years old,” Elijah said, his voice warm with love. “Let’s take a shower and get some sleep. It’s four A. M. and we have a ‘Fellowship’ party happening here in the morning. They’re all coming for breakfast, right?”

Sean crawled out of bed, steadying himself on the mattress as he tried to stand. “Jeez, I feel dizzy. You pack quite the wallop. And yeah,” he added, taking Elijah’s arm as he, too, rose. “They’ll be here in about six hours expecting breakfast. Except for Ian and John. They’re flying home today.”

“Ian said he might show for breakfast if he got up early enough,” Elijah said, walking past Sean. “C’mon, babe. Been a big day, and there’s another big one coming tomorrow.”

“That seems to be SOP around here lately,” Sean murmured, following him into the bathroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ‘Fellowship’ reunion had been an unqualified success. Sean and Elijah’s ceremony had been the highest point in a weekend of high points.

They watched all three of the ‘Lord of the Rings’ movies, adding their own rather ungentlemanly commentaries until they all screamed with laughter.

There were raucous debates concerning who-did-what-to-whom when they shot their famous trilogy fifteen years ago. Viggo insisted that Orlando had been frantic to be his lover back in those days. “He couldn’t keep his hands off me,” Viggo stated with absolute certainty.

Orlando lifted an eyebrow and smiled his engaging smile. “I don’t deny you had a certain lecherous appeal,” he said, ruffling Viggo’s hair. “But I was actually more interested in Sean, here.” He draped himself casually across Bean’s lap and kissed his cheek. The entire ‘Fellowship’ roared as Bean, their staunchest heterosexual, tossed Orlando to the floor, his expression horror-stricken.

There were also quiet talks before the fire that lasted into the small hours of the morning. Remembering their extraordinary experiences and the forming of their extraordinary friendships, friendships that had stood the test of time. Catching up with intimate details of each other’s lives, solidifying their ‘Fellowship’, as their renewed bonds of friendship grew ever stronger.

And finally promising that they would **not** let another fifteen years go by before they did this again. Each of them privately hoped that they would all be able to attend the next reunion, and dreaded the inevitable time when their numbers would begin to decrease.

“Ian seemed fine,” Sean said, when the subject of his illness came up. “He seems fully recovered.”

“He does,” Orlando replied. “But I also know that he tires easily and doesn’t like to get too far from home. I’m glad he came. It was heaven to see him again. To see all of you really.” He sighed. “I hate for this to end.”

But finally, with many promises to see each other again soon, the ‘Fellowship’ reunion was over. Billy was staying on in the States for a while, staying with Dom to work on a project together, so Sean and Elijah would be seeing him. And, of course, Viggo and Orlando were Los Angeles residents, so they’d be in touch. Bean, however, along with Ian and John, was headed back to England and their farewell from him and these other beloved companions was much sadder.

Yet, these friendships would always be a part of them. They had all been transformed by the making of the 'Lord of the Rings' trilogy. They had all been formed and reformed in that one blessed crucible in their far away Middle-earth. And it would be part of them all… forever.


	8. Chapter 8

The new year came and went without incident. Sean and Elijah stayed home on New Year's Eve, and spent a quiet evening alone in front of their fire, all problems temporarily forgotten.

They saw very little of the girls in the time leading up to the Golden Globes, though Sean talked to them nearly every day. Elizabeth had not mentioned the commitment ceremony again, and with a sinking heart, Sean steeled himself to accept her refusal to attend. He knew that his joy on this most important day in his life would be greatly diminished if she weren't there. But he was determined not to let his disappointment mar their day. Elijah deserved to see him happy.

They attended the Golden Globes together, and alone. Sean wanted his family there, but feared a press storm about their relationship, and wanted to avoid any PR spin that implied he was using his daughters as a shield for him and Elijah.

But his fears proved unfounded. To their immense relief, they received good treatment from the press on the red carpet. No one asked about their relationship. All of the questions put to them pertained to their movie and their hopes for its success during this awards season.

Several film critics associations across the country had already named 'Witness To History' the year's best picture. Sean and Elijah had also scored wins from these groups in their respective categories. But the awards given tonight at the Golden Globes and those offered at the Academy Awards were the crowning achievements for any film.

Thus, they were disappointed when ‘Witness to History’ won for ‘Best Score’ and ‘Best Song’, but in no other category. They did their best to hide it, and offered sincere congratulations to the winners. On the way out, Elijah was cornered by a reporter who asked him if he thought the relatively poor showing of ‘Witness to History’ was connected in any way to the revelation about the relationship between him and Sean.

Elijah stared hard at the reporter for a long moment, then spoke in a low, calm voice. “It's an honor even to be nominated. I think the films that prevailed tonight did so because the foreign press thought they were the best of the films presented. I may not agree with their decision, but I would never, **ever** question their motives.” He grabbed Sean’s arm and walked away before the reporter could ask another question.

“God **DAMN** it!” Elijah fumed as they waited for their car to be brought around. “Bad enough to lose, but to have to have our relationship offered up as the reason for it. It’s galling!”

Sean’s hands were jammed into his pants’ pockets and he gazed thoughtfully down at the pavement. “Why be upset by it?” he asked finally, shrugging his broad shoulders. “It's undoubtedly true. And frankly, I’m surprised it wasn’t worse.”

“But, Jesus, Sean…,” Elijah began, then stopped. He could see that Sean was tired and further, that he was beginning to show his sadness and disappointment that their film had not fared better tonight. “Hey,” Elijah said softly, laying a hand on his arm. “It’s OK, you know. We were nominated. And we’ve gotten rave reviews.” But he knew what was on Sean's mind because it also haunted **his** thoughts.

The ‘Fellowship’ reunion was on for the coming weekend. They had been so busy making arrangements to host their friends and preparing for their upcoming ceremony that they had nearly forgotten about the Oscar nominations that were being announced within days.

Now as they waited for their car, Elijah found himself warding off butterflies every time it crossed his mind. Not for himself. He truly didn’t care one way or the other if he was nominated or not. But he ached to see Sean receive the recognition that Elijah firmly believed was his due. Sean never spoke of it one way or the other, but Elijah knew that in his heart of hearts, Sean deeply desired this honor, the highest his profession could offer. Elijah would have felt more confident if they had walked away tonight with at least _one_ of the top Golden Globe honors. But he refused to give up hope.

As their car pulled up, Sean wrapped an arm around Elijah’s shoulder and snuggled him to his side, totally indifferent to the cameras and fans surrounding them. “I’ll just be glad to get home,” he whispered.

Elijah returned his hug, his face pressed against Sean's shoulder. “Me too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next few days were spent helping Gabrielle and the caterers decorate the house for both the 'Fellowship' reunion and their commitment ceremony. It was now the night before the festivities were to begin. Dom was picking Billy up at the airport, then bringing him back to Topanga Canyon where they were staying for the weekend. Sean Bean had arrived the night before, and was happily ensconced at Viggo's home, only a mile or so away. Orlando would be joining them for the ceremony tomorrow.

Ian and John Rhys-Davies were staying at expensive hotels in Hollywood. They were having dinner together, and would be at the reunion for only one day, Friday.

Viggo and Ian were both officiating at the ceremony. Viggo was to oversee the giving of the rings, and Ian would be the celebrant during the exchange of vows. Elijah had spoken to Ian before he flew to the U.S. to ask if he would consent to this request, and he agreed at once.

"My dear boy," he told Elijah in his inimitable accent, "I am honored! I do hope you don't have a script for me. I'd prefer to speak from the heart."

"And that's just what we want you to do," Elijah said, delighted. "I can't wait to see you, Ian!"

Sean and Elijah were writing their own vows for the commitment ceremony, and both of them swore that it was the toughest assignment they'd ever had. Often in recent evenings they had gone to separate parts of the house to sit quietly alone and work on their vows. They had an outline that guided them, but the words would be uniquely theirs.

Sitting in the tiny office he had created for himself in the pool-house studio, Sean struggled to find the words with which he would bind himself to Elijah forever. _’My god,’_ he thought, putting down his pen. _‘I’ll never find a way to say what my heart really feels for him.’_ He thought back to New Zealand… to that time in his life that, to this day, he could not ponder without wrenching mixed emotions.

He’d never felt love like that before. Not that deep. Not that instantaneously intense and all consuming. He had barely realized it… he had barely taken a breath with it, before he had pledged himself to Elijah with his whole heart and soul. But the guilt was just as intense, as was the sense of shame that overwhelmed him at the thought that this love that was eating him alive, was directed at another man… and further, one who was ten years his junior.

Nothing in their experience had prepared either of them for this, and they had struggled to understand it. Though they burned for each other, they had tried their best to remember Sean’s children and the good lady who was his wife. Time and time again they pledged to repress their feelings for the good of all concerned, then unable to bear the separation, they had fallen into each other’s arms under the wild New Zealand stars.

After they left their Middle-earth, Sean had committed himself to making his marriage last for the sake of his young daughters. He knew his decision broke Elijah’s heart. He knew it was the reason that he fled to Paris. And Sean suffered through the ten years of his self imposed exile from Elijah without ever going a day without thinking of him and longing for him.

Now they stood on the brink of a new life together, and Sean struggled to frame the vows upon which this new life would be built. He sighed and stared at the paper wondering why at this time of all times he had to find himself at a loss for words. Then he picked the pen up and began to write.

Eventually both of them managed to compose something they considered _‘acceptable'_. “This doesn’t say it,” Sean told him as he laid the paper containing his vows next to Elijah’s. “Not by a long shot. But it’s the best I could do.”

“I know how you feel,” Elijah said thoughtfully, staring at the two papers that lay side by side. “I had a hard time putting words around my feelings, too. But,” he turned to Sean and smiled. “I think we’ll both have a pretty good idea what the other one is trying to say.”

“We’d better get back to decorating before Gabby kicks our asses,” Sean said, wrapping his arms around Elijah’s waist and hoisting him off his feet. “This way bridegroom!” he said, hauling Elijah toward the kitchen. “There's furniture to move and our foreman awaits us.”

When Billy and Dom arrived Gabrielle released them from decorating duty, and they ran to greet their friends.

"Billeh!" Elijah yelled, grabbing him in an exuberant hug! "How are you? How's Jack? God, man! I'm so **FUCKING** glad you're here!"

"Jack's fine," Billy said, pushing Elijah back to look at him. "And here you are, man… all ready to be a father to **THREE** girls. In one day you'll have me beat by two!"

Elijah laughed and blushed. "Well, I don't know how much fathering I'll be doing. Probably just the same old indulgent Uncle that I've always been."

Sean hugged Billy, thinking as he always did when they were together, that Billy's accent was one of the sweetest sounds he had ever heard.

Dom hovered around Bill fetching him a drink, carrying his bag up to the guest room, and acting, Sean thought, more like a nervous bridegroom than he was himself.

When the four friends were finally seated in the great room with wine glasses in their hands, Billy lifted his and spoke softy. "To us," he said. "The four Hobbits, together again."

Deeply moved, Sean touched his glass to those of his friends. "Together again," he echoed, "Man, we can't let this much time pass before we see each other. We have got to get together more often!"

"Speaks the hermit who's become more and more reclusive with every passing year," Dom laughed. "I've seen Elijah. I've seen Bill. You're the one who nobody’s seen!"

Sean blushed and lowered his head. He could hear Elijah's soft laughter next to him. "You're right," Sean murmured.

"It won't be like that anymore," Elijah said. "He's out of the closet now."

"So to speak," Billy said dryly, to shouts of laughter from the others.

"The house is so beautiful," Billy added, looking around the great room. "It's perfect for you."

"Well," Elijah laughed. "Right now it looks like…"

"A funeral home," Sean moaned. "All these flowers! Gabrielle insisted and we didn't have the heart to say no!"

“I like them!” Dom said stoutly. “They give the place a… I mean a sort of… errm… rather a…”

“Morgue like effect?” Billy said, smiling innocently.

Laughing, Elijah stood up and took Billy off to see the grounds while Sean and Dom sat quietly talking.

“You ready for this?” Dom asked him.

Sean nodded. “It’s funny, Dom,” he said. “I don’t even feel nervous. It’s just so – oh, I dunno, just so _’right’_ that this happens. I know we belong together. I’ve always known it. Tomorrow just validates what has been the truth of my heart for fifteen years.”

“I’m sorry it took so long, Seanie,” Dom said.

“Me too. But maybe it had to be that way so we’d appreciate what we have now and never let it go again. And I won’t,” he told Dom with absolute conviction. “I will never let him go again.”

The next day they finished last minute preparations then fought off butterflies as they dressed in their best tuxes. Now and then Dom would yell up to them and they’d dash downstairs with their shirttails hanging out to embrace arriving family or members of the ‘Fellowship’.

Anna stood with Michael Pierce and Mackenzie, while John Astin, looking frail but still dapper, lounged on the couch with his wife. Elijah’s mother chatted with Viggo while his brother and sister helped Gabrielle with last minute preparations for the buffet that was to follow.

Chris and the girls had not arrived yet, and Elijah felt more anxiety about their appearance than he did about anything else happening that day. As late as last night Chris did not know whether or not Elizabeth was coming with her. She knew that her middle daughter was struggling with her decision about coming to the ceremony though Chris told them she had not, as yet, ruled it out.

It was almost time for the ceremony to begin, and Elijah was beginning to wonder if **any** of Sean’s daughters were going to be present, when he heard Mackenzie laughingly cry out: “Well, it’s about **time!** ”

Elijah saw Chris enter the room with her date. For a moment he stood, breathlessly watching, then felt his heart leap with sudden joy as Elizabeth entered behind her two sisters. Sean went to them at once and embraced all three girls. Then, after a moment of quiet conversation, he took Elizabeth’s hand and walked to where Elijah stood in the doorway.

As they approached, Elijah smiled. Sean had always looked good in a tux. But now there was something in his bearing, some quality that seemed to radiate both steadfast strength and an effervescent joy. He had never looked as handsome as he did today.

“Look who’s here,” he said softly as they reached Elijah. “Elizabeth wanted me to bring her over to say 'Hello' to you.”

Elijah held out his hand. “Hello, Elizabeth,” he said. “I can’t tell you how happy I am that you’re here. It means so much to your dad and me.”

“I’m glad to be here, Uncle Elijah,” she said quietly.

Elijah tried to respond, but was too moved to speak. He kissed Elizabeth’s cheek, then turned his eyes to Sean who was also overcome with emotion.

Suddenly Dom was at their side. “It’s time,” he said, taking Elizabeth’s arm. “You two need to go stand over in the archway.” He led Elizabeth back to where Chris, her date, and the girls stood waiting with Mackenzie.

“Who’s the guy?” Elijah asked Sean as they wandered to the archway.

Sean shrugged. “Friend of a friend, I guess. He seems nice.”

“Jealous a little?” Elijah asked, grinning.

Sean gaped at him, shaking his head in disbelief. “You can ask that **today**?” Giggling, Elijah punched playfully at his arm.

On the other side of the room, Viggo paced as the guests slowly gathered in the great room and as the time for the ceremony grew near, Ian approached him, fingering his sheaf of papers. “We ready?” he whispered.

Viggo glanced at Sean and Elijah who now stood in the archway surrounded by the rest of the Fellowship. He lifted his eyebrows questioningly, and Sean nodded. “Ready,” Viggo told Ian, who nodded and moved to stand before the fireplace.

“Dearest friends,” Ian said softly, lifting his hands to ask for quiet. The room stilled at once, and he continued, “We are here today to support the public commitment between these two men whom all of us love. We celebrate this joining. And we celebrate the reunion of our Fellowship who are gathered together once more, to witness the union of our beloved Hobbits who are an integral part of our loving band of companions.”

He lifted his hands toward Sean and Elijah who walked to the fireplace to stand before him. The Fellowship formed a semi-circle around them.

“Our Fellowship will stand with Sean and Elijah, as witnesses.” He smiled at Sean. “Sean, would you take Elijah’s hand?”

Sean was trembling as he took Elijah’s hand in his. He took a deep breath and lifted it to his lips, hoping he would be composed enough to say his vows. Elizabeth’s arrival had already brought him to the verge of tears.

Ian smiled at them and continued, his aristocratic voice echoing in the huge great room: “I watched them fall in love. We all did. We watched them during the filming of 'Lord of the Rings' and we knew that the bond we saw growing between them went far beyond friendship. We watched as the silver cord that bound them one to the other grew ever stronger as they offered to each other, in deepest trust, their innermost feelings. We saw them wrapped together in a cocoon of understanding and protection that no earthly force could ever shatter. We saw them laugh. We saw them cry. We saw them in joy, and in heartbreak. And through all these moments, we watched the bond they shared become stronger, until each became an integral part of the other. This closeness cannot be measured by time. It cannot be spoken in words. It cannot be broken by circumstance. It is a wholeness of the soul, a peace within the spirit, and the highest form of intimacy the heart has to offer.

“Today that same love gathers our Fellowship together once more. And as we were witnesses then to the joining of their hearts, we come together now to witness the joining of their lives. We are gathered to remember and to rejoice. To bless and to be blessed. And to realize, with Sean and Elijah, that it is love, always love, only love, that leads us to our true destination. And to celebrate that they, at last, have arrived.

“This is the ‘Partners in Life’ union of Sean and Elijah. We are here to listen, with love in our hearts, and to share with them their celebration. Sean? Would you say your vows to Elijah?"

Sean took another deep breath then looked into Elijah’s eyes as he began to read his vows, glancing now and then at the paper he held in a trembling hand.

> “Elijah, I love you. And when I tell you I love you, this is what I mean:
> 
> I've waited for you since a day long ago when I walked into a hotel lobby, and captured a lightning bolt in my arms. You have brought me more peace and balance than I have ever known before, and the days since we've been together again have been the most joyous of my life. Your beautiful smile, your deep convictions, your passion and compassion, your beauty both internal and external, your laughter, your sense of adventure, your intelligence, your wisdom, your faith, your courage, your kindness and the lessons of your experience enrich me more with every beat of my heart
> 
> I offer you my past, with its pride, its pain, its joy, and its regrets.
> 
> I offer you my future, promising to walk beside you wherever our journey takes us.
> 
> I offer you this moment, which holds more joy for me than mere words could ever express.
> 
> I offer you all of my joy and fear, my brokenness and my courage, my success and failure, my humor and despair, my loneliness and my connectedness.
> 
> I promise to laugh with you and to laugh at myself.
> 
> I promise to take you seriously when seriousness is called for.
> 
> I promise to hold you while you cry, and to cry in your arms without restraint when sadness finds me.
> 
> I promise to care for you as best I can, and to encourage you to stretch yourself and grow in strength and wisdom so that you can care for yourself.
> 
> I promise to love and nourish myself, cherishing the fact that I am the one whom you have chosen.
> 
> I promise to support you in sharing your gifts with others, to encourage your talent, your generosity and your chosen commitments.
> 
> I promise to listen to you respectfully, and to consider your thoughts and beliefs. And I promise to heed your challenges to my own beliefs, listening with an open heart and an open mind.
> 
> I promise to rest with you, and to always seek balance between work and play.

As he said these words he saw a small smile flicker across Elijah’s lips. Sean smiled back, then went on.

> I promise you nothing less than the rest of my life. You are my closest friend, and I give myself to you without reservation. This is what I mean when I tell you that I love you.
> 
> From this moment on we shall be together, and I promise to be your loving and faithful partner for the rest of our lives.”

Sean’s voice was strong as he spoke his vows. And though nearly overcome with the emotion of the moment, it did not waver. He took another deep breath and glanced at Ian to signal that he had finished. In the background, he could hear soft weeping, though he was not sure who it was. He heard Dom, beside him, whisper one word: _Beautiful…_

Ian nodded to Elijah. “Elijah, please say your vows to Sean.”

Elijah drew in a shaky breath. Sean’s vows had nearly undone him. He was trembling all over, and he swallowed hard as he gripped Sean’s hand, praying that he could get through this. But the hazel eyes that were locked on his were filled with love, and Elijah felt the warmth of that love flow into him… strengthening his resolve.

> “Sean,” he said softly, “I love you. And when I say I love you, what I mean is…
> 
> Everything within me, my most analytical thoughts, the goose bumps and butterflies I feel today, the love and trust I feel for you, and most especially the still small voice deep within me, speaks to me with absolute certainty about the rightness of committing my life to you, about the rightness of committing myself to **OUR** life… to **OUR** time.

He saw the hazel eyes slant as Sean grinned at the reference to ‘Goonies’, and all nervousness suddenly left him. This was Sean. His Seanie. His Sam. And today he would speak the words that affirmed the truth that Elijah had known for fifteen years: that they belonged together. When he spoke again, his voice was strong and vibrant.

> “Sean, we are so much stronger when we're together than we are when we're apart. And I know that our ability to grow in mind, in heart, and in spirit is infinitely greater when we are side by side.
> 
> I promise to stand firm beside you as your partner in pursuing wisdom, adventure, creativity, peace, and joy.
> 
> I promise to love and honor whom you are rather than who I imagine you to be or need you to be, and to offer myself to you always in complete honesty and openness of heart.
> 
> I promise to support you when your strength is challenged and to ask for your help when I falter.
> 
> I promise to hold you in my heart completely during difficult times as well as in the joyous ones.
> 
> I promise to be open to challenges, change, and the unexpected as we both grow in new ways, safe in the security of our love for each other.”

He paused for a moment and glanced to his right where Sean’s three daughters stood together at the very forefront of the gathering. Then his eyes found Sean’s again, and he spoke:

> “I promise to be an honest friend and steadfast support to your children, holding them close in my heart as a beloved part of you, the one I love.
> 
> And, finally, I promise to be open to all the laughter, wonder, and mystery that life can offer us as we take this journey together.
> 
> With you my joys are greater and my sorrows diminished. My spirit is cherished in your care, and it always has been. From this day forward, we are joined. We are One. We are Sam and Frodo now and forever. And I promise to be your loving and faithful partner for the rest of our lives.”

Sean’s eyes had filled when Elijah spoke of his children, and the entire ‘Fellowship’ had been deeply moved by the reference to Sam and Frodo. And now as they both struggled for composure, Viggo stepped forward and stood beside Ian.

“Sean and Elijah will now exchange rings,” Viggo said in his distinctive voice, “They are seamless circles of joy symbolizing the love you share. They are a sign of your willingness to share life's journey with each other. Like the ring that joined you so long ago in beautiful New Zealand, we hope that these rings will always symbolize everything that love means to both of you.”

He turned to Dom and held out his hand for the ring, which Dom surrendered. Viggo then turned to Sean and placed it in his hand.

“Sean, you will give this ring to Elijah, as a symbol of the love that lives deep within you, an unbroken promise that you are bound to him always, with all the love in your heart.”

Sean took the ring, his breath trembling in his chest, and as he slowly slipped it on Elijah’s finger, he spoke:

> “Elijah, please accept this ring as a symbol of the promises we made to each other today. Accept it as a token of the love that I feel for you. Accept it as a humble gift from one who feels utterly blessed to have you by his side. As we begin our life’s journey together, I pledge to you the best part of who I am. I pledge to be your Sam, now as I was then… and forever as I am today.
> 
> With this ring I commit myself to you.”

Viggo turned to Billy and held out his hand for the ring, which Billy quickly placed in his palm.

“Elijah,” Viggo intoned, “you will give this ring to Sean, as a symbol of the love that lives deep within you, an unbroken promise that you are bound to him always, with all the love in your heart.”

Elijah’s hand was trembling as he took the ring from Viggo. He gripped Sean’s hand and slowly slipped the white gold band onto his finger.

> “Seanie, I give you this ring as an expression of my love and commitment to our life together.
> 
> I'm honored to place it on your finger as a symbol of the promises I've made to you today, and a proclamation to the world of the love I feel for you. The love I have felt every day since we met. A love born in the beauty of New Zealand. A love that has remained steadfast every day since then. This is **MY** ‘one ring to rule them all’ and the one love to rule my heart… forever.
> 
> With this ring I commit myself to you.”

They stood for a moment, hands clasped, each with tears trembling on the edge of falling, while the room waited in utter silence.

Then Viggo spoke: “By the authority vested in me by the love of our ‘Fellowship’ and the faith we have in one another, I announce to the world that Sean Astin and Elijah Wood are partners in life.” He then leaned forward and winked at Sean, whispering: “You may now kiss the bride.”

Elijah opened his mouth to utter a sharp squawk of protest, but Sean quickly closed it with a kiss, pulling Elijah tight in his arms, laughing softly against the lips he adored.

They were only given a moment to embrace before they were surrounded by their guests, many of whom were weeping. Sean Bean lifted Elijah off his feet in a gigantic hug, while Sean was mauled by Dom, Billy, and Orlando.

“ **Beautiful** , dude!” Orlando said, whapping Sean on the back. “Makes me want to turn gay!”

“Turn gay?” Dom twitted him? “ _ **TURN**_ gay?”

“Kiss me,” Orlando said, holding out his arms. Dom immediately complied while Sean doubled over laughing.

Bean deposited Elijah on the floor, still hugging him, then faced him toward Sean’s daughters who stood together waiting for their turn. Alexandra was first. “What you said about us in your vows,” she said, her voice wavering on the edge of tears. “Thank you, Uncle Elijah. I’m just so happy for both of you.”

As Ally moved to embrace her father, Isabella fell into Elijah’s arms. She was crying and Elijah hugged her tight. “So beautiful,” she said, half-sobbing. “So beautiful!”

“Thank you, baby,” he said. “It **WAS** beautiful, wasn’t it.”

She kissed his cheek, then went to Sean who wrapped an arm around each of his daughters while Elijah faced Elizabeth.

She looked up at him. Tears sparkled in her eyes and on her cheeks. Elijah was suddenly struck to the heart by how young Elizabeth was. Of how innocent she looked as she gazed at him. He smiled and reached to embrace her. “Sweetie, I’m so glad you were here. It means more to me than I could ever tell you.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. “It was so beautiful… what you and daddy said to each other.”

“Honey, I meant every word of it.”

For a long time he and Sean had no word alone together. They each made it a point to speak to everyone present. Many friends other than their ‘Fellowship’ comrades had attended, and each of their families was well represented. They wandered about the room as their guests ate from the gorgeous buffet Gabrielle had arranged, thanking them for coming and accepting their congratulations. Finally the food and plates were taken away, and Dom, helped by Billy and Orlando, began pushing the furniture aside to create a dance floor.

In minutes Elijah’s very up-scale sound system was carted in, and the guests began to dance. Mackenzie gyrated in the center of the room with all three of Sean’s daughters as partners, and Sean watched in both surprise and delight as his two famous parents took to the floor, awing the cheering guests with a very respectable jitter-bug.

He was not quite as delighted when he saw Orlando tug Alexandra away from her uncle. They begin a rather intense fast dance, twisting gleefully in time with the music. Spotting him watching from the sidelines, Alexandra waved and Orlando grinned at him. Sean shook his fist playfully in their direction, hoping Orlando would get the point, but they both laughed and went back to their dance.

Sean sighed and looked for Elijah. He spotted him at once, dancing with his sister; Billy and Dom were capering close by. Elijah was laughing and moving with the beat of the music. His sparkling expression and the free and easy movement of his body conveyed an exuberant joy. And, watching him, Sean could not imagine any other scenario for his life that could possibly compete with this one. To see Elijah this happy, and to know that the reason for it was the ceremony they had shared today in front of their friends and families was all that Sean could ever hope for.

Spotting him, Elijah waved him over. “Hey, Astin! C’mere! Let’s dance!”

Sean quickly closed the distance between them, and they began to move sensuously to the music, laughing as their audience egged them on. Elijah’s arms wound around Sean’s neck, and for a moment they swayed together, then Elijah giggled and turned, backing against Sean, swaying lightly in a sensual movement that brought quick cheers and more than a few cat-calls from the gathered assembly.

“Whooo!” Dom hooted. “Take it off!”

“Get a room!” Mackenzie yelled.

Sean backed away, laughing, as Elijah turned and grinned at him. “What? Had enough already?” he gibed.

Sean blushed and waved dismissively at the guests who, seeing his discomfort, began to boo good-naturedly.

“Tease!” Billy laughed. He grabbed Dom’s hand and bounced him to a corner where they began to dance with unrestrained delight.

“Oh, daddy, you stick-in-the-mud!” Elizabeth said, brushing past her father to grab Elijah’s hand. “C’mon, Unk! Let’s dance!!”

Elijah complied at once, though his movements were much more sedate than the ones he’d used with Sean. He twirled Elizabeth until she shrieked with laughter while Sean watched them from the sidelines, thinking that he could not possibly survive any more happiness than that which bubbled within him at the moment.

And then suddenly the music changed to a slower, more haunting melody. Sean saw Viggo at the CD player, smiling across at him. He pointed first to Sean, then to Elijah… then down at the player, indicating clearly that he was playing this song for them. After a moment of silence, the soft, hypnotic voice of Tony Bennett filled the room.

 _Time after time  
I tell myself that I’m  
So lucky to be loving you…._

Sean turned back to where Elijah stood with Elizabeth’s hand still held in his. He was watching Sean, and his face shone with a look of enraptured love so powerful that Sean was staggered. Slowly, he walked to them. “Excuse me, honey,” he said quietly to Elizabeth. “But I think this dance is mine.”

Elizabeth smiled and stepped back as Sean took Elijah in his arms. He was trembling all over. This kind of public demonstration normally left him feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable. But at this singular moment in his life, he knew what he had to do. He had to take Elijah in his arms and dance with him as this song played.

Elijah took a deep breath and kissed Sean’s cheek. And then, feeling a bit overcome, he pressed his face against Sean’s neck, his arms tightening as they swayed to the music.

 _So lucky to be  
The one you run to see  
In the evening, when the day is through_

Elijah could feel Sean’s body shaking in his arms. With a sharp inhale they suddenly clasped each other close. Elijah could feel his control slipping away. The moment was just too intensely emotional. They had waited so long. The feelings that burned within them now were simply too compelling for either of them to push aside. He heard Sean draw in a long breath. “Damn Viggo anyway,” he growled against Elijah’s ear.

They both leaned back as one and gazed into each other’s eyes. Then, again as one, they burst into laughter.

 _I only know what I know  
The passing years will show  
You’ve kept my love so young, so new_

 

Still, they swayed to the music. Joy shone naked and unashamed from their faces, which glowed with an almost unearthly beauty as they looked at each other. The moment was almost too intimate to be borne and many of the guests dropped their eyes.

But not Mack. His arm slid around Elizabeth’s waist and he watched intently as his brother and Elijah danced. “Still have doubts?” he asked his niece.

She glanced up at him, and Mackenzie saw that her eyes were shining. “No, Uncle Mack. Not anymore. They're beautiful together.”

 _And time after time  
You’ll hear me say that I’m  
So lucky to be loving you_

As the song drew to a close Sean held his lover closer and kissed him with uninhibited passion. All the rules and restrictions that had heretofore regulated how he lived his life had suddenly vanished, burned away like mist in a hot sun. His embarrassment and self-conscious fear had dissolved. All that was left was this one moment in time, and the man he held so tightly in his arms. He wanted them all to see what he _knew_ with every fiber of his being. That this was where the passion of his life would be spent. With this man. With this love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later Sean and Elijah slowly walked through their home surveying the rubble left in the wake of their party. They were tired and a touch of champagne ‘high’ made them weave as they wandered through the empty rooms. They idly picked up odds and ends that had been left behind and sampled some of the desserts and hors d'oeuvres that still sat here and there on trays.

They had instructed Gabrielle to leave all cleaning up until tomorrow and sent her off to her small house to get some rest. It had been a glorious day. And everyone had agreed that it was one of the best parties they’d ever attended.

They had asked several of their friends to spend the night, most notably Dom and Billy, but everyone had refused, insisting that they share their first night as ‘Life Partners’ alone.

Elijah munched a piece of chocolate cake and looked around the dining room. “What a mess!” he laughed.

“Yeah, well, there’s always tomorrow,” Sean said, licking frosting from his finger.

“Too bad Billy and Dom wouldn’t stay,” Elijah mumbled around a mouthful of cake.

“Yeah. Funny. Why do you suppose they insisted on leaving?”

Elijah glanced at Sean and saw that his face was alight with repressed mirth. “Gee, I dunno,” he responded dryly. “But I think… I **THINK**..… that maybe they thought…” he hesitated and glanced around distrustfully. “They thought we were going to have…” he lowered his voice to a hushed whisper, then spoke: _“…. sex!”_

“SEX!” Sean spouted. “They thought we were going to have **SEX** ?!”

Elijah nodded sagely. “Yeah, how silly are **THEY**? Weird, huh?”

Sean nodded, then walked slowly toward him. “I don’t have sex with you,” he said, taking Elijah into his arms and kissing him hungrily. “I make love to you,” he murmured against Elijah’s ear, his voice hushed.

“That you do,” Elijah agreed.

They walked to their bedroom, hand in hand. When they entered, Elijah moved toward the closet, thinking to remove his tux, but Sean stopped him and tugged him to the side of the bed. He sat down, standing Elijah before him, looking up at him with shining eyes.

Elijah’s tie hung loosely around his neck. He had opened the first few buttons of his shirt as he exerted himself dancing and he wore the loosened tux with a casual grace that Sean couldn’t help but envy. Even half-unbuttoned and a bit unkempt, Elijah was stunning. His rumpled clothes merely served to enhance the sensual fire that always seemed to burn just below the surface. The skin under his eyes was dark with exhaustion, giving his face a look of barely restrained passion.

Sean slowly lifted his hands and guided Elijah’s jacket from his shoulders. It slid, unnoticed, from his body to lie on the floor at his feet. Sean's fingers then fumbled at the buttons that remaining closed on Elijah’s shirt, opening them one at a time, then letting the white shirt and black tie slip down to join the jacket.

He pressed his face against Elijah’s t-shirt, his breath hot against the soft surface of the cloth, the last barrier between him and the nakedness he craved. He felt the heat generated by Elijah’s nearness fill his chest with an urgent longing that instantly surged lower, sending hot sparks of desire to his groin, hardening him in an instant. “God,” he breathed against the cloth. “So beautiful. So beautiful.”

Elijah’s fingers were in his hair, tangled in his curls, pressing Sean’s face harder against his body. “Seanie,” he murmured. “My Seanie.”

Sean’s hands slid underneath Elijah’s t-shirt, caressing his back, then slowly moving to caress his chest and sides. He heard Elijah moan softly as his fingers teasingly slid over velvet soft nipples, and felt the fingers carding through his curls suddenly clench. He raised his hands to remove the t-shirt, his lips forming soft kisses as he revealed the smooth skin beneath. His tongue moved slowly over the soft, pale skin, as hot pangs of pleasure flamed through his body.

Elijah’s fingers moved to his shoulders, pushing at his dinner jacket, trying to slide it off. Sean leaned back for an instant to remove it, then groped blindly for the snap of Elijah’s slacks.

“Wait,” Elijah breathed. “Sean, wait.” As Sean looked up questioningly, Elijah’s nimble fingers flew to the front of his shirt, quickly unbuttoning his shirt buttons and removing his tie. His hand moved over Sean’s shoulders and down his back, then clutched at the hem of his t-shirt and drew it roughly over Sean’s head. “Now!” he said, and taking Sean’s hands, he pressed them firmly against the erection pulsing beneath his zippered slacks. “Do it now!” he whispered urgently.

Sean looked up at him, his hazel eyes slowly darkening to emerald as he gently stroked the hardness of Elijah’s arousal. He felt it throb beneath the cloth and heard him begin to make soft whimpering sounds in his throat. Sean moaned and pressed his face against Elijah’s skin, his own erection rock hard. He lowered Elijah’s zipper slowly as he kissed and licked the sleek, slender body beneath his lips, then he hooked his thumbs under the waistband of both slacks and briefs, lowering them in one long pull.

Elijah stepped back, kicking his shoes off. There was no sound in the room except the harsh rush of their breath and the rustle of cloth as they parted zippers and removed what was left of their clothing. That done, they lay on top of the comforter together and for a long time they held each other close, not saying a word.

“Do you feel…” Elijah whispered, then hesitated.

“Feel what, baby?” Sean prompted.

“Feel _married_?” Elijah said.

Sean laughed and pressed his lips against the curve of Elijah’s neck, licking the smooth skin, kissing it tenderly. Then he shrugged. “Always did,” he said. “I didn’t want the ceremony in order to feel married. I’ve always felt that way with you. I wanted to publicly commit my life to you while the ‘Fellowship’ was together. God knows if it’ll ever happen again. I wanted them to see us proclaim our relationship to the world.”

“So now you don’t care if the world knows?”

Again, Sean shrugged. “I never did care really. Not for my sake. I cared for YOUR sake. Still do. But no, I’m done hiding. Tonight was it. You’re my life partner and the world can take it or leave it.”

“Good! Because that’s what I want, too.”

“Elijah, you still have a career to consider. I’m willing to be extremely discreet as long as that’s a factor.”

“Fuck it,” Elijah told him, stretching out on his back. “It’s too much aggravation to have to worry about it. I’d rather just be honest and let the chips fall where they will.”

Sean leaned over him, his lips moved slowly down Elijah’s chest. The skin under his tongue was honeyed cream. Still beautiful. Still silken smooth. He slid lower in their bed, wetting Elijah’s nipples, then nibbling them until he felt his lover’s back arch and heard him groan in anguished pleasure.

He could hear his own breathing becoming labored as his tongue slowly moved lower. He wove a zig-zag path across Elijah’s taut belly, then stopped to lick the dark skin of his tattoo. He was dimly aware of Elijah’s whimpers above him. “Love you,” he whispered against the quivering flesh beneath his lips. “God, I love you.”

He felt Elijah’s fingers clawing at his hair. The hardness of his erection pulsed against Sean’s cheek. He licked across Elijah’s navel, feeling desire thunder through him, setting his body on fire. His own cock was rigid. Painfully so. He pressed himself against the bed as he lay between Elijah’s legs, praying he would be able to control the longing that ripped through him long enough to satisfy them both. He turned his face to lick slowly up the length of Elijah’s cock… wanting with all his soul to give this man that he loved more pleasure than he’d ever experienced before.

Elijah gasped and arched in a frenzy of yearning. “Oh god,” he moaned. “Sean…. Seanie… please….”

Sean captured Elijah’s erection between both hands as he leaned over him. His tongue lapped sensuously. After a moment, both hands moved to gasp Elijah’s hips. He felt Elijah lift his hips, and as he did Sean allowed his throbbing hardness to glide into his mouth. Elijah’s hips twitched and he cried out, but Sean’s hands gripped him gently holding him still. He sucked gently, almost lazily, stopping now and then to swirl his tongue around the head, then flicking rapidly, paying special attention to the split on the underside of his penis.

He heard Elijah above him whimpering in pleasure. His body moved wantonly as he lifted his hips upward again and again. He was gasping for breath, nearly panting, each exhale a whimpering moan. Sean thought he had never heard anything as erotic as Elijah’s cries of pleasure. Each one slammed him like a physical touch, taking his breath, heightening his already feverish desire.

He hunched against the bed, rubbing himself against it as his tongue and lips caressed Elijah’s hard male heat. He gripped Elijah’s cock, pumping it gently as his tongue beat a pattern against the sensitive head. His other hand moved to caress his thighs, grazing his testicles.

“God, Sean!” Elijah cried. “I’m going to come! I can’t stop!”

“Oh yes, you can,” Sean groaned, releasing him gently. “Wait,” he breathed. “Baby, wait.”

He licked and kissed his way up Elijah’s belly and chest, extending his hand to the nightstand to grab the small tube he had laid there earlier. Now he pressed his body against the more slender frame beneath him and kissed him with passionate hunger. “Want you,” he whispered shakily. “Jesus, Elijah… want you so much I could scream.”

“And I want YOU,” Elijah replied. “Want you NOW. Enough foreplay, Astin. Enough with the teasing.” His fingers dug into Sean’s broad shoulders. “Fuck me!” he ground out between clenched teeth. “Fuck me now!”

Sean smeared them both with the slippery lubricant, and eased himself just barely inside Elijah’s body. He felt his lover tense, so he stopped, though the aching need within him was nearly unbearable.

“OK?” he gasped. “Lij? OK?”

After a moment Elijah nodded. “Now,” he whispered. “Now, Seanie.”

Moving slowly, Sean joined his body to Elijah’s until he had embedded himself deeply within him. Now his hips began to thrust in a sensuous rhythm. Buried within him, Sean moaned and rocked, drowning in sensation. Elijah’s body was a hot, tight furnace that clasped him in an iron grip. He thrust deeply again and again as Elijah arched to meet him in a frenzy of yearning.

Sean bent and their lips met in a long, drugging kiss. He reached between them and grasped Elijah’s hardness. There was no need for him to move his hand, the frenzied movement of their bodies was all that was needed. He merely gripped hard, whimpering as he felt himself on the raw edge of coming… desperate with need.

Elijah’s fingers suddenly gripped his shoulders. He cried out… almost a scream as Sean pounded their bodies together, and came with ecstatic bursts of pleasure.

Sean continued moving, thrusting once, twice, then a third time. He pressed himself as deeply into Elijah as he could and came with an intensity that shattered him. Nearly sobbing, Sean felt his head spin. His whole body felt the rapture of his orgasm, as though every pore had burst with it.

“Oh my god,” he gasped. “Oh my god, Elijah. Elijah.” As he murmured Elijah’s name, he felt his lover’s hands moving over his back, stroking him gently. Sean’s arms encircled him, crushing them together. “Oh baby. Jesus, that was incredible.”

Elijah gave a shaky laugh. “I know. God, Seanie, I know.”

Sean kissed his cheek, then his shoulder. “Mmmmm… god, so sweet… so good.”

“Is this what being married is like?” Elijah said with a grin.

“You were married once. What do **you** think?”

“It’s not always this good between us, Sean. I mean it’s always **good**! But this… this was… god, this was… amazing.”

“So you think it was the ceremony?” Sean said, snuggling against him, feeling his body finally relax, totally sated.

“Well it was **something**!” Elijah said. “Why not that?”

Sean moaned low in his throat, then slowly slid to his side, feeling a touch of sadness as he slowly withdrew from Elijah’s body. “Jesus, baby, I don’t know. And I’m not sure I care. I just know that tonight… you took me to heaven.” He leaned on his elbow and gazed beyond his lover to the night outside their patio door. Then he shrugged. “I don’t want it to be the ceremony. Because I’d like to think we can feel this way again, and the ceremony was a once in a lifetime thing. You know?” He looked down at Elijah and grinned.

“You look eleven years old,” Elijah said, his voice warm with love. “Let’s take a shower and get some sleep. It’s four A. M. and we have a ‘Fellowship’ party happening here in the morning. They’re all coming for breakfast, right?”

Sean crawled out of bed, steadying himself on the mattress as he tried to stand. “Jeez, I feel dizzy. You pack quite the wallop. And yeah,” he added, taking Elijah’s arm as he, too, rose. “They’ll be here in about six hours expecting breakfast. Except for Ian and John. They’re flying home today.”

“Ian said he might show for breakfast if he got up early enough,” Elijah said, walking past Sean. “C’mon, babe. Been a big day, and there’s another big one coming tomorrow.”

“That seems to be SOP around here lately,” Sean murmured, following him into the bathroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ‘Fellowship’ reunion had been an unqualified success. Sean and Elijah’s ceremony had been the highest point in a weekend of high points.

They watched all three of the ‘Lord of the Rings’ movies, adding their own rather ungentlemanly commentaries until they all screamed with laughter.

There were raucous debates concerning who-did-what-to-whom when they shot their famous trilogy fifteen years ago. Viggo insisted that Orlando had been frantic to be his lover back in those days. “He couldn’t keep his hands off me,” Viggo stated with absolute certainty.

Orlando lifted an eyebrow and smiled his engaging smile. “I don’t deny you had a certain lecherous appeal,” he said, ruffling Viggo’s hair. “But I was actually more interested in Sean, here.” He draped himself casually across Bean’s lap and kissed his cheek. The entire ‘Fellowship’ roared as Bean, their staunchest heterosexual, tossed Orlando to the floor, his expression horror-stricken.

There were also quiet talks before the fire that lasted into the small hours of the morning. Remembering their extraordinary experiences and the forming of their extraordinary friendships, friendships that had stood the test of time. Catching up with intimate details of each other’s lives, solidifying their ‘Fellowship’, as their renewed bonds of friendship grew ever stronger.

And finally promising that they would **not** let another fifteen years go by before they did this again. Each of them privately hoped that they would all be able to attend the next reunion, and dreaded the inevitable time when their numbers would begin to decrease.

“Ian seemed fine,” Sean said, when the subject of his illness came up. “He seems fully recovered.”

“He does,” Orlando replied. “But I also know that he tires easily and doesn’t like to get too far from home. I’m glad he came. It was heaven to see him again. To see all of you really.” He sighed. “I hate for this to end.”

But finally, with many promises to see each other again soon, the ‘Fellowship’ reunion was over. Billy was staying on in the States for a while, staying with Dom to work on a project together, so Sean and Elijah would be seeing him. And, of course, Viggo and Orlando were Los Angeles residents, so they’d be in touch. Bean, however, along with Ian and John, was headed back to England and their farewell from him and these other beloved companions was much sadder.

Yet, these friendships would always be a part of them. They had all been transformed by the making of the 'Lord of the Rings' trilogy. They had all been formed and reformed in that one blessed crucible in their far away Middle-earth. And it would be part of them all… forever.


	9. Time After Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Oscar time.

It was over a week since the ‘Fellowship’ reunion, and the Oscar nominations were being announced that morning. Sean was nearly sick with excitement. He tried not to toss and turn lest he awaken Elijah, but was completely unable to sleep. For a long time he lay quietly looking down into Elijah’s sleeping face, gently stroking his brow and wondering what changes this day would bring to their lives.

Finally at 4 A.M. he gave up. Since then he had been sitting in his office compulsively refreshing the computer's screen every 10 seconds even though he **knew** that the nominations wouldn't be announced until 6:00.

He couldn’t help himself. Logic played no role whatsoever in what he was doing. So intent was his focus on the computer screen before him that he nearly leapt out of his skin when Elijah approached and quietly set a mug of coffee down beside him.

“Whoa!” Elijah said when Sean jumped nervously. “Take it easy! How long have you been up?”

“I dunno,” Sean moaned. “Forever. I couldn’t sleep. What time is it?” He glanced at the computer screen and sighed. 5:00. Another hour before he could even hope to get answers to the questions that were robbing him of much-needed sleep.

“Go take a shower,” Elijah advised. “Come on! It’ll only take 10 minutes, then you can come back and go on hitting ‘refresh’ fifty times a minute. C’mon, Sean. It’ll be good for you.”

Sean sipped his coffee and peered doubtfully at Elijah. “You think so?”

“I do,” Elijah said, confidently. “And at the very least I know that what you’re doing now **isn’t** good for you. You need to take a break.”

Sean sat his coffee mug down and glanced up at Elijah. “Under one condition,” he said, putting on his most mischievous face.

“What’s that?”

“Take a shower with me,” he said, smiling and waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“You’re incorrigible!” Elijah laughed.

Sean’s arms encircled his waist and, groaning with pleasure, he pressed his face against Elijah’s chest, inhaling the scent of his skin, rocking him as he stood before Sean’s chair.

“C’mon, baby,” Sean said pleadingly. “Take a shower with me. Save me from myself. That's your job isn't it?”

“I think you planned this entire thing,” Elijah said, laughing. He pulled Sean to his feet. “C’mon you shyster.”

“Right behind you, love,” Sean said, gently pushing Elijah toward the door.

“I bet you’re not even **dirty**!” Elijah teased. “Any old excuse just to see me naked.”

“Jesus, you got **that** right!”

By the time they returned from the bathroom it was close to six. Elijah was feeling the butterflies himself by this time, and he sat at the computer with Sean, choking down coffee and trying his best to stay calm.

When six A.M. finally arrived, Sean took a deep breath and hit F5 to refresh the screen. It slowly began to appear before them. And then they saw them. The nominations were there on the screen. Sean and Elijah both leaned toward the computer, squinting into its light as they read.

They slowly looked at each other. “Oh my god,” Sean breathed. They turned back to the screen once more. “Oh my **GOD!** ” Sean erupted.

“Sweet Jesus,” Elijah whispered. “I don’t fucking believe it!”

They both firmly believed that their relatively poor showing at the ‘Golden Globes’ was directly attributable to the disclosure about their relationship on the night of the ‘Witness To History’ premiere. Both of them feared that this trend would continue with the Academy Awards, and they had steeled themselves to be content with one or two minor nominations at best.

Now, they stared at the screen in shock as Sean slowly read:

“Best original score,” he intoned. “Best original song. Best film editing. Best screenplay…” he took a deep breath. “Oh, Jesus, Elijah, best **director**!” He looked at Elijah in something close to awe. “And, baby… baby… best leading actor!”

“And,” Elijah said shakily, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “Sean… Seanie… best **picture**! Best fucking **PICTURE**!”

“Holy fuck,” Sean breathed. “Holy fuck, Elijah. **SEVEN** nominations! **SEVEN**!”

They stared at each other for a long moment, then sprang to their feet and embraced, whooping and cheering at the top of their lungs. Sean spun Elijah in a circle, then spun him again. “You’re nominated **AGAIN**!” he yelped.

“ **YOU**!” Elijah cheered, hugging him in delight. “Best director! Best **PICTURE**!”

As they walked toward the house from Sean's office they met Gabrielle who was on her way to the kitchen to start breakfast. She was immediately swept off her feet and spun in circles by her two excitedly cheering employers. “My goodness, what has happened?” she asked breathlessly when they finally set her down.

“More golden men!” Elijah said, laughing and kissing her cheek. “LOTS more golden men, Gabby!”

Sean’s cell phone rang from the office behind them, and this sound was immediately followed by the sound of their house phone ringing. “Here we go,” Elijah said, dashing toward the kitchen door. “You’d better get your cell, baby. It’s going to be one hell of a day!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The time to the Academy Awards passed in a furious rush. Sean and Elijah were inundated with requests for interviews, both from print publications and various other media outlets. They happily accepted every invitation.

They went on the 'Today Show', 'Showbiz Review', 'The Tonight Show', ‘Today’s Entertainment’, and every other major talk show that requested their presence. The hosts were all most accommodating, and allowed them to talk at length about ‘Witness To History’ and its stunning success, but they made it clear from the onset that they also wanted to talk about Sean and Elijah as a couple.

After talking it over, Sean and Elijah had decided to relent and discuss their relationship openly during these pre-Oscar interviews. They understood that it might have had an effect on their showing at the Golden Globes, and that it might also affect how the academy voted at Oscar time. But they both felt it was pointless to turn down the most rare and precious commodity in filmmaking, the chance to promote their film on national television, not once, but many, many times… for free. Their situation would be talked about nationally no matter what they did. It seemed the lesser evil to let their voices be heard at least.

And so they appeared whenever asked. Again and again they told their story, trying to keep it as brief and dispassionate as possible, always stressing that they had appeared in the first place to promote their film, not themselves. Still… the press frenzy continued. And as the time for the Oscar ceremonies grew nearer, the media’s fascination with their tale grew even more intense.

Sean was already fielding other directorial offers. He was stunned by the impact that the Oscar nomination seemed to have on the Hollywood magnates. People who wouldn’t have taken a meeting with him a month ago were now begging to lunch with him. Sean found the entire process overwhelming and more than a little annoying. He told callers that he would not consider other projects until the Oscars were behind him.

“Whew,” he said, hanging up the phone from turning down yet another invitation. “Had no **idea** I had so many friends in this town.”

Elijah laughed as he munched his morning toast. “If you believe **that** …” He let the sentence trail off.

Sean grimaced and shook his head. “You’ve got to be kidding! I was raised in this town, remember?”

Elijah nodded and absently sipped his orange juice. “What has the TV station had to say about all this?”

Sean laughed and seated himself at the table next to Elijah, waving away Gabrielle’s offer to prepare his breakfast. “No thanks, Gabby.” He turned back to Elijah and smiled. “They’re really so nice. They want me to stay, of course. Though they seem a bit bemused by the whole thing. Not quite sure whether I’m still the same old guy, or if I now have to be treated like some kind of major celebrity.”

“How’s ‘In the Light of Truth’ going?” Elijah asked, covering Sean’s hand with his. He knew that Sean loved his award-winning historical series. It might not get the press attention that their movie garnered, but it was dear to his heart nonetheless.

Sean smiled and leaned in to kiss Elijah’s cheek in gratitude. “It’s going well,” he replied. “The station is very pleased with it, and there’s talk of it being video streamed by several companies that provide video to educational venues on a national scale. Schools, intermediate school districts, even some junior colleges.” It was obvious that Sean was very proud of this achievement.

“You’ll be up for an Emmy, too, next thing you know,” Elijah said, rising with his empty glass in his hand. “We’ll have to watch out, Gabby,” he said, handing it to her. “He’ll be such a Hollywood pundit soon that he’ll have no time for us anymore.”

“Elijah!” Sean said, shocked. “How can you even suggest such a thing!”

Gabrielle took the glass and lightly rapped Elijah on the head with her knuckles. “Mister Sean’s not like that, and this you know, Elijah! For shame to speak this way!”

“Ow!” Elijah said, laughing and ducking away. “I was just kidding, you two. Are you in cahoots or something?”

Sean rose and, flinging an arm around Elijah’s waist, scooped him off his feet. “C’mon, you!” he growled. “Let’s get dressed. We have stuff to do today.”

“Help, Gabby!” Elijah yelped, squirming in fake-terror as Sean hauled him toward the stairs. “I’m being kidnapped!”

Gabrielle waved them both away. “Out of my kitchen, you two great clowns. I have stuff to do, too.” She heard them giggling and yelping as they wrestled each other all the way up the stairs, and smiled. “Those golden men,” she said, chuckling. “They sure make for a happy house.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By Oscar night, Sean and Elijah were both exhausted and feeling more than a little jaded. They were delighted by the attention shown their movie, of course. But privately, they agreed that they would be happy when they could go back to a less frenzied routine.

“Jesus,” Sean muttered, fussing with his white tie in front of the mirror. “Was it like this during ‘Rings’?”

“You know you can’t do that. Why do you even bother? Here… let me.” He stood behind Sean and worked on the tie, smiling into his eyes in the mirror. “Was it like **this** during ‘Rings’?” he laughed. “No. It wasn’t like this. It was **worse** than this! Don’t you remember?”

“I’ve probably blocked it out so I don't lose what little is left of my sanity,” Sean said, sighing. “Lij, am I nuts? This is one of the biggest nights of my life, and all I want is for it to be over. That seems so wrong!”

Elijah shrugged and lightly dusted the shoulders of Sean’s black tuxedo jacket with his fingers. “No, it’s not wrong. We felt the same way back then. It was fun and we were excited by it all. But we also knew we didn't want that kind of craziness to go on forever. We wanted eventually to get back to a calmer existence.” He sat down on their bed and lit a cigarette. Sean shot him a worried glance, but decided to ignore the cigarette in the interests of peace. Tonight was not the night to nag at Elijah.

Elijah fell back on the bed and blew smoke toward the ceiling. “We were younger then though,” he observed mildly.

“Thanks for reminding me,” Sean said, sitting down beside him and poking his ribs with a searching finger.

“Oh, you know what I mean,” Elijah said, sitting up. “I think we were just better able to handle the parties and late hours. We were more ‘into’ that side of things then. Now, we’d just as soon be home together.”

“That’s a fact,” Sean said, nuzzling his cheek.

“I want it to be over, too,” Elijah said, turning to crush out his cigarette in a nearby ashtray. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not grateful for the acclaim the movie’s gotten. And I **am** enjoying parts of it. It’s the press hounding us about **US** that bugs me. I could have dealt with them just asking about the movie.”

Sean nodded, chewing his lower lip, lost in thought. Then he asked Elijah, “You have a speech ready?”

“Yeah, I do. A short one. You?”

“Finished it today. The usual long list of people to thank,” he smiled at Elijah. “I tried not to be too schmaltzy.”

“But why?” Elijah said, grinning. “You **are** schmaltzy!”

Sean opened his mouth to reply, but was cut short when his cell phone rang. “Hello? Oh, hi, baby!” he said, smiling happily. “Elizabeth,” he whispered in an aside to Elijah.

“No,” Sean said into the receiver. “You girls are going in a separate limo. We’re meeting you there. Uncle Dom and Uncle Viggo will be with us. They’re being picked up first. But you’ll go down the red carpet with Elijah and me. They’ll head into the theater and wait for us.”

There was a silence as Sean listened, then he nodded. “Yeah, it should be there in about a half hour.” Then his mouth fell open. “What?!” he exclaimed. “Elizabeth!”

Elijah turned to him anxiously. “Sean? What the…”

Then Sean laughed and shook his head at Elijah, indicating it was nothing. “Not funny, young lady. Tonight is **not** the night to razz the old man. I’m on my last nerve… and on Elijah’s last one, too.” He laughed again. “OK, babe. No lagging now. You girls be ready when that car comes!” He listened for a moment, then laughed. “I’ll bet. Well, tell her to haul ass. We’ll see you in an hour or so.”

He hung up and said to Elijah, “She asked me if I minded that she dyed her hair bright pink last night. Like to give me a fucking heart attack. Says that Issy is dragging her feet.”

Elijah laughed. “Sounds like Lizzie,” he said warmly, then stood to check his reflection in the mirror for the 100th time that night. “Issy’s just nervous. She’ll be fine once things get rolling.”

Sean nodded and watched him, his eyes shining with love. No matter how well things turned out tonight, nothing on Earth could possibly make him happier than witnessing the sweetly loving relationship that was rapidly developing between Elijah and Elizabeth. He had even taken her out to dinner without Sean in attendance. They were quickly becoming close friends.

 _They’re really quite a lot alike,_ Sean thought . _Both fiercely loyal. Both incredibly loving. Both possessing an irrepressible sense of fun.”_ It didn’t occur to him that he had described himself as well, but he had.

Their limo arrived just on time. Billy had been forced to return to Scotland on business so could not join them, but Viggo and Dom were already situated in the back seats. “You nervous?” Dom asked. He knew the answer of course, but couldn’t resist twitting Sean.

“Who me?” Sean said nonchalantly, pouring champagne as they pulled away. “Not **ME**! Elijah here, though. He’s been a wreck all day.”

Elijah rolled his eyes and accepted a champagne glass. “Riiiight,” he drawled. “And if you believe **that** I have some interesting land to sell you right after the awards.”

“Well, I don’t think you have a thing to worry about,” Viggo said, lifting his glass to Sean and Elijah. “I think you’re a shoo-in.”

“Well, they **would** be,” Dom said, grinning, “if not for all that pesky gay-sex stuff.”

“That **is** a bit of a sticky wicket,” Sean said as he clinked his glass with Viggo’s.

“The stickier the better,” Elijah remarked dryly, to shouts of laughter.

By the time they reached the staging area, Sean was feeling his champagne, and glad of it. His hands were shaking as he emerged from the car, and the crowds and spotlights gave a surreal, dreamlike quality to their surroundings. “Hey, pops!” a voice called, and he turned to see his three daughters walking toward him.

They were dressed in floor-length, black velvet skirts topped by the Parisian silk blouses and shawls that Sean and Elijah had given them when they returned to the USA. They all looked incredibly lovely. There were hugs all around, then Dom and Viggo said their farewells.

“See you later,” Dom said, hugging Sean tight. “Relax,” he said quietly. “What happens tonight doesn’t matter, Sean.” He leaned back to gaze into his eyes. “Look around you, man. You’re already a winner.”

Sean felt tears start in his eyes, and kissed Dom’s cheek. “You got that right, buddy. We’ll see you inside.”

Viggo embraced them both then followed Dom toward the theater entrance set aside for guests who would not be using the red carpet.

“Well,” Elijah said, taking Elizabeth’s arm. “Here we go, big guy.”

Sean swallowed hard. Ally was on his left arm, and he held Isabella’s hand with his right. The otherworldly quality of his surroundings had vanished when Dom spoke into his ear. He was right, of course. Oscars came and went. Who even remembered from year to year who had won them? But this… the beauty of these people whom he loved so deeply, all together at his side? This was the true meaning of joy.

Picture done by from a picture she took at the Oscars  
and the banner done by myself and .  
He felt a deep sense of calm fill him, and as they began their walk up the red carpet, he leaned forward and kissed Elijah’s cheek. “Thank you,” he whispered. “Thank you for being with me.”

Elijah looked his surprise. “Where else would I be?”

“And thank you, too,” he said, turning to his daughters. “All three of you. Having you with me here is what really matters to me. No matter what happens tonight, I couldn’t be more happy.”

“Yeah?” Elizabeth said pertly over her shoulder as she walked ahead with Elijah. “You just wait ‘til you’ve got one of those golden men in your hands, daddy. I’ll be willing to bet you find room for just a **liiiitle** more happiness.” She and Elijah both giggled and Sean rolled his eyes. It was going to be one hell of a night.

They met Harlow and David on the carpet and greeted them joyfully. The two young producers had put their complete faith in Sean. They had wanted no one but him to helm their movie, and had never once second-guessed his decisions. Sean liked both these brilliant young moviemakers, and felt deeply grateful to them. They had stood by him and Elijah unquestioningly during the press frenzy over their 'coming out' the night of the movie’s premiere, and Sean would never forget it.

Now, they all walked together down the red carpet toward the press area. As always, Sean and Elijah stopped to sign autographs for their fans. Many of them waved images of Sean and Elijah as Sam and Frodo and begged for a signature. Sean spotted a sign in the crowd reading: “Sam and Frodo: True Love Forever”. He pointed it out to Elijah and they both waved at the sign-holders, giving them an enthusiastic ‘thumbs-up’.

When they reached the press area, an aide moved forward to escort the Astin girls to their seats. Sean, as usual, would not permit them to be interviewed. They had been photographed walking the red carpet with their famous ‘fathers’. That was enough.

He, Elijah, David, and Harlow did stop however, and spent quite some time talking with various film crews. They refused to answer any questions about themselves or their relationship, stating merely that those questions had already been answered countless times, but talked instead about their movie, and about the fine men and women who had been part of their cast and crew.

Launa Fendrick, their leading lady, joined them in the interviews, along with the screenwriter and various other department heads. They were a joyous group. They knew they had created an extraordinary film. They believed, along with their director and leading man, that they would be forever proud of the work they had done together commemorating the life of a remarkable journalist. And they knew they would feel this way whether or not they went home tonight with one of the coveted golden statues.

Eventually, the press released them, and their party found its way to their assigned seats. It had been years since Sean had been in the huge and incredibly beautiful Kodak Theatre. He hadn’t seen the inside of this building since he had sat here with his ‘Lord of the Rings’ cast-mates the night ‘Return of the King’ swept the Oscars.

He had been determined not to indulge in any unabashed displays of physical affection with Elijah tonight if he could help it. He would not withhold his devotion, of course. He simply wanted their appearance together tonight to be as decorous as possible. But as he surveyed his surroundings, he suddenly felt light headed and groped for Elijah’s hand.

He turned to Sean at once, gripping his hand. “You OK?” Elijah asked.

“Yeah,” Sean whispered. “I’m just a bit… you know… a bit…” he sank into his seat, still clutching Elijah’s hand.

“Sean?” Elijah said anxiously, glancing toward Sean’s daughters, who were chatting and seating themselves, unaware of any difficulty. “Tell me. Are you OK?”

“I’m fine,” Sean laughed. “I’m sorry. I just felt a bit overwhelmed for a second. I haven’t been in this room since ‘King’.” He grinned at Elijah. “While, you, on the other hand, have been here more often than the damned custodian!”

Elijah laughed and seated himself next to Sean. “Don’t scare me like that!”

“Hey, don’t worry, kiddo. I’m not **that** old and decrepit. I’m not about to croak on you.”

“Don’t even **tease** about such a thing!” Elijah said sharply.

“What’s he doing?” a cheerful voice asked, and looking up, they both saw Mackenzie approaching. “Sean making a fuss?” He squeezed past Sean and Elijah and took his seat beside the three girls, then turned and leaned toward Sean. “You two OK? Where’s mom?”

Sean pointed toward the rear of the theater. “She’s back there with Dad, Michael and Elijah’s mom. These are all the up front seats we could get. You’re lucky **you’re** here.”

“And we’re fine, Mack,” Elijah interjected. “Thanks for asking.” He nodded his head toward Sean. “Your brother just scared the crap out of me. But he’s fine.”

Mackenzie reached over to pat Sean’s arm. “Relax,” he said soothingly. “This is your night, bro. Enjoy it.”

The ceremony was a lengthy one, but Sean found the entire proceedings fascinating. It took quite some time to get to the point where the major awards began to be dispersed. But he and Elijah had made it their business to see all the other nominated films, even the short subjects and foreign entries, so they were familiar with the movies being discussed on stage.

Elijah had entered into this endeavor a bit half-heartedly, but Sean felt he owed it to their competitors, and now he watched intently as the academy voiced their opinions about which of these offerings was the best of those nominated.

He and Elijah quietly shared their thoughts on the winners and losers, and laughed as several private bets they had placed with each other were decided.

“You blew that one,” Elijah said, grinning.

“You keeping score?” Sean asked him in a hushed whisper.

“Damn straight!” Elijah muttered. “You’re down $20.”

But now they were coming to it, and Sean felt his chest constrict with a combination of excitement and dread. The butterflies in his stomach were back and had reached gargantuan proportions. He could feel his heart pounding against his chest. “Here we go,” he murmured to Elijah as they prepared to announce the first category for which ‘Witness To History’ had been nominated: ‘Best Screenplay’.

They held their breaths as the envelope was opened, then leapt to their feet with exuberant cheers as the name of ‘Witness To History’s’ screenwriter was announced at the podium.

To their delight, their movie also won for ‘Best Film Editing’, an award that gave Sean an immense amount of satisfaction. He blew a kiss to his head editor, who thanked him from the podium, stating that Sean had shared in every aspect of the editing process and was as deserving of the Oscar as he.

“Witness To History’ also won for ‘Best Song’ and ‘Best Original Score’, wins that surprised no one, since the title song from the movie had been number one on the charts for weeks after the soundtrack had been released. Elijah applauded wildly for this win, though in fact he did not like the song all that much and was frankly astounded that it had become such a smash hit. He was proud to be acknowledged as an expert in popular music, but in this instance he was happy to be proven wrong.

When the winner for ‘Best Actor’ was announced, Sean had to summon every ounce of strength not to show his disappointment. Elijah did not get the Oscar. He took a moment to gather himself after applauding the winner then turned to Elijah who was staring at him, grinning hugely.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Sean said unhappily.

“I’m not,” Elijah stated flatly. “I figured they wouldn’t give it to me two years in a row. My wish tonight isn’t for me. It’s for you… and for the picture.”

Dom leaned over their shoulders and hugged Elijah from behind. “You was robbed!” he murmured.

Elijah patted his hands. “No, I wasn’t. I’m fine with this.”

Sean took Elijah’s hand and lifted it to his lips, murmuring: “I agree with Dom.”

“You know the politics of this business,” Elijah said casually. “I won last year, they needed to slap our wrists a bit for the stuff at the premiere, and furthermore I don’t give a damn!” He laughed and squeezed Sean’s hand. “Now shhh… they’re back from commercial.”

They turned back to the stage as the room stilled, and Sean found himself once again clutching Elijah’s hand tightly. It was time to announce the winning director.

For the first time that night, Elijah sat forward. He held Sean’s hand tightly, but his attention was focused intently on the stage. The proceedings seemed to move in slow motion as they read off the names of the nominated directors. Elijah could barely breathe, and he felt his whole body trembling. He marveled at himself. He had not wanted his own Oscars with anything approaching this kind of fervent longing. He had never wanted **anything** this much before. Not like he wanted this award for Sean.

Sean leaned back in his seat and drew in a deep breath as they opened the envelope to reveal the winner. The theater seemed to grow very, very still. And then a voice rang out:

 **_“And the Oscar goes to…  
Sean Astin for ‘Witness To History’._ **

Sean sat for a moment, stunned. Vaguely he became conscious of his daughters weeping and shrieking in joy. Next to them he heard Mackenzie hooting his happiness to the skies as he applauded. Elijah yanked him to his feet while Dom and Viggo pummeled him from behind. Then Elijah was in his arms and as they embraced the whole theater exploded into applause.

“Sean, you **won**!!” Elijah yelled, hugging him so tight he could scarcely breathe, pounding his shoulders in joyous abandon. “Sean! Sean! Jesus, baby, you won the frigging **OSCAR!** ” Sean leaned back and looked into his glowing face, still half befuddled.

“Go get it!” Elijah said, pushing him up the aisle. “Go get that golden man!”

"Come with me," Sean pleaded, trying to tug Elijah to the stage.

“No!” he said, pushing Sean forward. “I’ll go up with you if we get best picture. But not now. This is **your** moment! Go on, Seanie.”

Sean stumbled to the podium, accepting congratulatory hand shakes and slaps on the back the entire way. He accepted the Oscar into trembling hands and turned to face the crowd that filled the Kodak Theater. He swallowed hard. Applause still echoed in the huge room, and looking, he saw Elijah standing on his seat applauding and cheering wildly, supported from behind by a grinning Viggo.

He started to stammer out his thanks, feeling for the moment transported by his elation and his gratitude. “Wow,” he breathed, then looked out over the crowd, who quieted to hear what he had to say.

“I honestly don’t know what to say. It’s been such a long road. And I owe so many people for the fact that I’m here today. From as far back as my childhood,” here he blew a kiss toward his parents whose faces were radiant with delight, and toward Mackenzie who stood with his arms around all three of Sean’s daughters. “I owe thanks to so many friends who helped and supported me every step of the way, some of whom are here tonight.” And he pointed toward Dom and Viggo. “And of course, my beautiful and most beloved daughters, who give their old man more happiness and pride than he ever imagined was possible.” He gestured toward his daughters, who all three blew him kisses, their faces alight with happiness.

“’Witness To History’ was blessed in having the finest producers in the industry backing it every step of the way. Without their faith in me and in this story, none of this would have happened. I owe a huge debt of gratitude to every single person who worked on this film. They are ALL consummate professionals who did an outstanding job. They made me look good, and I’m grateful.”

“And now,” Sean said in a hushed voice. “I want to talk about my leading man.” He turned to look at Elijah, who was now standing next to Alexandra holding her hand. He was gazing up at Sean, his eyes luminous with love.

“What can I say to you?” Sean half-whispered. And for that moment it was as though they stood alone in the vast auditorium. “Without your faith in me… in us… I don’t know where I’d be right now. I do know I wouldn’t be _here_. I want to say, here and now, at this moment in our lives and before all our friends and colleagues… I love you, Elijah. And more than anything else in my life, I’m grateful that we are finally together.”

Then he looked up at the hushed audience. “Thank you. All of you.” He bowed and walked from the podium with the presenters at his side as, once again, the theater exploded into applause.

Minutes later he stood again at the podium, this time with Elijah at his side, as ‘Witness To History’ was proclaimed the Best Picture of the Year. This time Sean let the producers do the talking, preferring to stand quietly with Elijah, holding his Oscar, not saying much except to add his thanks to that voiced by David and Harlow.

At the press gathering afterwards, the inevitable questions about their relationship were brought up yet again. Reporters wondered if Elijah thought he was refused an Oscar because he and Sean had ‘come out’ the night of the premiere. Elijah merely grinned and pointed to Sean’s Oscar. “You kidding?” he asked. “He’s gay too, you know!”

Eventually their limo was brought around and they rode to the party celebrating their victory. Sean sent Elizabeth and Isabella home before any serious partying commenced, but Alexandra stayed. Orlando had joined them after the ceremonies, and Alexandra sat with him all night. Sean caught glimpses of them as the evening wore on, dancing together and smiling in obvious happiness.

Later that evening, he and Elijah stood on the sidelines drinking champagne and watching the guests as they danced. Sean's arm was draped about Elijah's neck and they swayed gently to the rhythm of the music that floated through the room.

In his other hand Sean held an early edition newspaper. The picture on the front page showed an elated Elijah avidly embracing Sean just after his ‘best director’ win. Sean’s face could not be seen because it was buried against Elijah’s neck. But they embraced with a fierce passion, and joy shone like a radiant light from Elijah’s face.

“That’s the money shot,” Elijah said, nodding towards his own image. “By tomorrow that’ll be in every paper in the country and all over the Internet.”

Sean shrugged and tossed the paper to a nearby table. “Let it,” he said decisively, then kissed Elijah’s cheek.

Elijah smiled at him, then glanced around the room. “Everyone looks so beautiful.”

Sean looked, too, then sighed. “Oh my god,” he moaned, nodding toward Orlando and his daughter as they danced to a particularly romantic number. “Would you look at that?”

Elijah laughed and slipped his arm around Sean's waist. “Yep,” he said happily. “We’ll be grandpas before you know it.”

Sean glowered at him. “Troublemaker,” he growled, then his lips sought out the spot on Elijah’s neck where Sean _knew_ he was most sensitive.

Elijah sat his champagne down and, facing Sean, wound his arms around his neck. He felt Sean's arms tighten around his waist, pressing him close… tight against his body. Elijah moaned softly in pure bliss, feeling the same rush of breathless love... the same sense of enduring security… that had captured his heart in the wild days of their youth in New Zealand.

“They’ll be alright,” he murmured. “If you’ll recall, no one thought **we** were a very plausible couple either.”

“Mmmmm,” Sean replied, kissing gently along the edge of Elijah’s shirt collar.

“And just look at us now,” Elijah whispered, shivering at the touch of Sean’s lips.

“Maybe so,” Sean said. “But… but…I mean, Jesus, Elijah. Orlando and **ALLY**?” He shook his head, half in amusement, half in fatherly anxiety.

“Hey!” Elijah said suddenly. “Maybe the four of us can double date!”

Sean leaned back to stare into Elijah's eyes, his face expressionless. “I’d rather have my teeth drilled.”

Elijah giggled, then pressed his face to Sean's shoulder. “How long do we have to stay?”

“You eager to get home?” Sean asked, grinning as his lips found Elijah’s neck once again.

“Not really,” Elijah replied, snuggling against Sean’s body. “We have all the time in the world now. I don’t feel afraid of the future anymore. I don’t feel afraid of anything.”

Sean kissed his temple. “I love you, Elijah,” he murmured. “And I feel exactly the same way and that’s strange for me. Time has always felt like my enemy. Something I had to struggle with and somehow conquer. It took us a long time to get where we are today, but we finally made it. And now I feel as though time has become a friend to me. How could it be anything else when all the time that I have left will be spent… with you?”

 _I only know what I know  
The passing years will show  
You’ve kept my love so young, so new_

 _And time after time  
You’ll hear me say that I’m  
So lucky to be loving you_

\- end -


End file.
